Open Mic: Man of Tomorrow |
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Sammy
Site Moderator Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2222 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW |
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Posted: 25 July 2022 at 2:15am |
Man of Tomorrow By: Sammy
Metropolis 3011 A.D.
Its been years since violence was vanquished a time where truth and justice constitute a pious position now a recluse...i drifted in quiet conviction hoping and praying somewhere... somehow...crime still exist. Then...
I suit up, not for power prestige...but in hours of needs as others cower and bend...to the power and plead a thousand defeats. in past they would shout for the League as eyes of profuse cries drew a sigh of relief smiles would cease. father time working his splendor friends, apprehended; blessing? well, now they’re in peace i’m showered in grief; the world is empty and vacant image parade in makeshifts lace with sentiments. maybe.. i was made to rule this baby blue orb through the ages arctic wind whispers silent cries, harboring hatred walking aimlessly...gone...all is gone or is taken i would ponder the days when Bruce and Robin were chasing lunatics through the roof then split; Gotham was crazy Flash was a character, lol, king of quips; that little shit! sure his foot-speed was fast...but not as quick as his wits
...a sudden twitch in the distance my attention was fixed super sense detecting movement through a blanket of mist..
"Miss" was an understatement, she was a product of legend neither Gogs nor Guardians would dare this Goddess descendant And its hard to imagine - in all her fiery Wonder Diana long for all the simple charms that life had to offer To call her “Wife”...i am honored...”Despite my iron facade... i solemnly swear to hold you....in highest regards..”
A surge of energy cleared the cob, complacency spun as i peered into the dark, prospect of chase has begun...
We were more than just Avengers, but a League of our own! breathing adversity and even as a team we would grow! Adrenaline pumping! cause we’re fighting for something!! IGNITING....collective fire as we fight the injustice!! Don’t give a fuck if its Darkseid or some pyro-kinetic!! we would rise against the vilest type, applying our gifts, but..
….BUT i knew it was nothing; its all just pretend as loneliness grabs a hold of us enthralled by the “when” appalled in the least moonwalking to past glories for some solace and sense of self-worth... cause i’m honestly spent but throughout the contemplation i would find myself whis per in g
“faster than speeding bullets leaping the tallest buildings...”
...now its leap of faith; a strand of hope i’d foolishly tugged.. heavy hearts are burden; hmm...so much for super strength, huh? tonight i rest my cape in peace and though my part isn’t certain just understand even a Superman needs to walk with a purpose Edited by Sammy - 25 July 2022 at 2:27am |
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rhetorical
Site Moderator Joined: 14 February 2014 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 807 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-0 Form: WWL |
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so bored today and a lot of time on my hand so i decided to stroll through the old site and boiiii im glad i did...
First off, how ya been fam? I hope life is treating kind my brother I really forgot how much i loved coming on here and reading my fams work. It sucks that there is so much talent on display here and so few eyes to see it. I love the switchups in your schemes and the complexity to it all. you dont conform to the normal style of writing you see on most sites and this is what really sets you apart. more enjoyable is simply the content. a super heros place in the world must be a lonely one. the inner turmoil just boils over and every word is felt. i really love reading these dark superhero/anti hero pieces. someone with all that strength and special gift simply pulled down to a human level ya know. . . im really glad i snuck in here to catch a new piece from you bro. thanks for sharing and again, hope all is well later bro
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Cuba
Senior Moderator Legendary Assassin Joined: 14 June 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 12327 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-22-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Really enjoyable read. Load of high class touches gave it a real tactile feel. I really liked the the "blanket of mist", as an example. You were quite cute at the start how you kind of framed it as a time that wasn't too dissimilar from the political time we sit in today, post truth world.
The only real thing I would say against it, which is just my personal preference really, is I like to see a narrative progress and story unfold. This felt like a reflection piece, i.e. superman standing at a point in time and looking back. I would've liked a greater balance between story and characterisation. Though I have no idea how you would've done it in this type of piece !!! Great drop man, love that you posted it here for those of us who check in now and again |
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Sammy
Site Moderator Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2222 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW |
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Enoch thanks bro. Always appreciate ur feedback. Now it’s ur turn to drop some fire!!! Need a new rhetoric piece in my life
Cuba, and a heartfelt thanks to u too bro!! I will get to feeding ur verses very soon. |
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