Open Mic: Japanese Whiskey |
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SELF ACTIVATE 
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Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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 Topic: Japanese WhiskeyPosted: 14 May 2018 at 4:58pm |
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I sit back and wait for what comes next
So ahead of my time I sent my future a text Like "Congratulation on our mutual success" I'm unusual, but blessed, skipped the cubicals and desk Cos a corner office view is less beautiful when stressed I'm not suitable in suits unless I'm suiting up for death At a funeral in jest with a tulip on my vest Being rude to all the guest like .. "Do you think he's really dead? Cos he owes me $20 bucks and I could use it on the gas." I'm assuming I'm amusing but I'm truly just an ass Don't pursue me cos I'm fast In the backseat of an Uber with a floosie and a flask Getting boozy is the task then her booty's gettin smashed "I like boobies I can grab." yeah she bad and fuckin boujee But she used me for some cash, fuck a groupie, do the dash Blast the toolie at a rat, don't confuse me wit a crab When u Fukushima sushi and ya coochie's on the rag You like Pookie in New Jack while I'm Nino quick as Neo Dodgin bullets zoomin past ... Bitch you Nemo with an ego gettin chewed up like a snack "Spit that pinot in a glass" cos she rather drink some whisky And get frisky in my lap ...I'm a billion dollar mac With a sick apartment pad, til I get up from my nap In the middle of the trap with a mattress that's on flat Gettin action from an actress that so happens to be fat! "Now tell me what I lack..." "Man, ur muthafukin wack!" "A fact." . . . (Damn) "Nother round, please." Edited by SELF ACTIVATE - 14 May 2018 at 5:05pm |
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Rutter knows best
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Joined: 15 March 2014 Location: Manny hood Status: Offline Points: 4529 Crew: EMPIRE  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-12-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Posted: 14 May 2018 at 5:27pm |
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Dope as always bro.
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#bananas
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SELF ACTIVATE
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Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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Posted: 14 May 2018 at 6:27pm |
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Appreciate that, Rutt
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Lord Puente
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Posted: 14 May 2018 at 10:30pm |
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Your internals and end rhymes are beyond great. I wouldn’t even point this out to other people normally, but for someone of your skill I would. The only thing that bugged me was that it you shoulda had a smoother transition when you switch the end rhyme for gas on the 20 bucks line. If you would have put transition rhymes in play for that area, then sheesh this woulda been godly on the technical stand point.
And actually there was one more part that bugged me was the “But she used me for some cash” I think “some” should have been omitted and t would have made for a smoother read. Stand out line was the second part on this here quote “I'm unusual, but blessed, skipped the cubicals and desk Cos a corner office view is less beautiful when stressed” This wasn’t the most lyrical piece ever but god damn those rhymes were just so fresh smooth and constant. |
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iLL ScriptureZ
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Posted: 15 May 2018 at 1:29pm |
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Dope per usual. Still admiring your transitions are so seamless and the multis contributing value to the piece.
don't forget about us little guys that feed you lol
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SELF ACTIVATE
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Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1380 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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Posted: 19 May 2018 at 9:35pm |
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Lol thanks for the love family.
I'll hit your joints with some feed in a bit. |
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Endeavor
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Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle Joined: 03 April 2009 Location: Your kitchen Status: Offline Points: 10000102 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-4-0 Form: WWLWLW |
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Posted: 19 May 2018 at 9:49pm |
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Sorry, I missed this.
Them gas and pookie lines had me like 'mmmmmm.' As the others said, dope per usual. Flawless flows, transitions and spectacular display of bars. |
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#Bananas
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The Rap Daemon
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Posted: 26 May 2018 at 6:40am |
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This has that Hopsin vibe to it. It's a lot more cleaner verse than what he'd provide though (no random attempts at dissing famous rappers basically lmao).
Imagery was raw, and the rhymes were on point with a tremendous flow to the verse. I really enjoyed reading this. |
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Faggot
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CHAIN
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Posted: 28 May 2018 at 8:14am |
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Dope. This reminds me of the Hard on Hoes 2010 version of me.
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Elite
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Posted: 28 May 2018 at 6:56pm |
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yikes i havent read an OM in a minute but this shit was cold. this shit flowed like a killer battle verse. makes me want to up my pen game lmao. really tightly wound and sharp w the punchlines too. really enjoyed this
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SELF ACTIVATE
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Posted: 29 May 2018 at 5:38pm |
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Hahaha
Appreciate that fellas. I still owe a lot of you some feed. Just been busy lately, but I'll get to it soon as I can. I'm about to go dig through the 2010 archives. Lol. |
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Vellum
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Posted: 13 June 2018 at 4:16am |
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Loving the inners and multis the assonance and consonants etc.I also enjoy how concisely everything flows keep it up
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Vellum
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Posted: 13 June 2018 at 4:18am |
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Also dug the humorous nature of some of the lines and the imagery was also worth complimenting. Good job
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alicewonder
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Posted: 13 June 2018 at 7:02pm |
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I’m pretty late to this, I know, but this was a tremendous effort, Self.
You already know that I’m quite fond of your signature flow. And the consistent scheme is always entertaining when it’s incorporated so well - the stream of varying internals were a highlight of their own. Loved the alliterations like the “floosie and a flask” one as well. The Pookie/New Jack reference is probably my favourite one, not only because of its nostalgic value. Glad you shared this one! |
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