Open Mic: "Just another face in the crowd"
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Exoduzt View Drop Down
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    Posted: 19 February 2017 at 9:51pm

"Just another face in the crowd"

My Social cold demeanor really put the frost in my sails-
High School party invites musta got lost in the mail-
Or tossed in  tha' pail-  My confidence & I cautiously failed-
I wasn't Susan, Lip gloss on,  a boss with her nails-
I had taped rim glasses but  I was really bad in math-
A Social out cast so I never raised my hand in class-
The saddest fact, is my home life wasn't any different-
It was "hey kid do the fuckin' dishes & make sure they glisten"-
With my pureness missing, I just needed someone to talk to-
A different school without the fools,  seperate halls to walk through-
A couple times I thought maybe I should end my life-
 I just needed companionship but no friend in sight-
I guess I'm less than liked, this thought is why I have no rest at night-
I'm nothing at home or school, sucks I had to learn that lesson twice-
I started lashing out as my counselors said I wasn't acting right-
Died my hair black, stopped eating,  my lack of appetite-
A tragic sight, I died on the inside plus  I look like the after life-
Within my mind I started thinking of horrible fierce things-
I got Satanic scripture tattoo's with multiple piercings-
Fuck their pointing,  I wish I could hit these bitches till they get whip lash-
So I listen to death metal, practicing different types of witchcraft-
Voodoo dolls with the pins in em mixed with satanic rituals-
I wont stop until they feel my pain & the whole planets miserable-
Your all considered lambs to me but who do I choose for the slaughter-
I'll be the ruthless bombarder as you pawns call me Luciphers daughter-
The truth is I'm smarter, than you thought I was so go tell a friend-
I'm the anti christ, its  a frantic sight when I raise hell again-
Everyone ignored me and I wished that life would just stop it-
Today I walk through the halls with this knife in my pocket-
Till I found Susan at her locker and shoved it right in her socket-
She screamed as she laid on the ground, blood sprayin' around-
Thats what you get for thinking I'm just another face in the crowd!-

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Jaz-Cat View Drop Down
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 Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Jaz-Cat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 February 2017 at 8:11pm
Ol' school cat in da house, Exoduzt that was dope

I see you focusin' on ya rhyme schemes, combination that caused da flow. To be honest wit ya, that verse you put up would have been on da platinum of rhyme schemes 'em wack jottaz should learn from. Keep it up, just spreading ma knowledge.

Respect Exoduzt, it means I mostly respect the pen, lyricism and bars.

Old-school cat bouncin' out. One love
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alicewonder View Drop Down
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Form: WWLNN 		Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote alicewonder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 February 2017 at 2:15am
The scheme and consistency thereof was the highlight to me. I like your take on the picture, I just didn't find it overly original or creative. But that's not to say that this wasn't an enjoyable read. Some of the lines were very vividly depicted, while some just 'described' the scenery. The 'socket' line is one example of that. I thoroughly liked your closing line though, and the way you brought it back to the picture. Nice work overall. 
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DressToKill View Drop Down
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Form: LLWWWL 		Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote DressToKill Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 February 2017 at 2:58am
Nice twist dude, you set the story up nicely. I really like when she started to turn, I felt like you articulated that transition really well. Really well done bro
The original comeback kid
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Exoduzt View Drop Down
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Form: WWWWWW 		Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Exoduzt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 February 2017 at 4:00pm
thanks for the feed everyone

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iLL ScriptureZ View Drop Down
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Form: LWWLWW 		Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote iLL ScriptureZ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 February 2017 at 5:16pm
I died on the inside plus  I look like the after life
This shit right here was pure flame! That line, to me, really embodied the whole concept on many levels. A person, just beaten down mentally & emotionally (it didn't indicate if there was any physical) to the point of which we dig to our animal roots. In a psychological way in order to feel "alive" again she stabbed that biddy in the eye. To prove a point, not to only those people but herself. As twisted as that sounds. Dope work here per usual bruh.
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Exoduzt View Drop Down
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Form: WWWWWW 		Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Exoduzt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 February 2017 at 12:44pm
good looking out ill scriptz

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Brotha Goose View Drop Down
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Form: LWLWLL 		Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Brotha Goose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 March 2017 at 1:01am
Exo!!! This shit was fire my dude!!
I really like the shorter line style you
used in this verse(at least shorter than
what I'm used to seeing coming from you),
it makes for a much crisper flow imo.

Your opening set was dope fam...

"My Social cold demeanor really put the frost in my sails-

High School party invites musta got lost in the mail-

Or tossed in tha' pail- My confidence & I cautiously failed-

I wasn't Susan, Lip gloss on, a boss with her nails-

I had taped rim glasses but I was really bad in math-

A Social out cast so I never raised my hand in class-" -Internals and multis on point, FIRE!!!

THEN...

"Your all considered lambs to me but who do I choose for the slaughter-

I'll be the ruthless bombarder as you pawns call me Luciphers daughter-" -Dope as hell fam!

Another great read Exo!!
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