Open Mic: How I Feel Lately |
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iLL ScriptureZ 
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Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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 Topic: How I Feel LatelyPosted: 17 April 2015 at 3:05pm |
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I found a moment to reflect…then It turned into a moment of disgust, and Plus I’m too broke to pay the rent I’m finna crash so buckle up, friend Tequila sunrise in need of love ties Choke holdin’ bottle necks & sometimes I fall flat when I buzz by… Look at these lush eyes Look at the cuts that made the bloodlines When will it subside? Curb my intentions of womanizin’ The latest bird, my fashion sense Can make it work, smell my ego The fragrance is made with hurt Stay awhile, just food for thought Who knew it’d be you it cost? I guess the mirror’s what threw me off In love from head to Louis Vuitton’s This ain’t the 90’s but you the bomb See since I was 13 I knew what these words mean Fallin’ on deaf ears but they heard me It painted the perfect canvas, mercy Survivin’ this shark tank of bloody water Hidin’ career happiness with muddy honor I see my entire world in my lovely daughter Any man with a girl turns to putty, don’t ya? I am lucky huh bruh? Tryna find my rhythm &, concentrate These lines are Ritalin & my mind is fizzlin’ To complicate, rhymes & multiply the dividends After some mouthfuls it’s like I tried with cinnamon Tried to be Infinite, tried to be Eminem In 2005 I was disciplined, 10 years later I’m missin’ it Never took the scenic route of bein’ true The music speaks to you & lately she’s bein’ mute
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daydizzle89
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Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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Posted: 17 April 2015 at 3:27pm |
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Brothaman,
This was hella nice. The flow was great. It gave me that hard bass feeling while reading it. I wish this was a little longer tbh. The content was nice man. You have some sick skills with catching attentions. The concepts, vocabulary, word placement and multis where leveled well. This was nice. Just remember that music is a way to honestly express yourself. good stuff here
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iLL ScriptureZ
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Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 17 April 2015 at 3:30pm |
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Words Diz... Yeah I've been on and off when it comes to writin'... Appreciate the feed
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Naga
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Joined: 01 April 2015 Location: London Status: Offline Points: 51 |
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Posted: 17 April 2015 at 5:40pm |
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Another nice Om from you ill, you keep a tight flow in this piece, the rhyme scheme to me seems innovative or at least the placement seems unorthodox to me in the best of ways, a creative approach you had that definitely paid dividends. What sets you aside from most is that when I read your OMs I can really see it being placed against music without the need for an Audio mic to help me see that. Good job. Good thinking using italics btw.
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iLL ScriptureZ
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Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 17 April 2015 at 9:06pm |
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Thanks Naga
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Nigma
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Joined: 25 March 2013 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 4077 Crew: Elision   |
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Posted: 17 April 2015 at 9:32pm |
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Dope man. Really liked the genuine emotion here. I was just vibin to a mellow track off Yelawolfs new album called Tennessee Love which really amplified the mood you set here. Dope rhymes, excellent portrayal of emotion, all round good read. Felt like you coulda kept going for twice the length, left me wanting more which is a fine compliment in itself.
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iLL ScriptureZ
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Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 18 April 2015 at 2:52am |
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Thanks Nigs
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nomedic
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Joined: 11 January 2014 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 1578 Crew: Hunger Games Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 35-25-0 Form: WWLLWL |
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Posted: 19 April 2015 at 9:59pm |
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You have a unique way of describing shit tgud looked like you were venting but the structure made it real nice to look at and go through the deep emotion was felt cause you were being real and i could relate nice drop man
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Trizzy Tre
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Joined: 28 March 2013 Status: Offline Points: 5101 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 30-7-1 Form: WLWLWW |
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Posted: 20 April 2015 at 12:00am |
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Wow...
A lot going on in this piece man, real deep and heartfelt. You truly convey your mixed emotions throughout each line. Lyrically this was dope, the wording and flow was slick. You definitely took a different approach woth the rhyme schemes, cool shit man. |
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iLL ScriptureZ
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Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 20 April 2015 at 1:05am |
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I appreciate the feedback guys
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JBrenn
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Joined: 03 May 2006 Status: Offline Points: 3757 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 40-26-0 Form: WWLWWW |
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Posted: 20 April 2015 at 8:57am |
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Flow is on another level again Ill!!!! Message was dope and you can put this as a 4-5 star category easily.
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iLL ScriptureZ
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Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 20 April 2015 at 2:00pm |
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Props Brenn, we gotta get on the collab I just haven't found inspiration lately
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