Open Mic: Life's a Bitch

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D-NoS View Drop Down
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    Posted: 01 November 2017 at 8:29pm
In school all I did was smoke weed
after school all I did was smoke weed
I didn't study.. I was too busy 
listening to Dre, Snoop, and Slim Shady

when I turned 16 left school smoked weed
worked for penny's in a dusty factory
regrinding plastics like PVC
think in a week I took home 70..

fast forward 2017
29 apparently.. I still feel 20 
except I'm writing again, I stopped at 13
in 6 years thats how old MY Boy will be

Yea we get welfare in this country 
but that kinda money isn't helpful to me
so I look for work but its not easy
when you ain't got a single fucking GCSE

Anyway I got a job canvassing naturally
talking shit down a phone high as can be
but that type of job ain't stable I wasn't able
to guarantee food on the table worry took over me

Luckily I ain't doing that anymore 
got a new job now and it ain't knocking doors
I guess you could call me a fencer(?) 
Generally I labor I'll be doing it all year

So as you can see.. I'm all grown up now
not a teen in the Hoodie category, 
still wear one tho because occasionally
the heavens open up and it rains on me

I don't wanna do this for fortune or fame
that kinda drain will rot your brain 
turn you insane leave ya soul stained
leave you a big hole feeling only pain such a shame

So I got bored writing OM's 
and even more getting the same feeds on them
took my fists to the field for a swing
turns out punches ain't even landing

An I ain't even intelligent enough 
to come up with some stuff more intelligible 
than a grunt getting rough or pigs fighting in mud 
fuck it life's a bitch! ...now wheres my gun...?

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Bazooka bastard Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2017 at 2:17am
How long does it take you to write something this long?
I've read a few bits you've written and it always seems rushed n that. It was like a stream of consciousness diary kind of piece. Props on getting a new job, shit time of year to be fencing tho int it?

An I ain't even intelligent enough 
to come up with some stuff more intelligible - this was class haha respect
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote D-NoS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2017 at 6:34pm
Cheers man Smile 

Yeah wrong time of year to be working outside lol

Took a few hours I guess, I took a break or two naturally. I do edit my stuff, it wasn't a freestyle or anything but yeah, I had some thoughts and jotted them down. Which is weird for me because my shits usually all over the place.

Thanks for reading and even more for feeding! Thumbs Up
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote spume corrupt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2017 at 9:36pm
Oooops there it is
That's what I'm talking about brother
I really dig that you took some of the advice/encouragement you have been given recently and used it well
Even a quick glance was evident you had something good
On reading was the proof.....Really stepped to it here main
Well done

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote spume corrupt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2017 at 9:48pm
Just re read this D

You fucking nailed it
Shit like the hoodie and it raining heavens....That shit just seemed effortless and natural
Every set and pretty much every line felt relevant to you and so doing painted a clear picture
You based this piece on yourself and for the first time ever you found a dope subject to write about!
LOOK @ THE ABOVE SENTENCE
Keep this up now bro

I think you can take this to the next level....No more rushed out for the sake of it sshit

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote D-NoS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2017 at 10:03pm
Spume my man, you are TOO kind. 

Props to you brother and thanks for feeding Thumbs Up
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2017 at 11:26pm
Yep this was a big step up from your previous pieces,i liked the window you gave
me here to catch a glimpse into your life,i thought you did well on the rhyming front
also,the contents had substance because it felt like a heart on sleeve verse whilst
reading,i thought the then and now approach was nice,(it's always good to read a
back story as it adds depth) like here,your defiantly on the right track with this piece,keep it up it was a nice read..peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,before you can make an entrance".
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote DressToKill Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 November 2017 at 1:41am
Hey dude,

This had moments of topical niceness, I genuinely felt intrigued to read more. My only gripe lyrically is the simplicity of your rhymes, if I were you I'd be making a point to learn two new words a day. Also I'd look at one of the multisyllable rhyme tutorials here because it'll help your flow and complexity out big time. Also don't stress about text battling lol I started years ago when LA was in its hypothetical prime and I got thrashed around but I learned and elevated and became text champ. Basically if it can happen to me it can happen to you

Stay up, read those fucking tutorials and elevate
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote D-NoS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 November 2017 at 7:34pm
Thanks G's Hug
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