Open Mic: #1 |
Post Reply |
Author | |
Action Kamen
Newbie Joined: 24 February 2019 Status: Offline Points: 1 |
Post Options
Likes(0)
Posted: 24 February 2019 at 2:45pm |
I gotta say somethings,
lotta astray behavings, but the past was engraving, the trauma, the raving, drama so I arm a, killing these beast like contra, making me a monster, help, I need a doctor, kickin verses like soccer, spewing shit like a pastor, so I better quit writing this disaster |
|
Nigma
Site Moderator Joined: 25 March 2013 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 4077 Crew: Elision |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Hello. This was fairly basic, lacked any depth or foundation for building concepts, it was essentially a rhyme exercise. Yes, I suppose it did rhyme for the most part, but basic rhymes with one syllable end rhymes and no internals. No literary devices aside from some very basic allusions to them. Perhaps being over critical but keeping it 100. If you're brand new to writing this is a solid start, lots of areas you could improve upon though.
|
|
|
|
Post Reply | |
Tweet
|
Forum Jump | Forum Permissions You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot create polls in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum |
|