LA Magazine: Identity Crisis 2 Magazine: Round 3

If Gillman’s actin’ mischievous? He gets a waveless tank of prisms

With sonars pinging so loud, even the matrix breaks it’s rhythm

Frank is made in increments! But the most famous name that’s given

Is the doctor that created him, thus a shameful naked vision

The Wolfman’s howl is frivolous, the Lupus Dei’ll taint the system

I’ll make him Roll Over on a bear trap, and Beg to Stay in that positon

Jack the Ripper was insolence! It was my fangs that ate the vixens

I used to roam the streets of London and strangulate the wicked

Hypnotized the innocents, pierced a vein and drank the liquid

dragged the vagabonds to my lair and exsanguinate my victim

Call me Batman in a sense, cause of the pain at stake, inflicted

My life force is so moving, there's a change of state when bitten

The power felt is imminent, it's the strangest strain of sickness

the capillary thirst, amongst the most heinous stage of symptoms

prepare for the genesis!, as my greatest reign to witness

draining Helsing on his arrival, since he came to slay afflicted

Bram branded me as villainous, in his pages, blame was written

I bathed in blood that stained the mud, my ancient ways were twisted

back when I was militant, enslavement swayed the vicious

so they named me the Impaler cuz of the sadist strays I lifted

showing signs of vigilance, my changeless face has shifted

growing tired but never old, of all this ageless grace I'm given

now my story seen as synthesis, and my stasis wanes opinions

an looking like young loves summer dream

the sun always shone on her.. man she was sweet

the streaks of red in her hair lit up like her fiery side

I was getting lost in her smiling eyes, while we drive

couldn't help stare, an grin, as hers met mine

speeding, singing 'long to tracks from way back in ninety five

she had her feet sitting on the dash, an hands on her tanned thighs

dressed in a tank top that can only be described as, dam tight.

the sun setting gently, it fades into the dimmed light of night

says she'd told her mum nine - says she's a little tight for time,

well off the beaten track now, and she was like

'were we goin'.. i replied 'i'm not tellin... its called a surprise'

'alright?..', she said with a little bite.. an then she piped

'but what are we doing tonight'.. 'gettin fucked babe'.. *twice*..

I thought.. while gently pullin into a empty lay-by

'hello?!', 'emergency services, police, fire or ambulance?'

'police! please! my daughters missing, an im unsure of this man -

her friends havent seen her.. her phones broke or off

this is so unlike her, an we argued before she went sulking off    

'and how olds your daughter, miss?.. twenty? what? im sorry..

but ring back in 48 hours.. till then its best not to worry..'

*I really... really... wanted to fuck her..*

her touch is electric, mate, I wonder how she fucks..

I bet her little erect nips taste as good as her wee muff

always acts likes shes such a good girl, but maybe shed be naughty

maybe if I showed her my dark side, she'd do the same.. for me..

I think she plays with me, teases me.. likes to wind me up

always walkin to work in a short skirt that scream 'im a slut -

tie me up'.. id sat behind her at school, close enough to smell her

she wears chanel, jus like my mother did, with hints of vanilla

i showed her kindness, showerin compliments, till she was like 'No, stop it'

but.. id been friendzoned so hard... we'd even go clothes shoppin..

*..bitch..*

stood at the door knockin,

six cops and a swat team

'GET THE RAM READY..

HIT THE LOCK.. HE'S NOT IN'..

the slams steady an with a 'click' its

popped off its hinges  

the search beginnin already

siftin thru paperstacks

and tossed syringes

rippin every draw out.

ignoring the stench of rot

from the kitchens many half empty pots

cause that girl - she been missin days, then

without a flicker of hesitation

or any doubt came a heavy shout..

'SARGE... COME HERE...' he pauses,

not cause hes breathin -

he's jus tryna take it all in..

'I.. I THINK YOU NEED TO SEE THIS..'

'what is this place.. whats goin on, its kind of creepy'..

'Ive told you, its a secret.. C'mon... come inside.. youll see'..

walls all dark n dirtied, like theyd risen straight from earth

fallen windows left jus iron bars, on this prison made from dirt

vacated since the eighties, an asylum, where the different went to 'learn'

it was lit up by a sick fuck a touch violent, an it still glistened where it'd burnt,

charred roof n ash, scattered the path like its past occupants minds

knarled roots had wrapped the overgrown gates now lost in the grime

the wooden porch was black like tar, this lonely place rotten wa slime  

most slats now snapped apart, but the door still padlocked with a sign

'KEEP OUT' and 'DANGER'..  the rusty warnings ignored

its frame like paper, took one kick till the door was on the floor

its was a door like any other, showed nothing apparent..

but inside was the thoughts an soul of a man gone manic..

the cupboard a sick shrine to his love

her pictures hung from string, tied from above

next to candles and keepsakes

her lost gloves an other mementos..

this wretched man who'd reached hate

from a rotten love gone bad or mental

had full pads of scribbled poems an odes

layin next to homemade dolls an a naked barbie

shoes thatd fit a two year old tot..

but what really made the alarms ring

the bloodied kids knickers

stuffed into a locked box

and topped with glitter stickers...

'Sarge, this pictures different, it might be suttin

its old, worn, n was clipped to this paper cuttin,

this womans, shes beautiful.. she looks jus like her..

says she worked at the old institution, untill..'

..he tightens up..

'she was raped.. real brutal.. i think.. this is his mother' ..then..

as he read on the tale of this monster

dawned upon this simple copper..

'after labour, she went to jail.. for trying to smother him..'

we wandered through the neglected ruins, expecting ghouls

felt an ambiance that would test tombs, an the guts of lesser fools

a menacingly depressive moon filtered through the wreckage roof,

through the beams left to stew an lit up the dusty decrepit rooms

 that once slept the loons, screams still echo'd with every gentle step taken

floorboards shake with the weight of a thousand mental patients

she turned to me, trying to muster the strength to say something

her lips quivered an her chin wobbled, an then 'I'm late..' again..

taking her hands tightly, I squeeze just enough to hurt

shes squirms, confused at her situation, 'your not.. scared are you?

dont be a little girl.'..  I smirked..

i was gone. the world dissipated, his wet breath felt suffocating

so close i could taste it.. with every fibre i should fuckin hate him

but past emotion, i just laid still, expressionless.. nothing. vacant

resorting to displacement, i wondered if I'd wake up.

torrential black rain, the tears mixing with my make up

his claw like nails slithered and dug into my neck,

the other hand gripped my wrist and positioned above my head.

could feel his elbows shake, his weight twice mine an bearing down

grunt an rasp, his saliva frothing at the side of his mouth

how long could this fuckin last? my toes clenched in self pity

his trousers were barely down, and he was in me

my whimpers felt silly, trying to tighten up, it was useless,

dry as fuck, but he pushed through it, excited by his abusiveness..

her body lay naked

clothes torn from her

they were too late.. 'SHIT..

phone the coroner'

pools of red trickled to flood

her eyes still open.. in wonder..

and written in blood

the words 'I HATE YOU MOTHER'

Sammy: Ok, so tell us a little about yourself.

SELF: Well, I'm originally from Chicago, but I grew up in Mississippi. I moved to Fort Lauderdale as a teen. Then I moved back to the Sip to graduate high school and attend college. Then after my freshman year I moved back to Florida once again and went to college there as well. However, throughout the course of my life I've lived in a variety of different places other the ones just mentioned. For instance, I've lived in Alaska, Memphis, Iraq, and Costa Rica (where I currently reside). I've also traveled quite a bit just for leisure.

Sammy: That's dope. Why the different places?

SELF: Well, most have been work related. I majored in International Business. So after college my older brother hooked me up with a job that required me to travel and work in some odd locations.

Sammy: That's what's up. The furthest I've ever been was New York City lol. Aite so let's talk about ur name. Where did it come from? And fuck Neek for stealing that question for his Rutt interview!

SELF: New York is dope tho. I'll actually be up that way in a few months. And, yeah, Neek caught you slippin, bro. But ummm to answer your question ... I don't really know what made me think of that name. At the time I guess I just wanted something I thought would be catchy. Actually, that's not entirely true. In fact, now that I sit back and think about it I remember the SELF part is meant to represent my true self (my soul .. not my ego) and the ACTIVATE part is meant to symbolize me coming on-line with that inner being. In a nutshell: SELF ACTIVATE is just another way of saying "soul awakening". Also, the reason why my alias is in all caps is because I wanted it to standout and make a bold statement or proclamation. Plus, on some egotistical Rap shit I would like to think the name describes my ability to turn it on or off at the drop of a dime. I mean, once I'm charged up and in the zone I don't really think I can be stopped. Hence, when SELF ACTIVATES it's pretty much a wrap! At least in my battle oriented imagination. lol.

Sammy: That's a a gawdammn fact! I witness the 5-0 run ha! Well we know ur established but let's start from the beginning. What got u into hip hop?


SELF: Man, it was really like 8 and 0 before I got bored and started no showing. But, to answer your question, well, I was sorta born into the culture, bro. I can remember being 3 years old riding around town with my father bumping LL Cool J and Run-DMC cassette tapes. In fact, my earliest memories of music have all been Hip-Hop related. Not to mention, where I'm from everyone has always listened to Rap. Even way back in the sixth grade we would have rap battles in the schoolyard. By middle school we were making beats on the lunchroom table and spitting the wackest freestyles known to man. Long story short ... I never actually "got into Rap", it's kinda just always been there.

Sammy: Ahhh the old lunchroom table cypher! I miss those! How did u get into online hip hop writing/forums?

SELF: I want to say I just stumbled upon them by chance. Way back in the early days of the web online Hip-Hop mostly consisted of MSN chatrooms and cheap ass EZBoards or Geo sites that would be up one day and down the next. However, the first real forum I ever posted on was a site called Kaysha.com. It was owned and operated by some African rapper/singer. Strangely enough a variation of the site still exist, but the original Rap forum hosted on the site no longer does. Then again, it was over a decade ago. I think my name there was Sneak_da_Illest. Anyway, that site had some really dope ass writers. I mean, even by today's standards some of those dudes would still be considered advanced (in my very nostalgic opinion of course lol). But, yeah, reading the work posted there really peaked my interest, given the fact that even as a young kid I was always into the more lyrical side of the culture. I grew up on dudes like Nas and Jay-Z and later on down the line a lot of underground emcees, so I was already pretty fascinated by wordplay and storytelling. Plus, I read a lot of poetry back then as well. So to see cats writing content I was into on a daily basis and knowing I could be apart of it was like a dream come true. Back then I use to text battle so much I stopped doing my homework and damn near flunked outta school. Lol. Shit was live at the time, man.

Sammy: Ok so a bit of info, I met you on RB. When I first started u were THE FIRST dude to reach out to me, so I'm always appreciative of that. I remember being in SS and seeing you completely annihilated opponents. And we ain't talkin schmoes, we talkin some of RB heavy hitters like Endevor and OG Maestro. I know first hand when Self Activate is on...he's one of the scariest dude around. What makes Self bring his A game and can You walk us through ur writing process?

SELF: It's because you stood out. Your writing was fresh and different. It had a certain level of sophistication without being pretentious and your concepts were ones I never saw anyone else attempt. It was just dope shit to be honest. Still is, except even better.

In terms of my writing process tho. Ummm ... first I think of a concept. If I'm not inspired by a doc, movie, or current event, it usually takes about 2 or 3 days of just hashing ideas out in my mind before I settle on one that gets me excited to write. Sometimes I have lots of concepts I would love to write about, but just have no idea how I would properly execute them in real-life. Anyway, once I decide on the most feasible and interesting one I start scribbling lines. I might write ten different intros until I find one that fits. One that I know I can build upon. Once that happens the lines start coming pretty fast. However, I'm constantly rearranging their order in the verse. For instance, there might be a line or idea I really want to use, but maybe it doesn't fit where I hoped it would when I first thought it up, but I really want to use it, so instead of scrapping it or saving it for another verse (which I sometimes am reluctantly forced to do) I'll just put it to the side until I find a place where it fits in; it's kinda of like putting the pieces to a puzzle together. That's why I can never follow a rigid outline, only a skeleton of one, because once I start writing and the words start flowing the verse almost takes on a life of its own. I might start off thinking it's gonna begin and end one way and 40 lines later a whole new concept has emerged and the end result is one I never saw coming. And I fuckin wrote the shit! lol. Seriously, my only function as a writer is to harmonize the noisy text and to make order out of the chaos. Hopefully a fraction of that made sense. lol.

Sammy: I noticed that you adhere to lots of mythology in ur writing. I mean take ur avatar for example lol. I said this once that your verse always have some type of awakening. What are these themes so prominent in ur creative writings?

SELF: What's more epic and entertaining than mythology? I mean, it's literally the stuff legends are made of. Just name dropping a hero like Hercules conjures a thousand different visuals as well as invokes the idea of strength and stability. What I mean is ... when I incorporate these mythic and historical references into my work they are meant to serve as aspects, embodiments, and personifications of different emotions and human experiences. It a more creative and dramatic way of expressing a common trait  or understanding amongst all human beings because the references are already so well defined on their own. On another note, I'm very much into abstract and metaphysical concepts. I'm into occult science. And I'm also an avid studier of history and social politics. Not to mention, a 'conspiracy theorist' by nature. In any case, you're always going to find these deep philosophical questions in my rhymes and an overarching mixture of the aforementioned studies in my verses. It's just who I am as writer. I mean, I feel like if I'm gonna take the time to write something, then post it for the world to read and examine, shouldn't I actually say something of value? If it's gonna be for public consumption then at least give people something nutritious to chew on, food for thought if you will, or at the absolute least something entertaining and fun to read.

Sammy: Yeah I definitely think this is ur niche. The mystic and philosophical existential examination has done u well man. Ur best work, imo, are ones with those themes. U even manage to sneak them into narrative which is hard to do.

Ok so tell us how u ended up in LA and what was ur initial impression on this community?

SELF: I think I saw you mention it in a thread on another site. Then I followed the breadcrumbs. Once, I got here I knew it was a place I'd be spending a lot of time at. My first post got mad love and feedback and from that point on it just felt like home. Neek and Endeez were feeding a lot of my shit back then.  Now .... just crickets ... smh!  Also, the fact that I was already familiar with a lot of heavyweights didn't hurt either. For instance, you, Law, Nigma, Beans, and Rutt made the site's landscape seem less extraterrestrial. And then of course the Open Mic has always been my bread and butter, so discovering a place like L.A. seemed like finding a goldmine because the OM at the time (like now) was popping and Crim (like now) was feeding like a mad man.

Sammy: Ok so what were some of the names that stood out to you during ur first few weeks on LA?

SELF: Well, like I said I already knew a few people from previous sites so I was aware of their talent level before I got here. So besides the names I already mentioned, I'd have to say CHAIN was one dude that really impressed me off the bat. The way he worded his verses and the metaphors he employed seemed really unique and original. Then there was Endeez and Alice. The fact neither one spoke English as a first language, yet were still able to write at a top-tier level just blew my mind. Not to mention the poetry and creativity they both possessed. Diz also comes to mind. His content was questionable, but his ability to write raw and vivid depictions was not. Next we have Exo and iLL ... from the jump I noticed how dope their pieces flowed, the confidence their verses exuded and the ingeniousness imbedded in their storytelling abilities. Lastly, I'd have to say Neek and Doom for their pure lyricism and all around skill sets. Of course as time has passed there are definitely other members I've grown more familiar with and who I feel I could easily add to this list (Con and Tre for example), but in terms of when I first arrived here these are the ppl who first  made an impression on me. Although, in retrospect I think D2K and Ven could fit into this group as well.

Sammy: Word, Ven needs to come back f'rillz! Ok we may rile some feathers but fuck it let's talk ur Mount Rushmore of LA's topical scene.

Instead of 4 let's make it top 5

SELF: Bruh ... that's a hard one! lol

Sammy: I was requested to throw that one in  there haha

SELF: Okay, but here's the thing ... where does a cat like Rhet fit in? I mean, he's definitely top five talent-wise but, has he done enough on L.A. to be immortalized already? Of course I know this question is solely in regard to how long I've personally been here so I'll just give you my top five Open Mic'ers. You, Exo, iLL, CHAIN, and Endeavor. Obviously cats like Law, Nigma, and Kiki deserve a spot, but the first two hardly post and the third idk, if I add him I'd have to add Alice, Dizz, LP etc... I gotta draw the line somewhere.

Sammy: Haha that's a pretty damn good answer! It is a pretty stacked group of talent so I hear ya.

Ok so we're currently in the 3rd round of IC2. Without revealing who u think wrote what, what are a couple of standout verses to u, so far in the tournament?

SELF: Shit ... there's so many. But in Round 1: B13, B11, B9, and the 'Dog Battle'. Round 2: B2, B17, B5, B7, B9. And there was one battle I haven't really had a chance to read yet, so maybe a verse from that one too but I'm not sure.

Sammy: U can't see me but I'm jotting these down lol. I'm sure I've read them already but if u consign then I wanna read them again.

What's ur thoughts on IC2 so far? Again without revealing too much lol

SELF: It's probably the dopest tournament I've been apart of in a very long time. The concept of anonymity and blind voting in and off itself is really ill. And I think Law and Cuba have pretty much run it to perfection. The mag has been hella entertaining and the participation has been incredible. Not to mention the depth of talent we've had. Thus far the only critic that I have is the agony of anticipation. Having to wait an eternity to read a vote or uncover a winner. Other than that it's been near flawless execution all the way around. Shoutout to Crim and Amgin for blessing us with a heathy supply of quality feed and votes too.

Sammy: Haha word to the anticipation! That shits nerve racking for reals. And shout to Law for making sure the tourney runs well.

So we gonna play word association (another thing Neek fuckin stole from me!). I say a name or a word and you say the first thing to come to mind. Cool?

SELF: Ight

Sammy: We will start with Cuba

SELF: The Wizard of Oz

Sammy: Wtf lol! Neek

SELF: My nigga

Sammy: North Korea

SELF: Bowl cuts

Sammy: Lord Puente

SELF: Food Truck Mafia

Sammy: Ashley Kaos

SELF: Nasal decongestants lol j/p. Determination.

Sammy: The Law

SELF: Imagery

Sammy: Dave Chappelle

SELF: Genius

Sammy: Endeavor

SELF: My nigga

Sammy: Alaska

SELF: The Aurora Borealis

Sammy: Finally, Rhetorical

SELF: Talented

Sammy: Ok, well thanks for this opportunity, Self. Any parting words?

SELF: Yeah, man thanks for the interview. Sorry if I missed anyone. Shoutout to the whole crew and thanks for reading, whoever took the time to. Peace...

Round 3 topic theme: Biome Round

Biome

a large naturally occurring community of flora and fauna occupying a major habitat, e.g., forest or tundra.

Just in case anyone needs it. ^

There will be 4 Biomes each given to a specific battle.

- Tundra/Arctic

- Jungle/Forest/Woods

- Desert/Sahara

- Marine/Ocean

http://www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/glossary/gloss5/biome/

If you need further elaboration.

Now you can create your own story whether it's human-character based or based on the wildlife in the biome. The destruction of it. Your story/topical is entirely yours to create, however, it must be based in your specific biome.

Ex.

Marine/Ocean - Pollution, a guys life living on the sea, shark story.. etc. Same with all of the rest of them. If it's arctic feel free to right about igloos and eskimos. So again. All drops must be based around the given biome for the battle, the rest is entirely up to you.

VIII. Outro