Audio Mic: Lies ft. Ronnjay

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The Rap Daemon View Drop Down
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    Posted: 13 March 2018 at 2:23pm
Yeah, TUBE code still not working.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V91bFrS36JY&t=2s

(VERSE 1: Me)

Been crying myself to sleep, I try to suggest
That my life is a blessing and in time it will get
Better 'coz I'm worth it like wine is I guess
But it's all a dream, fake views, damn I'm 'lying' in bed
If I told you I was fine you'd believe it
'Coz these drugs got me high you can see it
Suicide bomber I'mma die for this religion
'Coz me at the top's a fucking lie which I'm preaching
You can decline that I'm in a rainstorm
And say I'm shining, and I'll be grateful
I appreciate all your support
But you're just co-'signing' what is fake 'form'
So how can I play the 'good one' and apply the signature?
Without this ink going haywire then stiffen up
With lies all over you've seen what I administer
I'm nothing in this game but wild and sinister


(Hook)

(VERSE 2: Ronnjay)

Should I be sincere? I've tried, but it's useless far as I know
She's been fed too many lies, and now the truth is hard to swallow
I didn't mean to bruise her heart at all, though
She was the one that caught my eye, yet now her movement's hard to follow
With the right personality, I'd be a valiant knight fighting so gallantly
Against any dragon or giant trying to challenge me! I'd die in reality
But in my mind, I'd stab 'em multiple times and watch 'em suffer a violent fatality
For this gal to see, so I used a flawed gimmick 'stead of being authenticl
It was all a false image! Still, I hung it up right in the gallery
I coulda relied on my talent, but you wanna know why that's a fallacy?
Cause being a rapper's invalid unless you're the one with the highest salary
So I thought that I could impress her by playing a wannabe when honesty was all that it took
Said that I lived in the South in my own house, and she wanted to look
She found out I was an overgrown male staying with my mom, which told its own tale like an audiobook


(Hook)

(OUTRO: Alternating turns)

Don't just try to trace me! Get chasing me cause I need someone to save me from this make belief
Until I end up breaking free and all the ones who had faith in me can finally breathe a sigh of great relief
You can be my best hit when I'm scoring empty strikes cause I'm telling a lie? Story of my life
And you know that morals are merely more rules to defy, so I'd be telling a lie if I said I never told a story in my life
I don't have any feelings, but I need a blessing today, so I need a grasp on my love cause mine is empty and fake
In a world driven by hate, we all can fricken relate! Can't watch our lovers suffer another fucking miserable fate
Feel like I'm cracking inside of my own casket and dammit! I put all my eggs into one basket
But we both told the truth, so it's time to bury the hatchet! First, we'll start with our loved ones, and then *track fades out*
Faggot
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Titu View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Titu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 April 2018 at 12:01pm
Your flow needs some work, bro. Stick to 90-100 bpm beats till you get it down. Write over the beats. Dont write and then try to force it on an instrumenta. If you need help with anything in specific, leme know. 
Where  are you from btw? 
Fuck That Fat smelly cunt Donald Trump, a racist asshole who is fucked in the head.

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The Rap Daemon View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote The Rap Daemon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 June 2018 at 12:25am
London bro' I'm new to tracks so I'm learning as I go...

Sorry for this time of reply but I took time to get myself used to counting the beat to write bars that fit because I knew it was an issue.

This was just my first wave of giving it a go so I should be able to address flow for my next release whenever that may be.

Thanks for the feed', I saw it back then so apologies for only getting back now, it was greatly appreciated and I definitely took it seriously.
Faggot
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote D.Von Doom Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 June 2018 at 11:40pm
The content is there and the lyrics are there. Delievery and finding that pocket is what I would work on. Cutting some words out to fit the pocket is a reality in audio bro. Unless you royce da 5'9 it and make the next bar start with the end rhyme. Just keep going bro. Experience is the best teacher
I can only fall off in space...
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Neek Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 June 2018 at 8:29am
yeah this shit was alright. the beat was dope to me.. I wasnt over the moon about the vocal sample.


I liked that you attempted to use pauses to break up some of your lines, in particular the "cause..." one. I liked how you meshed grateful and rainstorm. I did find that it felt robotic at points (I get the songs kinda old-ish) but thatll smooth out over time.


your buddy has a cool audible sound. I think hed benefit greatly from a different style as far as flow and rhyme scheme go. I found that he was forcing a certain pattern, but if he broke it up or even switched it up.. hed be wild.


anyway my two abes for the day.
#Bananas
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