Topic ClosedOpen Mic: Newgod

 Post Reply Post Reply
Author
Newgod View Drop Down
Banned
Banned
Avatar

Joined: 02 April 2015
Status: Offline
Points: 22
Direct Link To This Post Topic: Newgod
    Posted: 02 April 2015 at 2:43pm
Hi Everyone I am Newgod
I write and sing rap songs not pro just for fun, I don't even take my rapping seriously
I used to post my work around facebook but my profile was deactivated recently
anyways I would share some of my rap songs lyrics here and you all can check them out, let me know what you think about them and what needs to be worked on or anything
 
so when I see couple of replies on this thread I would post more,
take care and keep smiling coz you look great that way
may god bless you
 live a long and wonderful life
Newgod
newgodoriginal@gmail.com
Back to Top
Newgod View Drop Down
Banned
Banned
Avatar

Joined: 02 April 2015
Status: Offline
Points: 22
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 April 2015 at 3:04pm
A short Song, named No Way Out from my album named 9 Lives emos are sadness, regret etc but the intensity is low, not really negative,

Track - No Way Out
Track 07
Album - 9 Lives

I lost my way and the maps don’t make any sense
Go down a new road but its just another dead end
There is No Way Out of this
No way out of here,
There is No Way Out of here
There is No Way Out.

After the Storm Passed, I am shattered, don’t know where it came From, but it wont be the Last, so I just have to go back and Collect,
The Pieces, Jesus it happened so Fast, I was not even fully recovered from the Past, everyone deserves a second chance to Correct,
Their mistakes, and I would do whatever it takes but its hard when people are watching you with a magnifying glass, just to Detect,
Your Flaws, but they wont stop there, they would even abuse the Laws just to get me in a legal mess, and if that don’t Affect,
Me emotionally they will take it to the next Level, want me to go to hell like the Devil, can’t let that hit me so I just smile and Deflect,
That, do good and it will Reflect back, wont Follow the path that makes me Hollow, coz I promised someone that I will Reject,
That, build a new armor and re check that, and every time this shit Overlaps, I just go back to the Maps and Select,
A new course, they want me to become like them, some fool with no Conscious, isn’t it Obvious they already tried everything to Infect,
Me, I only answer to God the Lord Almighty, and whoever you Might Be, you can **** off, if you don’t Respect me don’t Expect,
Me to be your Friend, coz I don’t fake things I don’t Pretend, and my relation with Emily and Nina are a different Subject,
I never tried to achieve Perfection, I want to be a better person and project a proper Reflection, coz I know no one can ever be Perfect,
All I am looking for….

I lost my way and the maps don’t make any sense
Go down a new road but its just another dead end
There is No Way Out of this
No way out of here,
There is No Way Out of here
There is No Way Out.

It hurts every time when it Ends, when Friends turn against me, but I guess I am used to this now coz I have seen this Same Scene,
Many times and its better than try to make things work by Bending my rules, just another Game Ending, and the end Screen,
Says “Play Again”, just as all this shit was for nothing, after all I did for you Nina you Scream that I am heartless and Mean,
Let switch Roles, let me be like you, too busy fulfilling my Goals and maybe you will understand the shit that I have Been,
Through, let me keep you Waiting, let me keep Hating you while I am Dating you, and still expect you to love me, you have Seen,
Nothing yet, I have not even started telling you the things that you did to me and all the shit that happened Between,
Us is now just a Fading memory, and the things that I am Facing now don’t really surprise me it feels like a Routine,
And I am Racing against time to find a cure to my problem but its like a disease that cannot be stopped that has no Vaccine,
And I cause more Damage than I can Manage and this Rage is making me lose my mind, as soon as someone starts a spark I react like Gasoline,
I got no emotions left and I forgot how it felt to be human I am lost and I feel dead inside like a Machine,
God I just….

I lost my way and the maps don’t make any sense
Go down a new road but its just another dead end
There is No Way Out of this
No way out of here,
There is No Way Out of here
There is No Way Out.
newgodoriginal@gmail.com
Back to Top
Newgod View Drop Down
Banned
Banned
Avatar

Joined: 02 April 2015
Status: Offline
Points: 22
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 April 2015 at 3:11pm
Guess this is not really an active forum,, anyways will come back to see if there is anything new,,
newgodoriginal@gmail.com
Back to Top
daydizzle89 View Drop Down
Superior Member
Superior Member


Joined: 23 July 2014
Status: Offline
Points: 3775

Text Rank: #15
Stats: 6-11-0
Form: LWWLLW
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 April 2015 at 3:16pm
So you posted this 30 minutes ago and your bitching its not getting feed? actually, you posted your verse 9 minutes ago and your spamming your own shit already? You a impatient motherfucker aren't you?
 
Anywho. There was little to no flow for some parts of this. You need to incorporate more multis, internals, vocabulary and fix your scheme. Content wise, this was minimal. I suggest you check out the elevation center brothaman
Back to Top
Rutter knows best View Drop Down
Senior Moderator
Senior Moderator
Avatar

Joined: 15 March 2014
Location: Manny hood
Status: Offline
Points: 4526
Crew: EMPIRE

Text Champ

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 44-12-0
Form: WWWWLW
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 April 2015 at 3:24pm
Read the rules, check the layout, feed some pieces....

And welcome.
#bananas
Back to Top
Naga View Drop Down
Groupie
Groupie
Avatar

Joined: 01 April 2015
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 51
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 April 2015 at 5:00pm
Yo newgod welcome to the fray, I can see you already have some experience under the belt and your verse reflects that. Although I think it probably flows a lot better through an audible rendition as there is a fair bit of enjambement leading me to break the flow when I read it (which is not your fault) btw. The topic is hard hitting, good themes that really bring out the core of what you're going for.
As for the chorus hook:

I lost my way and the maps don’t make any sense
Go down a new road but its just another dead end
There is No Way Out of this
No way out of here,
There is No Way Out of here
There is No Way Out.

I dig how you used maps as a metaphor, it's so relevant because everything nowadays is cleanly printed by some corporation, we barely get to interpret shit for ourselves, I also like how you emphasize the effect of dead ends, that feeling is a bitch and often brings great talents to get less recognition than warranted.
Your punches are also top quality, you lead on your lines for emphasis which demonstrates ability.

My criticism is gonna have to be about some of the rhyme scheme not adding up, for e.g. 'Expect' and 'Subject' have too much line space between to come together properly, but then again, that could be down to the decision of an audio playback.

Overall good rap, keep writing.
My presence speaks volumes before I say a word.
Mos Def

Back to Top
A-one AR Royalty View Drop Down
Banned
Banned


Joined: 19 February 2015
Status: Offline
Points: 123
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 April 2015 at 7:43pm
NewGod this was ok. Seems like work you built years ago. If you can let us see some of your up2date work. One pointer I can give is. Always keep count of how many words that you put in each bar. So once your ready to record it has a steady rhythm. Thanks for the effort. When you get a chance can you feed my next OM. Keep at it. The steady pace helps your evolution accelerate. AR
Back to Top
Newgod View Drop Down
Banned
Banned
Avatar

Joined: 02 April 2015
Status: Offline
Points: 22
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 April 2015 at 8:02am
Originally posted by daydizzle89 daydizzle89 wrote:

So you posted this 30 minutes ago and your bitching its not getting feed? actually, you posted your verse 9 minutes ago and your spamming your own shit already? You a impatient motherfucker aren't you?
 
Anywho. There was little to no flow for some parts of this. You need to incorporate more multis, internals, vocabulary and fix your scheme. Content wise, this was minimal. I suggest you check out the elevation center brothaman
 
well I don't mind speaking up my mind, and thanks for the suggestions, I don't really take my rapping seriously and I am not spamming my shit, spamming would be to create multiple threads with odd topics and posting things that don't make any sense and in my thread I am allowed to post multiple times say if I post 2 songs one after other there will be more than one post in my thread that are my own, so its all very within the framework
newgodoriginal@gmail.com
Back to Top
Newgod View Drop Down
Banned
Banned
Avatar

Joined: 02 April 2015
Status: Offline
Points: 22
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 April 2015 at 8:06am
Originally posted by Naga Naga wrote:

Yo newgod welcome to the fray, I can see you already have some experience under the belt and your verse reflects that. Although I think it probably flows a lot better through an audible rendition as there is a fair bit of enjambement leading me to break the flow when I read it (which is not your fault) btw. The topic is hard hitting, good themes that really bring out the core of what you're going for.
As for the chorus hook:

I lost my way and the maps don’t make any sense
Go down a new road but its just another dead end
There is No Way Out of this
No way out of here,
There is No Way Out of here
There is No Way Out.

I dig how you used maps as a metaphor, it's so relevant because everything nowadays is cleanly printed by some corporation, we barely get to interpret shit for ourselves, I also like how you emphasize the effect of dead ends, that feeling is a bitch and often brings great talents to get less recognition than warranted.
Your punches are also top quality, you lead on your lines for emphasis which demonstrates ability.

My criticism is gonna have to be about some of the rhyme scheme not adding up, for e.g. 'Expect' and 'Subject' have too much line space between to come together properly, but then again, that could be down to the decision of an audio playback.

Overall good rap, keep writing.
 
Thanks I am not pro and I don't really intend to go pro I don't even take my rapping seriously for me its just a way to express myself say things I don't really say and share some part of my life obviously all of it is not real, some part are imaginary
about my rhyming schemes I know its a bit odd to read, but I try to bring the rhyming words at the end of line the words that rhyme in the middle start with a capital letter, like Space, Face etc
 
newgodoriginal@gmail.com
Back to Top
Newgod View Drop Down
Banned
Banned
Avatar

Joined: 02 April 2015
Status: Offline
Points: 22
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 April 2015 at 8:10am
Originally posted by A-one AR Royalty A-one AR Royalty wrote:

NewGod this was ok. Seems like work you built years ago. If you can let us see some of your up2date work. One pointer I can give is. Always keep count of how many words that you put in each bar. So once your ready to record it has a steady rhythm. Thanks for the effort. When you get a chance can you feed my next OM. Keep at it. The steady pace helps your evolution accelerate. AR
 
well actually I don't really am some kinda hardcore rapper and all I mean I don't even know about all the rapping styles and all, I make songs and then sing them as I like, I sing different types of songs not only rap,
I just do this for fun and to invest my free time into something creative
newgodoriginal@gmail.com
Back to Top
Newgod View Drop Down
Banned
Banned
Avatar

Joined: 02 April 2015
Status: Offline
Points: 22
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 April 2015 at 8:14am
The base emos are sadness unable to move on, nothing to look up to beyond a dark sad part of life, hopeless etc basically all negative emos but not in a aggressive way,  

Track - Echo
Track 04
Album - 9 Lives

 I ran out of my home tonight coz I swear I heard Nina calling my Name,
but there was no one there it was just my mind playing a Game,
I burned down the whole house last night but woke up in the Same,
house this morning, is it the Pain? or am I really going Insane? coz I don’t want the dark days of my life to Repeat,
itself a million times, how did I end up here? don’t even remember where I was going, how long am I supposed to live like this? till i die?, till my fuel cells Deplete?,
I feel that I am living the same days from 5 years back, don’t Know why I feel I am still working on my album Blood and Snow, I thought those days were over why I can’t Delete,
That Day when you left me Nina, will that Day forever Stay in my life like a demon, how many times I have to fight the same war and Defeat,
Myself, and how many Times I have to use to same old Rhymes to tell you my Story, I just want this to end and Complete,
This Phase of my life, I see myself in the mirror and I don’t recognize my own Face, I don’t recognize this Place this Palace that I live in, never learned to Retreat,
So every time life resurrects my competitors and send them towards me I fight until there is no one left to Compete,
But how many times I have to Kill to save myself, its like a Drill that drills deeper into my heart, can’t just take a medicine Pill and forget about it, the level of hate and Mistreat,
That I face everyday is so High its higher than the space where space ships Fly, can’t take a walk on the Street,
Without making a hundred enemies, it feels like I am stuck in a video game, I am lost in the sea and I keep destroying this never ending Fleet,
Of warships, they keep coming wave after wave I don’t even know what I am fighting for, what happened to the things I Believed,
In, Most of them are Lost, whatever left Behind were not enough and they Remind me how my life used to be, I was Deceived,
By the ones whom I loved and trusted more than myself, I keep thinking about it everyday in every way, all the negative things that Received,
They piled up higher and higher, came down on my Tower and I could not stop it with all my Power, watched it crumble, everything that I ever Achieved,
Turned to dust, now all I am left with is a dead Zone I can feel that my Tone is getting more aggressive, can’t help with that I have been made to live with a curse, death and Diseased,
As if I mean nothing to this world, like I am a extinct word, not even counted among the living, a name in the list of the Deceased,
All I wish for…..

I want this to be over
Wish I can just move On
I want this to be over
Wish the night ends and I see the Dawn
I want this to be over
Wish I could be free but all I See
Is that I’m still living in a Echo
I’m living in a Echo
I’m living in a Echo.    
 
And what is the solution to this situation that I am in, I wish I Knew how to get Through, but the same Things,
Keeps on repeating its like I am speaking the same words to the same people in the same places, how can I break these Strings,
Coz I am Mixing up my present with my past, these memories are like a witch that Clings
On to me, every time I try Fixing up, it ends in a Mess, the same pain, trauma, drama, the Stress it Brings,
Me back to the place which I wanted to leave, travel a 1000 miles everyday but feels like I am in same room and the bird outside Sings,
The same Song, don’t know what I am doing Wrong, I have been trying to escape for so Long, but no one escapes the Rings,
Of hell, whether they are big or Not, don’t matter whatever they Got, don’t matter even if they are Kings,
Send a note to Ayesha but wrote love you Nina, these echoes are my prison and I feel I am Chained,
To it, can’t change the Fact, that it stays Intact, I thought I would make it out coz I Trained,
Myself to ignore it, but now I Doubt that, this is sucking the life Out of me, I am Drained,
Can deal with death but not with this fact that her love for me was never real it was just a Lie,
Coz with her I felt complete, needed nothing else to live, I was up in the Sky,
They say whatever happens, happens for a reason but I could never find the reason Why,
She became a total stranger, it’s an unsolved Mystery, and its History, if you would ask me I would Deny,
That I knew someone named Nina, and some wounds never Heal, you just have to learn to Deal with them, not that I never tried to Clarify,
I asked her a thousand questions a thousand times, but she would never even listen never Reply,
I am half and my other half is missing, out of all the things that I have Lost I miss you the Most, rules don’t Apply
To my life I wish if I could say one last word to you Nina all I want to say to you is Goodbye.
Coz I want to be free and

I want this to be over
Wish I can just move On
I want this to be over
Wish the night ends and I see the Dawn
I want this to be over
Wish I could be free but all I See
Is that I’m still living in a Echo
I’m living in a Echo
I’m living in a Echo.
newgodoriginal@gmail.com
Back to Top
Shankley View Drop Down
Superior Member
Superior Member
Avatar

Joined: 03 September 2013
Location: Leeds, England
Status: Offline
Points: 3368
Crew: Kratos Kind

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 37-43-1
Form: WNLWWL
Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 April 2015 at 5:05pm
Spam-fest is over...

It's one OM per OM thread.

Locked!
The Amount of Fucks given: Zero
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down