Open Mic: some_bs

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D-NoS View Drop Down
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    Posted: 23 April 2020 at 9:16pm

They call it a mystery!?, like hey whats the question?
I call yall the mystery, my reason for depression

Not after attention, ..have you seen prescription?
There isn't much thats right with me, I have mental retardation.

This reason for ressesion's ..best left unmentioned.
It all ends in detention... - after this session..

Drugs im taking, jumble mind like these words im spraying..
Prayin to god i make it thru this trip..  ..last one not worn off.

In person kinda nice, kinda queit, kinda shy,
Some ignore ..some call me random - call me dice

Life in a labrinth is what its like with 3 eyes,
Bugged out talking to the T.V ..like fighting-for-my-life,

Hardly suprised to find that I've lost my mind,
No point in trying for escape, all destined to die.

Stretching your awarness with a lil' pull from mine,
Everythings a lie, word is born and wrong is right,

live ur, liv u
https://dnos.bandcamp.com

https://soundcloud.com/dnos_aka_dicey
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Crimson Juice View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 April 2020 at 12:27pm
Well i'll be honest and type i liked this one, yeah it was simple in scheme,
nothing to heavy to make a reader stop and question or examine, and that
in return aided the flow here, i do have a niggle here though, try to avoid
using the "tion" words to frequent, as it gives off the impression of a lazy
thought process, it's an easy word to rhyme with like cat or dry, just a few
of these words together reads saturated real quick, as for the subject matt-
er/content it was in the vein of escapism, via the labyrinth/drugs inclusion
to highlight just a fragment of this verse, yeah i liked it, cool drop....peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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CHAIN View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote CHAIN Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 April 2020 at 4:45pm
Never call your art 'some bs'
How am I supposed to take you seriously when you give me something and say its bs.

Be confident, be great, shine, slay some dragons and do your thing.
+Sick-Witted+
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