Open Mic: Normal, Just a Dream

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   I'm called a monster, only human in features, firstly
Murder's natural, perhaps I am a creature, earthly 
Not plastic-like fabrications giving this planet a massive facelift
Pampered lavish fake shit, I take the world, clean what's murky
The flow of life, I keep it sturdy, what morbid fantasy
Sees normality and order as a freakish turn B?
Let's get it straight, wait, not easy in an age accepting ways
Like, bisexuals, gays, gender change, that's second-nature
Second nature?! Feels normal, but clue's in the wretched name
I don't believe it firstly, doesn't come first so not really worthy 
So as I'm cutting up some dumb fuck who thinks sleeping firmly 
Pressed against the same sex is a way of life as they plead n scream for mercy 
I can't be more wrong than what they do, feeling perky
I mean well-rounded, sane, correct, 2 wrongs you won't see deter me
No good difference leave them be to denaturalise this species
Shouldn't feel alienated committing harsh realities I j's' deeply
Condone, and so what if I kill a fake bitch, and big embrace it?
Are blood-curdling sights that sick to face? Bullshit, it's the same thing 
As looking at them live, at its least no different waking
To find their body dead, both always seem so sick n tasteless
Maybe 'stead of stabbing, asphyxiation's more appropriate 
A breath of air as their throats are ringed as I hear them alarming...
Huh?Alarm clock!

What the fuck? Oh, just a dream 
Another average dream all in my head it seems
Don't worry, my head ain't topped with insanity 
In this twisted world I'm the closest thing to normality
Natural? I don't think any human knows of any way in
For that, at least not in this generation
No plan to really go all macho killer, with an alien theme of
Order, that doesn't compute, just seems off
Could be the plastic cups messing with me or at least the cheap shots
I had last night, or an extra product of my head now I'm all bleach blonde."

Fucking normal, life has no meaning 
So really, that word is just demeaning 
You'll never find normal naturally, so spare me
Only way you'll show my naked eyes something even vague define...
What normal is, is a man-made sentence of words in a dictionary.   

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The Rap Daemon Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Standard Member Joined: 05 August 2015 Location: Purgatory Status: Offline Points: 1108 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-14-0 Form: LWLWWL	Post Options Post Reply Quote The Rap Daemon Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Topic: Normal, Just a Dream Posted: 18 August 2018 at 1:49pm
	I'm called a monster, only human in features, firstly Murder's natural, perhaps I am a creature, earthly Not plastic-like fabrications giving this planet a massive facelift Pampered lavish fake shit, I take the world, clean what's murky The flow of life, I keep it sturdy, what morbid fantasy Sees normality and order as a freakish turn B? Let's get it straight, wait, not easy in an age accepting ways Like, bisexuals, gays, gender change, that's second-nature Second nature?! Feels normal, but clue's in the wretched name I don't believe it firstly, doesn't come first so not really worthy So as I'm cutting up some dumb fuck who thinks sleeping firmly Pressed against the same sex is a way of life as they plead n scream for mercy I can't be more wrong than what they do, feeling perky I mean well-rounded, sane, correct, 2 wrongs you won't see deter me No good difference leave them be to denaturalise this species Shouldn't feel alienated committing harsh realities I j's' deeply Condone, and so what if I kill a fake bitch, and big embrace it? Are blood-curdling sights that sick to face? Bullshit, it's the same thing As looking at them live, at its least no different waking To find their body dead, both always seem so sick n tasteless Maybe 'stead of stabbing, asphyxiation's more appropriate A breath of air as their throats are ringed as I hear them alarming... Huh?Alarm clock! What the fuck? Oh, just a dream Another average dream all in my head it seems Don't worry, my head ain't topped with insanity In this twisted world I'm the closest thing to normality Natural? I don't think any human knows of any way in For that, at least not in this generation No plan to really go all macho killer, with an alien theme of Order, that doesn't compute, just seems off Could be the plastic cups messing with me or at least the cheap shots I had last night, or an extra product of my head now I'm all bleach blonde." Fucking normal, life has no meaning So really, that word is just demeaning You'll never find normal naturally, so spare me Only way you'll show my naked eyes something even vague define... What normal is, is a man-made sentence of words in a dictionary.
	Faggot

Nigma Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Joined: 25 March 2013 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 4077 Crew: Elision	Post Options Post Reply Quote Nigma Report Post Likes(1) Quote Reply Posted: 18 August 2018 at 4:42pm
	Just read this quick before heading out to a softball tourney, you're mechanics have really grown. Ludos to that. I like the way you structured this as well. Next thing to work on is clarity of your message. At times I wasn't sure the point you were trying to make, whether you were supportive or not. Some lines were nice, worded as you would say them in real life. Other lines were worded unnaturally, forced to fit in. Those lines are the one you need to work on polishing. Overall I was pretty impressed with this, good stuff brew.


Crimson Juice Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote Crimson Juice Report Post Likes(1) Quote Reply Posted: 19 August 2018 at 9:20pm
	Nice verse here TRD,I also agree with Nigma as i feel he nailed it via his feedback, so i really dont have a lot to offer now in the way of improvements,but what i can offer is what i liked about this piece,i thought your wording was nice (fabrication/ asphyxiation) to hash out but a few,perhaps if you had turned them into multi's within the same bar,as well as the other words,it would of truly lifted this piece up and out at a reader,nice work man,enjoyable read..peace.
	"You need to learn how to make an exit, before you can dare make an entrance".

Dave Infinite Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Banned Joined: 14 August 2018 Location: CA Status: Offline Points: 153	Post Options Post Reply Quote Dave Infinite Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 20 August 2018 at 12:57am
	I am new here, but with that being said, I feel this is the best piece I have seen from you. I thought this was a smooth read from start to finish. I'm called a monster, only human in features, firstly Murder's natural, perhaps I am a creature, earthly Not plastic-like fabrications giving this planet a massive facelift Pampered lavish fake shit, I take the world, clean what's murky No plan to really go all macho killer, with an alien theme of Order, that doesn't compute, just seems off Could be the plastic cups messing with me or at least the cheap shots I had last night, or an extra product of my head now I'm all bleach blonde." According to Nigma you have grown so keep polishing the skills my dude...