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    Posted: 03 May 2008 at 12:42am
i already posted this in openmic...but i thought i'd get a rank on it aswell...
 
Topic - Cancer
Title - In A Childs Eyes
"In A Childs Eyes"
a new child-with-dreams...so much passion-for-life....
noth'n to defile-her-needs...she didn't ask-for-this-fight.....
believe's her vitals-are-clean...to young for grasp'n-advice...
piles of viles-she-bleeds...yet still laugh'n-at-night....
shes not understand'n-tha-truth...she doesn't know-of-beliefs...
thats because she's expand'n-her-youth....and she's grow'n-with-peace...
she's not a man-in-a-suit...she's a child exposed-ta-disease...
now even granted-it's-true...parents clothes soaked-ta-thier-knees....
her diagnosis-was-cancer...thought she came-here-ta-draw....
so she focused-on-prancer...her favorite raindeer-of-all....
skin soft-with-her-beauty...inside eating-disray....
cancer sought-n-consumeing....organs seeping-away...
skin now disolv'n-n-bruiseing....her minds completely-erased....
insomnia caus'n-illutions...ain't been sleeping-in-days....
yet she managed-ta-listen...to all the doctors-excuse....
feels strand'n-n-miss'n...cause noone offers-tha-truth....
waits for Santa-ta-visit...so young she's name'n-him-Clause...
he can start grant'n-her-wishes....she wish's the pain-would-disolve....
drunk father stands-in-her-vision....so he could claim-he's-involved...
looks around hope'n-he'd-part..says tha pains takeing-a-fall...
yet she knows-in-her-heart.....pain won't subside..maybe-at-all...
reality's grow'n-apart....single tear dropped-from-her-eye...
she came..opened-her-heart....now she's lost-as-ta-why...
her heart spoke'n-with-art....seems it's crossed-inta-lies...
young yet her intelegence-is-great...never invested-in-greed...
feels that heaven-scenced-her-faith..tha pictures a message-indeed...
she died-two-days-later.....now the infections-deceased...
as a writer i lay this written peice on her grave..you did great child keep rest'n-in-peace!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Fatal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2008 at 8:27pm
This was pretty cool. I havnt read too much of your verses so i wasnt sure what to expect. You have a good grasp on flow and multies but some were forced...
 
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