Open Mic: Hi , Please showercy On Meeth yes I will feed BacK

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   Hello and greetings...

hope you are  feelin–....happy&cheery–...for this little letter your eyes are eatin// 

to all my homosapien beings//

dEATHONA.. we ON-tha ,final compleTION, FINALLY a proper profile just as was neeeDED/

DONT believe ME!, I ain't have it eaSY//
Word from the WISE nothing sweATER, dodged SkilSHots with blessed re-FLEEX((TYjesus))

 As I  BLAST EDEN , so gLAD to HAAve-you this evenin!//

It took time to even find time T'TYPE THIS THESIS// 

Suicide NOTE'S , I am TrEATED//

 a middle easTERN middle class REJECT//
 since he was jusTA—FETUS//

Groomed TA—HATE his SPIECES//

These ocean waves GAT'EM SEA SICK //

Long before languages touched the tongue he SPOKE to CREATURES//

Not Christian but I pray to Christians this doesn't get  DELETED...

SALAM , internet keepers n introvert creepers//

2nd , lingo is eengleesh//

I am NEW2 arena, NEW2 arenNAS//

I hail from KSA Makka ,MadiNAH// 

SALAM citizen's , and non-believers

 things I  hate more Than infadales or heBREEWS/

ARE little KiDS on Tha INTERNET too scared too—see YEW//
I stay zen drinking beetroot, open all 
7 chakras n start to RE-BOOT//

Lighting claps as an audIANCE-in my ROOM ...feels ma  ambIANCE applauding for—no fucking—reaZON//

NO, I NO tha truth !!
A mindset thats been etched-IN//

Smartass savy Sheeple with a god-COMPLEX, glass figures they all SEE through ,fuck bois simps, imps with EGO'S and ALAS the legendary thoty heros//

so we on good terms if you ain't included in those EVILs

Shout OUT to all of the writers & the Readers ......

Shout out to all the students & teachers , old lovers , street hustlers young mother's and cheaters and in-between'ers can't forget tha fans on the bleachers I'd like to add more speakers// 

Just so this preach is clearER....

Wallah you would never accept it//

This muslim swears that hes tha BOOMB , though no cords detected//

my speeds electric ,I SPIT PSAAALMS leave you disconnected//

Like the  USB ssamSUUNG , charger in yo fuckin Lexus 

Keep mind sHAARP , MURDEROUS weapon,  swears on the BiblE & QURAAN proceeds with lies in replies he plays on his SOONGs and they say... 

"Dont be shy to dive into this MIND of MINE "

"Don't be shy to dive in the SEA of LIFE"

that constantly shINES projecting pictures and sIGNS,  flawlesly reflecting a well designed obviously a nod to a great DeVINE//

accepting any anonymous hype?, Noo Kenny loggins can broaden your sights, how bout a vodka Sprite ?//

Mmm now that sounds nice .//

but the sad truth is the old and wise tell us to listen now the youths walking blind, 

i mentally checkmate my self on every corner

                     I HIDE

       planted on a land of MINES where 

                           I RESIDE 

                  not a single sound you know 

                       THE code of MIMES///

             trapped in a bubble hollow walls so

                             CONFINED// 

        we can see eachOTHER but you cannot come

                            INSIDE//

         makeup on my face cant see my fucking 

                             SMILE        

       costumes fit me perfectLY workin im doing Fine// 

                          ¡IF!

    PEOPLE planed to peek—through my pupils like PEEPHOLES IN—TO My                                               

                              fucking EYES/

       Windows to the soul my living room compromised  
         probably seep through NAKED NO  master of 

                       DISGUISE///

               scrEAM on my knEEs GOD of R SKY'S// 

            if i so much as either slip a step , bat an eye//
     OR sneeze while i sneak-a rhyme//
 Even if evok love when least supplied //
  simply trip all these wires , inevitable death on repeat over 100x multiplied.

Death to raw , unportected sex //
I'm too dam fly make your main your EX //
abit-too much of X, Got me thinking something ElSE//
 got these bars in my head,  send my brain a Text  than it sends me some heat maaan my brain the BEST//

 i love that feeling i GET, when i riiide//

 when i drive by 6, n hit all NiiiiNe// 

i kill when i type all u gone feel is a weird ass VIIBES/
  wont expect a THING , no angles sing that tales a LIie//

Bullet proof outside'n'in kill ma buddy i kill ur friend let it bang let it ring//  ok take a breath this aint pretend///

 but. how frequent is this n tf is this guy? oh...its death same gay name on everysite //

lowkey he kind of tight but not so  nice.i wonder why// id be inconsiderate if i say he can suck a dick// this idiot is pretty lit its really sick like really sick u get it YET???

 bad case of syphilis ~  my equipment-IS equipped WITH the suns Rays in equvaliance //

Your never gona E-volv kid, weak ass lines// 

probably fall back to a CHIMP or morf tits and have a DE-pressed life // 

grow gills sprout fins gay fish or both COMBINED 76genders WHO AM I :O/ mental terror for thes.kids blow yer BEHINDS/// 

These sheets were pre-written Specifically made  for any victim addicted to catching these knifes //

 an yes it is Dea hi

and yes i mean YOU M***r*........ what ? something u dont like? //

oh yeh hate the hate u got INSIDE//
 what a debate of faith u take the try's u just find ways to waste yeRR TIME// 

your the type  barry graves of ur own KIND,  forget about your peoples PRIDE, no need to carry shame u DYKE((CUNT))// 

 i hope ur pain dont SUBSIDE // such sad games played on MINDS//

 I can barley wait for the  day you DIE ur sins so heavy they break the SKY// 

swear ELEGIANCE too another SIDE dont u SEE IT ??//

 peace a LIE,/// 

but this piece saves LIFES, indeed YES  keeps us ALIVE!!//

  hold.me back no you WONT/ 
This type.of treatment intrigue's you right ??

WISH it wasn't up too you WISH we can substitute//

 I think i MIGHT eat this CHILD//

 so see if u also want beef i take NO BITE'S//

I just throw pests like u down the pipe ,im arab i dont even use forks or knifes((خمجعحح)) // 

Author	Message Topic Search Topic Options Post Reply Create New Topic Topic Ratings Printable Version Translate Topic
Deathona💎 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 21 April 2017 Location: Middle Eastern Status: Offline Points: 21	Topic: Hi , Please showercy On Meeth yes I will feed BacK Posted: 29 April 2017 at 1:41pm
	Hello and greetings... hope you are feelin–....happy&cheery–...for this little letter your eyes are eatin// to all my homosapien beings// dEATHONA.. we ON-tha ,final compleTION, FINALLY a proper profile just as was neeeDED/ DONT believe ME!, I ain't have it eaSY// Word from the WISE nothing sweATER, dodged SkilSHots with blessed re-FLEEX((TYjesus)) As I BLAST EDEN , so gLAD to HAAve-you this evenin!// It took time to even find time T'TYPE THIS THESIS// Suicide NOTE'S , I am TrEATED// a middle easTERN middle class REJECT// since he was jusTA—FETUS// Groomed TA—HATE his SPIECES// These ocean waves GAT'EM SEA SICK // Long before languages touched the tongue he SPOKE to CREATURES// Not Christian but I pray to Christians this doesn't get DELETED... SALAM , internet keepers n introvert creepers// 2nd , lingo is eengleesh// I am NEW2 arena, NEW2 arenNAS// I hail from KSA Makka ,MadiNAH// SALAM citizen's , and non-believers things I hate more Than infadales or heBREEWS/ ARE little KiDS on Tha INTERNET too scared too—see YEW// I stay zen drinking beetroot, open all 7 chakras n start to RE-BOOT// Lighting claps as an audIANCE-in my ROOM ...feels ma ambIANCE applauding for—no fucking—reaZON// NO, I NO tha truth !! A mindset thats been etched-IN// Smartass savy Sheeple with a god-COMPLEX, glass figures they all SEE through ,fuck bois simps, imps with EGO'S and ALAS the legendary thoty heros// so we on good terms if you ain't included in those EVILs Shout OUT to all of the writers & the Readers ...... Shout out to all the students & teachers , old lovers , street hustlers young mother's and cheaters and in-between'ers can't forget tha fans on the bleachers I'd like to add more speakers// Just so this preach is clearER.... Wallah you would never accept it// This muslim swears that hes tha BOOMB , though no cords detected// my speeds electric ,I SPIT PSAAALMS leave you disconnected// Like the USB ssamSUUNG , charger in yo fuckin Lexus Keep mind sHAARP , MURDEROUS weapon, swears on the BiblE & QURAAN proceeds with lies in replies he plays on his SOONGs and they say... "Dont be shy to dive into this MIND of MINE " "Don't be shy to dive in the SEA of LIFE" that constantly shINES projecting pictures and sIGNS, flawlesly reflecting a well designed obviously a nod to a great DeVINE// accepting any anonymous hype?, Noo Kenny loggins can broaden your sights, how bout a vodka Sprite ?// Mmm now that sounds nice .// but the sad truth is the old and wise tell us to listen now the youths walking blind, i mentally checkmate my self on every corner I HIDE planted on a land of MINES where I RESIDE not a single sound you know THE code of MIMES/// trapped in a bubble hollow walls so CONFINED// we can see eachOTHER but you cannot come INSIDE// makeup on my face cant see my fucking SMILE costumes fit me perfectLY workin im doing Fine// ¡IF! PEOPLE planed to peek—through my pupils like PEEPHOLES IN—TO My fucking EYES/ Windows to the soul my living room compromised probably seep through NAKED NO master of DISGUISE/// scrEAM on my knEEs GOD of R SKY'S// if i so much as either slip a step , bat an eye// OR sneeze while i sneak-a rhyme// Even if evok love when least supplied // simply trip all these wires , inevitable death on repeat over 100x multiplied. Death to raw , unportected sex // I'm too dam fly make your main your EX // abit-too much of X, Got me thinking something ElSE// got these bars in my head, send my brain a Text than it sends me some heat maaan my brain the BEST// i love that feeling i GET, when i riiide// when i drive by 6, n hit all NiiiiNe// i kill when i type all u gone feel is a weird ass VIIBES/ wont expect a THING , no angles sing that tales a LIie// Bullet proof outside'n'in kill ma buddy i kill ur friend let it bang let it ring// ok take a breath this aint pretend/// but. how frequent is this n tf is this guy? oh...its death same gay name on everysite // lowkey he kind of tight but not so nice.i wonder why// id be inconsiderate if i say he can suck a dick// this idiot is pretty lit its really sick like really sick u get it YET??? bad case of syphilis ~ my equipment-IS equipped WITH the suns Rays in equvaliance // Your never gona E-volv kid, weak ass lines// probably fall back to a CHIMP or morf tits and have a DE-pressed life // grow gills sprout fins gay fish or both COMBINED 76genders WHO AM I :O/ mental terror for thes.kids blow yer BEHINDS/// These sheets were pre-written Specifically made for any victim addicted to catching these knifes // an yes it is Dea hi and yes i mean YOU M**r........ what ? something u dont like? // oh yeh hate the hate u got INSIDE// what a debate of faith u take the try's u just find ways to waste yeRR TIME// your the type barry graves of ur own KIND, forget about your peoples PRIDE, no need to carry shame u DYKE((CUNT))// i hope ur pain dont SUBSIDE // such sad games played on MINDS// I can barley wait for the day you DIE ur sins so heavy they break the SKY// swear ELEGIANCE too another SIDE dont u SEE IT ??// peace a LIE,/// but this piece saves LIFES, indeed YES keeps us ALIVE!!// hold.me back no you WONT/ This type.of treatment intrigue's you right ?? WISH it wasn't up too you WISH we can substitute// I think i MIGHT eat this CHILD// so see if u also want beef i take NO BITE'S// I just throw pests like u down the pipe ,im arab i dont even use forks or knifes((خمجعحح)) //

ch3kkgame Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 03 July 2014 Location: Atlanta Status: Offline Points: 1145 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 14-2-1 Form: WWWWWW	Posted: 29 April 2017 at 1:44pm
	Bruh, what in the two fucks is this? The title made me click on it. However, the structure made me type this. That looks all kinds of crazy. Maybe you should get with some of the text heads here and learn how to structure it so it's readable. Cause right now, I just want to delete it. I'm not even trying to be funny. It's all over the place and long as fuck. Somebody get this dude a manual quick.

Lord Puente Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW	Posted: 29 April 2017 at 2:17pm
	Bro, I got you. The Manual http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/the-manual_topic44247.html


Crimson Juice Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW	Posted: 29 April 2017 at 2:32pm
	OK,first off to fix structure,try usging 2 lines as one bar then add your ends //,also pls don't type random caps,it fucks up flow on reading it gives the verse a pause feel, which lessen the impact of a rhyme,only use caps as a highlight to impact a certain word your stressing,now with that out the way you're verse is sort off a intro/greeting /hype,the main problem with this drop is that it comes off as spatial,I mean in parts you had some decent vocab/contents,then in other parts you had just ramberlings, there was a start and end the mid section,(and to be honest quite a bit of the mid section) was where the majority of your verse falls flat,it became heavy to read and kind off samey almost monotone whilst reading,all in all you had something to say, but it got lost via this course you chosen in presenting this drop,anyways...peace
	"You need to learn how to make an exit, before you can dare make an entrance".

ch3kkgame Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 03 July 2014 Location: Atlanta Status: Offline Points: 1145 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 14-2-1 Form: WWWWWW	Posted: 29 April 2017 at 3:21pm
	I'll thank both of you for him. LA is a good site to help you develop bruh. The text heads here are the best I've seen so listen to their advice.

Deathona💎 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 21 April 2017 Location: Middle Eastern Status: Offline Points: 21	Posted: 29 April 2017 at 3:40pm
	I appreciate the advice and tips thank you thread , i didn't really see anything that bad with it or even think of bar structure :v until you guys mentioned it :/

Lord Puente Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Final Boss Joined: 05 July 2016 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 1814 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-2-0 Form: LWWWLW	Posted: 29 April 2017 at 3:42pm
	im just excited for the massive amount of feedback you will be giving everyone.


Deathona💎 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 21 April 2017 Location: Middle Eastern Status: Offline Points: 21	Posted: 05 May 2017 at 1:07am
	don't get too excited LP -.- my feedback lacks knowledge:V

The Rap Daemon Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 05 August 2015 Location: Purgatory Status: Offline Points: 1108 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-14-0 Form: LWLWWL	Posted: 05 May 2017 at 10:14am
	At the moment - your feedback lacks existence.
	Faggot

Crimson Juice Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW	Posted: 05 May 2017 at 11:26am
	^^you have a strong point... Now Please,From Here On Feedback Only..peace.
	"You need to learn how to make an exit, before you can dare make an entrance".

Endeavor Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Moderator Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle Joined: 03 April 2009 Location: Your kitchen Status: Offline Points: 10000102 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-4-0 Form: WWLWLW	Posted: 06 May 2017 at 10:07am
	Listen bro, my patience is running thin. If you feedback lacks any knowledge as you say, acquire that knowledge by asking people for help. Starting a sentence off with "how did you do" is an excellent method to do so. Don't drop stupid one liners which hold no substance whatsoever. Locking this thread.
	#Bananas