Open Mic: Ambition vs Reality

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   It's frontin hella fuckers-day but what'll sell so cops will play?
They vague like shades from helicopter blades
and fake rights kept me up to date.
Pops got shot through his belly for his Machiavelli doctorate-
an obnoxious state of constant hate consciously mockin' it
despite what's at stake. I'm breathing insane,
in fact I'm just needing some game...
But I'm angry and lame,
so I'll re-write popup pages with knocked up mages
and patent mecha-babies with Star Trek tats in stages!
Apt ents n pent up ladies over eighty kept in cages fed with rabies.
You don't wanna know what it feels to be weightless,
the change you'll see
is obesity saviors yeet fat fucks to space n tell kids to scream for the angels.
We can't put this in a box n fire it up cus shit isn't safe dude,
unless the liar is hot, into politics and silence critics with "fake news"
the choir won't rot.
BUT I'M A FIGHTER AND TOUGH!
See? I'll do this for REAL and give it all that I got:
Internet shame, coffee
and pot.

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Objective Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 14 March 2020 Status: Offline Points: 22	Post Options Post Reply Quote Objective Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Topic: Ambition vs Reality Posted: 14 March 2020 at 1:27pm
	It's frontin hella fuckers-day but what'll sell so cops will play? They vague like shades from helicopter blades and fake rights kept me up to date. Pops got shot through his belly for his Machiavelli doctorate- an obnoxious state of constant hate consciously mockin' it despite what's at stake. I'm breathing insane, in fact I'm just needing some game... But I'm angry and lame, so I'll re-write popup pages with knocked up mages and patent mecha-babies with Star Trek tats in stages! Apt ents n pent up ladies over eighty kept in cages fed with rabies. You don't wanna know what it feels to be weightless, the change you'll see is obesity saviors yeet fat fucks to space n tell kids to scream for the angels. We can't put this in a box n fire it up cus shit isn't safe dude, unless the liar is hot, into politics and silence critics with "fake news" the choir won't rot. BUT I'M A FIGHTER AND TOUGH! See? I'll do this for REAL and give it all that I got: Internet shame, coffee and pot.

Crimson Juice Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Crimson Juice Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 14 March 2020 at 7:26pm
	Yep this verse hits the spot for me, you came out bucking like a cowboy at a rodeo here, the opening bar alone stands as a highlight in its own right, the imagery kicked here was solid, (corrupt cops and not knowing where you stand with them at any given time), in fact i liked the whole piece, shit i ain't even got a gripe to offer you as an improvement, the two sided ying n yang scenario was expressed nicely through out, not only did it have depth, it had this participation vibe etched in also, meaning, a reader can grasp the subject matter with ease, and intelligence permitting could delve deeper too, something for everyone kind of offering, i found the rhyme scheme simplistic but in a good way, i have no issues with it to be honest, a real nicely done verse here, where the enjoyment was mine...peace.
	"You need to learn how to make an exit, before you can dare make an entrance".

Objective Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 14 March 2020 Status: Offline Points: 22	Post Options Post Reply Quote Objective Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 14 March 2020 at 11:34pm
	Dude, that's heartwarming to hear. Cool to hear you enjoyed my first verse so you can be disappointed with the next, haha. Nah, gonna try to keep it at a respectable level, thanks for reading and giving me your thoughts. See ya around.

Sammy Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2223 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Sammy Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 19 March 2020 at 5:02pm
	sup Obj, nice to see you here. as usual crisp rhyming and scheming. helicopter blade shade...lol aite, interesting and creative image. (how and why would u think of that lol) i may be missing something but i don't seeing much connective tissues here especially in regards to the title. i somehow read this as a social stream of thought that didn't really accent the title as i remained lost after reading it. i may have to read it again.