Open Mic: locked away |
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Agent Orange
Newbie Joined: 02 September 2017 Location: BC, Canada Status: Offline Points: 4 |
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Posted: 02 September 2017 at 5:51am |
I was locked away for a lot of days,
Forgot God, and my honest ways, Thought I was on top, but I had lost my faith.. you gotta get paid, the cops didn't understand how I operate fuck the police, why cooperate got done for three, when I got locked away, I learned a lot that day.. Jail changed me, well, who I am today it made me, People thought I was wasting.. |
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It's just me against the world..
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Short and sweet read that came off as a keystyle to me,I liked the ying and yang
scenario here,(good/bad,jail/time,police/crime),was good as comparisons go,i also liked the overall theme too,although not a totally orignal in content you did bring a different slant as such to this subject matter,it hard to draw a true opinion here via the length of this piece,but i feel a few inner rhymes or multi's would help no ends,as it felt mono or flat on reading and these elements would make it stand up and out to a reader,still a quick and decent read overall,just a little to short to go in depth at this stage..peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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iLL ScriptureZ
Standard Member Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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Not bad, the potential is really there. It was short as hell but I thought it actually was constructed pretty straight to the point. Wish there was more.
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