Open Mic: Patrice Morgan: |
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Objective
Groupie Joined: 14 March 2020 Status: Offline Points: 22 |
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Posted: 04 August 2020 at 9:32pm |
Medically gifted; she's the daughter of life. Descendent from healers, doctors and strife. Patrice Morgan's wounds expand from inside as her darkened heart extrude from her eyes. Her story's cute to the tunes of demise: ... Her tide of sorrows passed in English class, as she glanced at Matt's sneaky winks of sass. After graduation day was when he made his play: "Wanna go and hike the mountains with me?" It was her greatest day, hugged him "Yes", but tells him that she doesn't love him yet, something that she won't forget. ... Silky shades of magenta fades the blue blanket of earth, misbehaved greytones break the sky's lack of tension in bursts. Thundrous roars pour rain drops upon the bound and shot, as their souls embark on hardships mountain top. Halfway up she tells him, "Stop and wait!" followed by heavy breaths of "Water break!". Matt slowed his pace, went ahead to scope the way, her curse from birth inspired Death a landslide play. She spent the day, insane, picking bits and pieces of her deceased prince's bones alone as stress increases. They found her covered in reddish mud and blunt delusion, sewn her arteries to his to attempt blood transfusion. She woke up in a hospital bed with a moshpit of dread, eyes bled and conversed that she's lost when he's dead. Death's morale: It's the cost to be led. ... She fled at dawn, yet still in awe of how brutal nature is, her journey's now to fulfill her wish to wage her wits. "I'm a doctor, YES!" She crave control over life and death, pause correct, then falls for a starfish next in her manic debt of cause/effect. Along the shore she keeps her pet with hard neglect, rips its legs, then does her best to care for days just to watch him heal so she can say she saved her stray. Pat knows her lows the most, the blame and shame, so lost she face the deepest cost in the game of change. She's deranged and strange, walks the path of nothing, watch her stroll on sand with pet in hand as her soul is tied to wrath and conscious rotting. link 1: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/luciferian-oath_topic46256. - http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/luciferian-oath_topic46256.html link 2: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/guess-whos-back_topic10105_page2. - http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/guess-whos-back_topic10105_page2.html
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spume corrupt
Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3162 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Welcome to this place my man, you are clearly an experienced writer
Let me apologise for the lack of interest at the moment, we do/did have members who would have completely creamed their knickers over this kind of drop not so long ago but they are absent right now For me bro I will have to keep it real, you are definitely a good writer but this is not my kind of joint so I will say I recognise skills I won’t pretend I was feeling this Keep dropping brother, showcase your range and hopefully you will wake so sleeping giants, LA has mad varied talent and you would fit in well Bless |
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Well this was a doussey, firstly i'll start by typing i liked the originality of
this drop, it came off as fresh and enduring even quaint, you clearly know the craft of poetry as this in parts was just that (via the way it read), this verse had all the qualities i like, imagery/emotions shit, the whole 9 really, the content made me stay put like a mother and child senario at meal time, but in this case left me wanting more like "Oliver Twist"..lol, and man you caught the essence of the pic supplied rather well also, the depth for me was a highlight here, as this seemed fleshed out, very well done overall, i hope to read another soon... salute..peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Concrete
Standard Member Joined: 02 September 2013 Location: Oslo Status: Offline Points: 1418 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 33-6-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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So you stumbled your way in here like me Objective, I also see you got some advanced pen game going on. This piece got me feeling nostalgic, reminds of the old HH.no topical tournaments as peeps like Lurk and Noc comes to mind. I guess is a combination of that "skolestil" english combined with slick rhymes.
Not much say besides I liked the whole thing, favorite bar: Silky shades of magenta fades the blue blanket of earth, misbehaved greytones break the sky's lack of tension in bursts. |
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