Open Mic: Tom Pain's Bones.

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Crimson Juice View Drop Down
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    Posted: 03 April 2020 at 7:06pm
A quick key on the train home from work to relieve the boredom..


As i looked out one evening,
viewing the river of discontent,
I seen my friend ol' Tom Pain
running down the road he went,
Sayin' "i can't stop right now my
friend king George is after me",
"He'll put a rope round my throat
& hang me from the Liberty Tree",

I will dance to Tom Pain's bones,
Dance to Tom Pain's bones,
Dance in the oldest boots i own
to the rhythm of Tom's bones,

He said "i only talked a lil about
freedom, justice for everyone",
Since the 1st word i spoke, its like
im lookin' at barrels of guns,
He says "i preached revolution",
let me say this in my defence,
All i did where ever i went was to
talk a lot of common sense,

I will dance to Tom Pain's bones,
Dance to Tom Pain's bones,
See him dance at the gallows
before that creekin' rope moans,
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Neek View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Neek Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 April 2020 at 10:59pm
I enjoyed this limerick. had a fun feel to it, feels layered, but im too simple to really catch the underlining meaning. I think it correlates to British knowledge that goes further than I have. even without being totally hip to the punchline.. I dug the feel.


the world needs more universal content. youre really outside your box these days. good to see.
#Bananas
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Crimson Juice View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 April 2020 at 1:38am
Thanks for reading Neek, it is a limerick of sorts about the birth of the IRA
with a satire view entow, i see you've just dropped an OM, i'll be checking
that out real soon, again thanks man...
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Neek Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 April 2020 at 12:33pm
I knew it was layered, thanks for explaining Crim. I def caught the satire angle tho lol..hence "punchline".. now I can LOLS freely :P
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Goryo. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 April 2020 at 7:20pm
Haha I had to google. So not only the backstory but the actual song that I didn't know existed. Were you listening to it on the train and were suddenly hit with the inspiration? Anyway this is cool and creative, I dunno if folk-rap is a thing but this had a folk-rap vibe.. best way for me to describe it. Whiskey in the Jar interpretation next? Haha. I liked the smooth, clear wording and the pace of the drop, you didn't let any part go stale with repeating too much about one part and moved on through it well. It told a story in a condensed way while having a poetic vibe and obviously the running commentary and dialogue. A lot of good attributes which kept it fun. Keep it up.
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