Open Mic: Look at us

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anonymiss9 View Drop Down

Joined: 30 June 2019
Status: Offline
Points: 6
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    Posted: 30 June 2019 at 7:12am
Look at us
Look how far we’ve come
Greviences.. we’ve had some

Some fuckin amount not none
Until suddenly we had to stun
In other words our gun
with our silencers attached
No one can here u scream
Ull be heavy patched

It’s not our fault every month we shift a tonne
Ur better jumping on board & taking from no1
Yes us
Trust me if u don’t you’ll be our next buzz

Wee line we’ll take here n there then we fuckin scare
Bold yin u couldn’t prepare
I’m fuckin nuts I’m rare
To me ur a sheep
And I’m a bear

To all yous new kids on the block
who think they qualify as gangsters cos they sell the rock
Ur a cunt I’d easily block
Against u I’d let off my glock
Ur a kiddon a carboard a fuckin wannabe a cock

Soon ull be crowns witness standing in the dock
Ur life span is now a ticking clock
That I control
Unless u serve a certain role
I’ll let u rot in jail with no chance of parole
Ur family will never get aff the dole

Yous are the sort of cunts who sell the odd bag a gear
N actually think cunts fear
Hal u ya numpty here
Let me be sincere
I think u should lay off the gear
N start to realise
Who’s fuckin boss
don’t make the mistake against me n cross
As it’s only ur family who’ll suffer loss
I’m heavy fucked up im a lost cause
I’m that sorta cunt that in a situation I’ll either solve or cause
N wen I start poppin I don’t pause

Let me ask ..have u got the tattoo
The tattoo that makes u part of our crew
Ride or die
I’ll give u a constant supply
As long as u never die
only multiply

Good friends can’t be bought
Old skool skills can’t be taught
Your either with us
Or your not

if ur not ur a bam by the 5 0 you’ll be caught
You’ll be banged up 23hours a day
With a one hour window selling slot

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Crimson Juice View Drop Down
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Joined: 20 December 2015
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 July 2019 at 5:58pm
OK ive now read all the joints you've dropped of late, so i'll feed them all in one
post as their very similar in comparison,the over riding theme is thug/gangsta,
a subject which i really don't enjoy reading or listening too on the norm, (it's to
samey and repetitive), i can see you enjoy writing but try to be original with the
subject matter, like writing about a WW2 pilot or a slave ship ect ect, push your-
self and come out of your comfort zone, it's the creativity that helps in progres-
sion of a writer or spitter/Rapper, because deeper subject tends to bring other
things to the table, like details/imagery, and better rhyme schemes also, now
with the verses you've e dropped of late, you tend to rhyme the last word on each
line, (try throwing in an inner rhyme scheme or try adding more multi words that
rhyme together, syllables/vowels), this will help to lift your pieces up and out to
a reader, because as it stands now your rhymes are basic, don't get me twisted,
simplicity is a good thing, it helps keep a rhyme moving along whilst keeping a
flow, but it can also make a verse become static also, hit the elevation centre
for more tips, all in all a good start from a new member..peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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