Open Mic: Knife Man D d d daaa |
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Alone2Rome
Newbie Joined: 23 May 2019 Location: Lonon Status: Offline Points: 5 |
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Posted: 23 May 2019 at 11:29pm |
So this is my life theres no get out clause,
Alien born two headed beast with knives for paws, Or hands? Call em whatever there so sore, Bathing in blood collapsed on dis cold floor, One heads telling the other to kill, And the other ones telling the other to chill, They can feel defeat but its hard to walk with knives for feet, Why knives? Why create me and give me this life! WHY! |
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45 Leave An Mc Running Home!
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Short n sweet this,quite deep too in a abstracted sort of way,i got visions of the two
heads being a ying n yang scenario,(one saying do it,the other saying think about it), and the knifes for digits/appendages like man's can't sleep or live without carrying a blade is what i'm getting on reading here,i liked it,just wish there was more of it really, because you only skimmed the surface of where this piece could of gone or state,still a real nice read,and if you really wanted to make this pop,try throwing in some multi's, either word or syllable,or incorporating a inner rhyme scheme would of made this stand up and out at a reader,enjoyable read..peace. |
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