Open Mic: Iridescent Borealis |
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AshleyKaos 
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Joined: 11 October 2013 Status: Offline Points: 2511 Crew: Tha Syndicate  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 28-63-3 Form: LWLLNQ |
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 Topic: Iridescent BorealisPosted: 22 March 2016 at 7:43am |
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So my mom and her sister were never separate.... It was nineteen ninty one June the 22ND That's when god took her sibling to heaven 2 years later I was born on the same day..... Crazy right? She said I was a god gifted piece of light While she grieved a death she was blessed with life So I sit and think about it, and to me the message is clear. She's gone now so there's no more reason for me to be here. What's life without purpose , having none was my biggest fear Now That's my reality, so my eyes fill with unshed tears I'm never satisfied, an empty void festers in my chest ! When I achieve I'm only thinking about what I can conquer next .. I want to be the best yet it wont matter if I get ahead At the end of the day I still look within and see inside I am dead Always restless and my soul can never find any peace... If I stop going that gives me some time to think ... And my thoughts wander to a place I don't want to be Issues that if addressed, I'll die from the pain... Can you die from a broken heart? I know i just sound insane But I mean it , how can I seek comfort from some one I'm supposed to believe in? Put faith in the dude but I can't even see him? why wouldn't he keep a secret for scheming? This sick game goes back and forth.... My conscious is conflicted in a war I try to ignore.. The turmoil within seeps through my pores Desperation I try to hide and absorb to my core... That just makes the inner battle rage even more! I wish I could settle the score .. But I don't even know what im fighting for anymore! It's torture to say the least They say I'm selfish all I think about is me... Truthfully I'd rather give than recieve but I'm to deep in grief for anybody to see Who do I want to be and what way should I turn ? I ask for directions but nobody seemed to concerned Confused on why this is what god thought I deserved... I kept to myself my intentions have been good! I tried to do what I thought I should I guess it's something I never could If this was the final page of my book I'd think I would be good I wouldn't try to fight it ... Drift away to a place free from violence See my mother's figure coming towards me in the silence The void would then go away I'd finally get to be who I was like back in the day Before my life changed.... Then I awake , the fantasy a mistake My only question is how many of these days will it take for me to be okay? How much can I take before I break ? I heard that fate loves the fearless Well I've tried and given it my purest I'm still on the outside looking in like a tourist I want to throw my towel in and call it quits... Always Getting the shity end of the stick doesn't help my issues deep within I can't pretend like I know where to begin. Someone help, open up and please let me in Edited by AshleyKaos - 22 March 2016 at 7:51am |
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NUMBER 1 FEMALE MC TILL THE DEATH OF ME
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Neek
Site Moderator 
Super Mario Slaughterer Joined: 05 October 2004 Status: Offline Points: 3862 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-1-0 Form: LWWW |
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Posted: 22 March 2016 at 12:23pm |
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this is a real raw piece.
in particular I truly enjoyed the die from a broken heart line. your best pieces are your genuine pieces such as: boyfriend drama...manager beef and naturally your mothers passing. your pieces were you dont articulate as well are your flex drops. stick to shit that is true to you and youll become an even better writer. fuck impressing these clowns. |
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#Bananas
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Endeavor
Senior Moderator
Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle Joined: 03 April 2009 Location: Your kitchen Status: Offline Points: 10000102 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-4-0 Form: WWLWLW |
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Posted: 22 March 2016 at 1:21pm |
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^ What Neek said...
This line is very dope!
This one as well.
This section is a bodybag for me and I think a lot of other people. You can relate to it and it's worded just perfectly.
Damn, real talk.
This is probably the realest line I have seen on this website. Emotions aside, this drop is incredibly good. I flowed easily, while nothing too overly technical you have some really strong personal lines along with great metaphors to describe your feelings. 5 star for sure.
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#Bananas
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While she grieved a death she was blessed with life