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spume corrupt
Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Posted: 13 August 2020 at 11:44pm |
Put a joint to ya head, make the punching hurt
Thumping verse, curse abundant words Done doing pointless text that’s a trump alert Flows anoint and bless all the drunks at church This munster verse a tall order...lunch with lurch Saying HI looking down at the munchkin herbs About more pussy hides than cunt under skirt Blade slice through ya soft inside, sponge dessert Flame got ya burnt sat/a/light plunge to earth No bar plays reborn but I am dungeon birthed Barren growth formed deformed in the tundra dirt Shits like you done deserve not a bums concern Lay waste to ya whole troop, grunts on turf Swerve ya spray fuckin stink like it’s skunk preserve I’ll ever run out of lines You skint junkies purse Going ape with my bounce like a monkeys perm Quick knock a bitch down, thumping birds Not the female type cos I might touch em first Bang hard enough make a drum skin burst Think I don’t got more..... But Mo he can like the punks rebirth Cut out the faces that’s my pump king curse I keep on rising call it sunk reverse Yeah I stole the top that’s my plundered perch That’s just me keeping it straight No junctions turned |
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spume corrupt
Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Typo......
I’ll NEVER run out of lines You skint junkies purse |
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Objective
Groupie Joined: 14 March 2020 Status: Offline Points: 22 |
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Thise one flowed pretty well throughout, I like the switch up in flow here and there to keep it fresh while still maintaining the same rhythm, also like how the multis and rhymes were followed throughout the whole piece without it feeling redundant or repetitive which is what I find to be the most difficult stylistically in pieces like these. Good shit.
Shits like you done deserve not a bums concern Lay waste to ya whole troop, grunts on turf ^Harsh, lol. Also, can't you edit your verse to fix the typo?
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spume corrupt
Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Thank you very much for taking the time to read and feed this OJ’ that is much appreciated
I write to entertain myself but of course it’s a buzz if somebody else finds something they like Nah Edit seems to have disappeared from post options, it was possible back in the day but then I haven’t dropped anything for a year or so maybe I forget how to edit from open mic? Honestly bro it was you signing in and showing some talent recently that inspired me to pick up my pen again, place been dead lately..... I owe you some thanks my man because I enjoyed knocking this up quickly and wanna get back writing for a minute Much respect main I got you tomorrow on your new drop Peace |
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Objective
Groupie Joined: 14 March 2020 Status: Offline Points: 22 |
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That's fucking dope to hear. Looking forward to check out your drops if you write and post some more up. Was a good read. See ya around.
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Concrete
Standard Member Joined: 02 September 2013 Location: Oslo Status: Offline Points: 1418 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 33-6-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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Cool little rhymeflex thing here spume, for some reason your style is distinct across the boards. I suppose its your vocab and slang that I cant pinpoint exactly where is coming from. At any rate, props for bringing something lively in these dead times.
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Well look at you dropping a verse, damn it seems an age since i've fed one of
your joints, and you didn't disappoint here either, a flex piece that's brimming with most of the elements that make this a stand up and out verse, this verse had depth, maybe not so much in imagery, but in the wording department itself, you showed you have a good wealth and range there via the assonance used, shit even the half rhymes were solid and seemed unforced, not an easy thing that to do, the w/plays within was blunted and direct but still cool as it seemed to add character and a rough slant/edge, yeah i enjoyed this drop, ripe verse my man...peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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