Open Mic: Murdering this Text Shit

first and foremost, welcome to the community.


My past is heavier than a sack of bricks,
spine crumbling reasons to jack your wrists.
Masochists chewed us up, abuse the system abusin us,
hues blue with quite a few half truths actin tough,


I like the scheme here, half truths was pretty subtle, yet effective. definitely has a freeflow vibe, which I always like. good start.

clues glued to cues of trust while news knew who to bust.
Crack some nuts not amused by cuffs, bitch, I'm just losin' up.

Loosening up? I am not sure what losing up means. Either way, still with a very intact scheme. crack some nuts was probably the best segue ive seen in awhile. like it.

Dig deeper,
evil twin's the grim reaper, stim seeker.

nice.

What could break and make a snitch seem weaker?
Fuse is lit with gasoline, benzos and broken dreams,
tweakers can't cope within, blood choking, that's an open grin.
Freestyle with punches now that chin's flexible,
break a bone to seem respectable, use that to craft my weapons recticle.

firtst two bars I wasnt over the moon about, but that last one? yo.


Rep the spectacle, got game on optimal abdominal strain,
intolerable pain claim a clear window to conquering brains.
Honor my name, fold when
Hold'Em courts, I'm cold as a schizo-affective bipolar high roller for sport,

I mean, you can definitely rhyme, but this is starting to come off for just the sake of it, and while I like freeflow vibes.. I need direction. we was going places with the street mantra stuff, but now we're veering into random references for cool points. imo of course.

chip a tooth of what a dollar is worth, bluffin' institutions a normal resort.
Text-drive' on a spin of one armed bandits getting caught in things,
my hustle strong and morbid, I know markets bought with limbs.
Nothings wrong in orbit, sun consume your wings of wax,
black out your train of thought only to resume on simple tracks.
Serial killers with beats iller, no squeaks filler, they sample that,
I treat Thrillers with meatcleavers, cops witness with heatseekers
how their streets and creepers seem sweeter with Christ livid,
your lies timid. Won't spare the rod, you better fear your God
cus I'm nice with it!


ended pretty good... despite the claims of no filler, it had a pinch lol. anyway man, I like it. I would like to see a topical joint or just a more focused and driven piece. I wish the WWC was still a thing, I think you would bring some serious heat to that. while this place does seem like a ghost town, we do be in here from time to time.