Open Mic: #1

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Action Kamen View Drop Down
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Joined: 24 February 2019
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    Posted: 24 February 2019 at 2:45pm
I gotta say somethings,
lotta astray behavings,
but the past was engraving,
the trauma, the raving,
drama so I arm a,
killing these beast like contra,
making me a monster,
help, I need a doctor,
kickin verses like soccer,
spewing shit like a pastor,
so I better quit writing this disaster

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Nigma View Drop Down
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Topical ChampOpen Mic of the Month
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Nigma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 February 2019 at 10:41pm
Hello. This was fairly basic, lacked any depth or  foundation for building concepts, it was essentially a rhyme exercise. Yes, I suppose it did rhyme for the most part, but basic rhymes with one syllable end rhymes and no internals. No literary devices aside from some very basic allusions to them. Perhaps being over critical but keeping it 100. If you're brand new to writing this is a solid start, lots of areas you could improve upon though. 
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