Forum LockedVenomous vs Asylum: Lynxx Vs. Mackie

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Scotty32 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 24 September 2007 at 2:38pm
Venomous: Lynxx
Asylum: Mackie

26 Lines Each
Deadline = 7th October
Be There Or Be Square Like Spongebobs Pants
Blind Drops to me

Topic: Soldier In A War
Great and Glorious Supreme Presidential Leader of the People's Democratic Republic of LA
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote dalinquent Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 October 2007 at 10:41pm
Will send soon...wanna finish mine first
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kay B Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 October 2007 at 9:44am
Originally posted by dalinquent dalinquent wrote:

Will send soon...wanna finish mine first


And there was me thinking you'd send a half finished one
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Scotty32 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 October 2007 at 1:40pm
Mackie:

dey dey call dey call it warfare.. man, it ain fair,
dey dey dey call call it warfare.. bruv war ain fair.

trench mud sprays wen the bullits hit it, bullits slap the mud,
rifles pack sucha massive thud ringin in my ears like the hissin of a dud
wishin i cud run, i hold my gun tight - its my life line, told i gotta fight
many men lose their life, soon as they go over dat dirt - germs gotta snif'
picks em off like flys. morta attacks make earth splash into air.. this is warfare..
limbs littered round - lost dogtags wait to be found in the ground.. this is warfare..
this is warfare...
its a plague everyones catchin bullits - so we callin it the shots for short,
everyones coverd in miniscule red dots, n we fightin.. well im not so sure
id call it dying. bodys buried under bodys wit the mass grave's we sittin in,
stick a dead between my hed n the line of fire, got bullit proof vests made from skin,
freinds n family back home gettin blitzd n im over ere gettin shit.. no
im over ere gettin pickd apart by tic's n watchin men get shot in heart by migs,     
im havin hard a hard time workin out what it is thats worth this,
war is a extention of politics when politics dont work - in it, lives are worthliss...  

...i wonder how many partys wud be elected if the people saw the plight
...if people knew the true meanin of a fight... if they knew how life looks before you die..

war ain pretty,
a glorious death in the name of ya nation, yeah it sounds pretty
but what im seein now is gritty, tarnishd that bullshit, now its straight shitty,
you shud see our hospitals, veterans screamin wit missin limbs
nurses are scared shitless they jus stick to singin hyms,
n everyother cunt is a born again christian... every man you kill - man it hurts
they still shootin shouting mein fuhrer long after they dead, i hear their words
germs bout fiddy feet away - mortas drop every minit, guns fire every secon, i can still hear what they say...
its impossible to sleep when you ain scared of the dark.. but ya fear every day
anyway its my time to go out the trench run over whatevers in between,
my feet slippin on blood n the dead, but i ain ever seen a field so serene


Lynxx:



Playin russian roulette, see em die.. you next,
stormin trenches n barbed wire, rushin two vets,
debri flys past my shoulder, bullets n shrapnel,
clap tools, homicide on home soil, clutch triggas, pull it n catch falls,
the left behind rot on the floor, amputation for feet n arms,
the sight of a man wastin n retreat alarms,
fight for survival, the sight of the rivals,
bloody n gore automatically exciting the rifles,
no mans land populated by magazined militia,
ganged guerillas, farewell to dead, the team'll miss ya,
propaganda puppets pullin on metal, a forced decision,
ammunition multiply deaths, add to cause attrition,
the subtract of life and the divide of peace,
fatal fate of fallen men, they die increased,
they lie in piece, all cos of governments that lie in speech,
the reduction of the fit, the clappin n rockets,
all to feed countries' power n fatten they pockets,
stop it, but it never will,
only once the worlds creatures are forever chill,
cold in the grave, hot hollows hit hastely,
i fall deaf in slow motion, tip missiles rip, wastin me,
am i seein the light as my existance falls dark,
or am i just another to walk the distant war path?
all as result of the hunger n greed,
that engulfs our world and our sons that'll bleed.....


Great and Glorious Supreme Presidential Leader of the People's Democratic Republic of LA
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote 2smooth Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 11:43am

aight... i'm not gonna do bar by bar here...

basically, i gotta VOTE: Mackie on this one...
 
he just had a more descriptive verse... the situation as he explained it seemed as if he drew the picture of what was goin' on... where as lynxx had a cool verse as well, it just wasn't as descriptive IMO...
to be perfectly fair tho, neither verse was done as well as they could have been...
 
ok battle...
 
1-0 mackie
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kay B Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 12:36pm
This was a preety one sided battle imo, though both verse's lacked something to make them dope....Macks just had more of a story to it like smooth said, his description wasn't amazing but out of the two i prefer it and there was more...I enjoyed reading macks verse more

Mack gmv...2-0
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote lynxx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 3:35pm
it doesnt have to be all descriptive....its not Ur a soldier in a war....its jus soldier in a war....perspectives can be different...
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kay B Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 4:02pm
Topicals NEED description you NEED to capture the reader eye and have them feel like there in the situation of the character (s)
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Mackie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2007 at 7:31pm
i think what he's trying to say is....

























































VOTE FOR ME PLEASE
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote dalinquent Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 October 2007 at 12:23pm
2-0 mack
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Mackie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 October 2007 at 1:13pm
Stern Smile
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote direct1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2008 at 2:31pm
to be honest i know this is an old battle but takin a look at it i would of said linx won that, because i liked his flow his creativity was good and it did give u an idea of what people went through and still go through without the trenches, macckies wqas a nice idea aswell and he did a good job but i'd have to say lynxx won.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Bolo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 June 2008 at 5:07pm
please don't dig up old threads man....
I am the one that knocks...
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