Open Mic: Is There Hope?

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Shankley View Drop Down
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    Posted: 23 May 2016 at 3:22pm
Does true educated mean we'll never be a racist
Never see the problems that we all are faced with
Never see a man and recognise it's a different skin
There maybe a problem in the world but that isn't him
You maybe able to list where the difference is
But on a biological level there's no differences
The racists in the media are always the working classes
But is it not them that are working past this
It is not them that demonise a man of a different colour
Is it not them that are working with a man of different colour
Is it not them that go to the pub with a man of a different colour
Is it not them that see him not the man of a different colour
Medieval Islam was the centre of mathematics
But we'd rather highlight a few fanatical extremist antics
We'd not celebrate Islam and what it gave to us
But vilify it for the few and what they take from us
If a man of colour crashes a plane it's his race or religion
If a white man does its because he's in a deep depression
There are lessons we should be learning from our history
Why we have the urge to kill each other is the real mystery
Why can't we find some common ground
Before we kill everyone and humanity bottoms out
It's a problem now that we might be past the point of talking it out
We need to ignore the differences instead of pointing them out

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2016 at 9:09pm
Does true educated mean we'll never be a racist
Never see the problems that we all are faced with
Never see a man and recognise it's a different skin
There maybe a problem in the world but that isn't him
You maybe able to list where the difference is
But on a biological level there's no differences
The racists in the media are always the working classes
But is it not them that are working past this
It is not them that demonise a man of a different colour
Is it not them that are working with a man of different colour
Is it not them that go to the pub with a man of a different colour
Is it not them that see him not the man of a different colour
Medieval Islam was the centre of mathematics
But we'd rather highlight a few fanatical extremist antics

I'll start by typing in this segment your tempo was nice,I liked the
pace and ease this piece can be read at,I was feeling the contents
here,how through media and word of mouth that has been handed down,
can make men see another's colour before the man shocking really,this
is an interesting subject here you chose to use..

We'd not celebrate Islam and what it gave to us
But vilify it for the few and what they take from us
If a man of colour crashes a plane it's his race or religion
If a white man does its because he's in a deep depression
There are lessons we should be learning from our history
Why we have the urge to kill each other is the real mystery
Why can't we find some common ground
Before we kill everyone and humanity bottoms out
It's a problem now that we might be past the point of talking it out
We need to ignore the differences instead of pointing them out

Nicely put,so many questions with easy logical answers,but we have
been taught to hate,or to take pride in a country's past glory,sad
ain't it,how petty/blind/small/arrogant we are,to let another man
have power over another,this is a thought provoking verse,which I
believe you tackled well,you have been on point thought really,1
persons perception should not be for someone else,as we are all
individuals,but the elite want a hive mentality,and at this point
in time,that's what they have,I also like the simplicity in which
you displayed your vocab,as I feel if you went down the long word/
technical route,it would of marred this drop..well done I enjoyed
the read...Ripe verse...peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Shankley View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Shankley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 May 2016 at 4:56am
Thanks for the in depth feedback guy. It really is appreciated, the first verse I've written in a long time. So to read good things is always appreciated. Much love dude.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote alicewonder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2016 at 2:05pm
Can't go as much in-depth as I'd like to right now, but I thought this was a very nice read. I thoroughly enjoyed your concept here, as you raised some quite interesting points of a "current" issue. Your opening segment was one of the highlights of this verse. Unfortunately, I wasn't overly fond of the "is it not them" couplet scheme-wise, as it felt rather "unnatural" in a sense, imo, but I guess it did its purpose of emphasising the "other" perspective quite well. You had a lot of very interesting lines, especially towards the middle- and ending segment and I thought that your last bar was also great in terms of a "closure". 
I thoroughly loved the train of thought here, along with a few rather common, but well phrased statements. Overall, this was a quite refreshing and enjoyable read. 
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote -Que- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2016 at 4:03pm
I totally slept on this. But i came back to actually take the entire journey. Mechanically it needs work but the content is bold and flexes courage. Diggin the spoken form this drop is in. At least thats how i delivered it in my mind cuz it sounded more powerful that way.I'm not a long indepth feeder...more like i just like to slide thru and acknowledge great works. But yeah...nice welcome back drop. Parts throughout open up many discussions and views.

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Sky Scrapur Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2016 at 4:52pm
Originally posted by Shankley Shankley wrote:



If a man of colour crashes a plane it's his race or religion



That's exactly what the world judges.
Great piece man, there's always hope though it takes time for people to change. Islam is a religion, Arab is a race, terrorist a group of evil people but most Arabs. We can't blame a race like u mentioned or blame a religion(Islam) for a every terrorist attack.
The issue is most terrorist attacks are done by Arabs so people always catch fear whenever they meet one of them. It's just a big and complex issue man but it's best we hang on to hope and perhaps a solution will come to pass in the process.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Endeavor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 May 2016 at 8:29am
Alright, finally getting around to feed to this.

Quote Does true educated mean we'll never be a racist
Never see the problems that we all are faced with

Oooo, off to a strong start with a great question. You did kinda color the question, though. Implying that if humanity is educated to the point that racism dies we'll be unaware of our problems. While I believe that the more educated we are, the more aware we are of our problems and the solutions to them.

Quote Never see a man and recognise it's a different skin
There maybe a problem in the world but that isn't him

Yes, I like this.

Quote You maybe able to list where the difference is 
But on a biological level there's no differences 

#facts.

Quote The racists in the media are always the working classes
But is it not them that are working past this

Fair point. Guess we can call it stupidity and shortsightedness, no?

Quote It is not them that demonise a man of a different colour 
Is it not them that are working with a man of different colour 
Is it not them that go to the pub with a man of a different colour 
Is it not them that see him not the man of a different colour

I liked this section as it is a very strong and bold (yet often true) statement. The only gripe I have with it is that it's employed a bit too soon in the verse. I think that if you put this at the near end the impact would have been a lot stronger!
 
Quote Medieval Islam was the centre of mathematics 
But we'd rather highlight a few fanatical extremist antics 
We'd not celebrate Islam and what it gave to us
But vilify it for the few and what they take from us 

Flow of the first bar is bonkers and once again you're stating truth.

Quote If a man of colour crashes a plane it's his race or religion 
If a white man does its because he's in a deep depression

And this is exactly the problem with the media coming back to the question you initially raised. Will education mean that practices like this will stop? I believe not. The influence of the media is insane and it seems that people actually like the fact that others think and interpret for them. A sore sight, indeed.

Quote There are lessons we should be learning from our history
Why we have the urge to kill each other is the real mystery 
Why can't we find some common ground 
Before we kill everyone and humanity bottoms out 

This is a deep rooted issue and the core of humanity. We have been violent since the stone ages and since then we became more creative in the violence. It's either passive aggression or cluster bombing the fuck out of a village.

Quote It's a problem now that we might be past the point of talking it out
We need to ignore the differences instead of pointing them out

And a strong finisher ending with a fact.

Overall: I think this was a great verse. The flow was stable throughout and you raised some fair points which I tried to answer from my perspective. I think that's where the strength in this verse really lies. Technically it is not amazing (filled with insane metaphors, schemes and multi's) but what it lacks there, it compensates by making one think. So, yeah. I liked this a lot.
#Bananas

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