Open Mic: [KOTM] Like Water [KOTM]

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Neek View Drop Down
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    Posted: 09 May 2017 at 5:42pm


the last breed of many one of a kinds
lived a hundred lives before the Hun arrived
highlander, lone survivor, cultured swine
despise self, but felt hate for them, multiplied.
I hunt tyrants, liars, thieves - falsified as all divine
revolted by, the thought that i'm, only trife
til I heard of a tribe whose purpose aligned

surprised - I dug further, uncovered murders
of men who deserved it, secret society insurance
the works of, millennia, similiar to my own burdens
S.W.O.R.D.. Social Warriors Of Righteous Deeds
sits right with me, inscribed the creed, id like to meet.

they laid up in the himalayas, segregated
I entered the reservation, hoping to be initiated
introductions became litigation, incentive basis?

economics, the plot is - condemning communism
China to become a problem for 'em, clock it tickin
whats my involvement? I get the hollywood ticket
can't label a country as rotten and viscious
if 1 of their own is loved as holidays and christmas
Bruce Lee gets a bodybag before vietnam is finished
thats my calculated mission, so im california livin'

followed him, never for long, just momentary visits
slowly showing characterics of a growing sickness
bound for Hong Kong, I was going on offensive
routine to the dentist, slipped syanide in syringes
later that night, at 9:59, pronounced dead in minutes

I finished my task, restored order to the worlds interest
been sword ever since, and ive been sworn to defend it.

#Bananas
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SELF ACTIVATE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 May 2017 at 6:16pm
I don't want to break all the entries down, because I'll have to give an opinionated synopsis of each one anyway when the winner is decided. BUT ... BUT ...BUBUBUBUT ... this shit here

Quote economics, the plot is - condemning communism
China to become a problem for 'em, clock it tickin
whats my involvement? I get the hollywood ticket
can't label a country as rotten and viscious
if 1 of their own is loved as holidays and christmas
Bruce Lee gets a bodybag before vietnam is finished
thats my calculated mission, so im california livin'

followed him, never for long, just momentary visits
slowly showing characterics of a growing sickness
bound for Hong Kong, I was going on offensive
routine to the dentist, slipped syanide in syringes
later that night, at 9:59, pronounced dead in minutes

I finished my task, restored order to the worlds interest
been sword ever since, and ive been sworn to defend it.


^ Bodybag. Cause of death:187.

Please, let us all bow our heads and close our eyes in a moment of silence.


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Lord Puente View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Lord Puente Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 May 2017 at 7:00pm
this was dope as fuck man.
 
that opener first off was raw as hell:
 
"the last breed of many one of a kinds
lived a hundred lives before the Hun arrived"
 
its a quick detailed description of the person.  a lot of infor in 2 lines
 
this is going to have too many quotables, lol cuz this was dope too
 
"I hunt tyrants, liars, thieves - falsified as all divine
revolted by, the thought that i'm, only trife
til I heard of a tribe whose purpose aligned"
 
I like the wording of that, really smooth read.
 
"S.W.O.R.D.. Social Warriors Of Righteous Deeds
sits right with me, inscribed the creed, id like to meet."
 
we getting to the meat now.
 
this was fire right here
 
"followed him, never for long, just momentary visits
slowly showing characterics of a growing sickness
bound for Hong Kong, I was going on offensive
routine to the dentist, slipped syanide in syringes
later that night, at 9:59, pronounced dead in minutes"
 
the flow and schemes there with heavy content. its an elaborate story of the mission in just 5 bars. best 5 bars of the whole thing imo.
 
and then you just have a raw ass fucking closer saying you made it into the squad.
 
"I finished my task, restored order to the worlds interest
been sword ever since, and ive been sworn to defend it."
 
ok, nvm, those were my 2 fav bars, I lied earlier. it just rolls off the tongue. nice job here man.
 
overall this was a solid entry into the kotm, im glad to see you competing! Guess ima have to get to writing, I cant have you being the only one reppin the squad.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Jimmy2Dope Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 May 2017 at 6:04pm
Originally posted by Neek Neek wrote:



the last breed of many one of a kinds
lived a hundred lives before the Hun arrived
highlander, lone survivor, cultured swine
despise self, but felt hate for them, multiplied.
I hunt tyrants, liars, thieves - falsified as all divine
revolted by, the thought that i'm, only trife
til I heard of a tribe whose purpose aligned

surprised - I dug further, uncovered murders
of men who deserved it, secret society insurance
the works of, millennia, similiar to my own burdens
S.W.O.R.D.. Social Warriors Of Righteous Deeds
sits right with me, inscribed the creed, id like to meet.

they laid up in the himalayas, segregated
I entered the reservation, hoping to be initiated
introductions became litigation, incentive basis?

economics, the plot is - condemning communism
China to become a problem for 'em, clock it tickin
whats my involvement? I get the hollywood ticket
can't label a country as rotten and viscious
if 1 of their own is loved as holidays and christmas
Bruce Lee gets a bodybag before vietnam is finished
thats my calculated mission, so im california livin'

followed him, never for long, just momentary visits
slowly showing characterics of a growing sickness
bound for Hong Kong, I was going on offensive
routine to the dentist, slipped syanide in syringes
later that night, at 9:59, pronounced dead in minutes

I finished my task, restored order to the worlds interest
been sword ever since, and ive been sworn to defend it.



Completely solid rhyme scheme, with a solid grip on the story. Kept me interested the whole time, while still packing a punch with the delivery.
Overall an awesome piece, good job.   
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