Open Mic: Not A Day Goes By (Three 16's) |
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Freeda5thDawg
Standard Member Joined: 19 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1324 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-1-0 Form: WWWLWW |
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Posted: 25 February 2008 at 9:09pm |
not a day goes by - without me writing a rhyme- -
finding the time to climb in my mind - designing a line- - trying to bind the crying for life - to literature- - a sinner who's cured by the purest scripture he turned... to when he written a verse - used to listen and learn... from niggas who worked to fit in the worst position in earth- - fishin' for words in addition to descriptions of dirt... they lived in, it hurt - to vision a victim hit with a bird- - whistle or chirp through the nerves - it's the way we fight- - in this game of life - play despite the "might" for the day we die- - praying might soothe the spirit - others use the liquid... in liquor or choose to mix it with two more spliffs and... this isn't the way - but shit, if it fades a bit of the pain- - i rather hit it and blaze than stay grippin' a gauge- - wishin' a day will trip in my way - where i'm hittin' a stage- - liftin' the praise for the lyrics i state - spitten with grace- - not a day goes by - without me smilin' for somethin'- - though the while i'm just frontin' when this style is for nothin'- - pilin' my junk in a sheet - sunk in a beat- - touchin' on deep subjects that mean somethin' to me- - 'fore i stumble between a tunnel that gleams- - my tongue will concieve a lung full of dreams the sun couldn't cease- - it's for the rumble in streets - leave'em humble in peace- - no more struggle to breathe or hustle to reach a bundle of green- - we are crumbs who will link to fill this crust- - they've killed enough - i spill this skill to build a trust- - real enough to heal the lust drilled in us- - cause we revealed the dust - but concealed the brush- - so i peel the dutch to fill my lungs with reasons to fight- - it's weak but it's right to beat these demons inside- - a beast on the mic - but teaching the right lessons- - keeping the mics blessed with meaning in my message- - not a day goes by - without me wanting more- - for i've seen a lot of poor painted in the art of war- - on the floor - hearts are torn from the start of scorn- - bodies thrown like garbage so afar in shore- - we are the forms of life that tarnished more than rights- - like daughters born with lies and start as whore than wives- - the pardon Lord invites with has spiked kids with a mind- - they'll always be forgiven so they get in the rivet of crime- - their vision is blind - the men and women who tried... to fix it were tied in gimmicks for riches grippin' their lives- - and this is just a bit of the rhyme - nothin' more, nothin' less- - i come to pour from the chest - somethin' for what is left- - we're stuck in war, lustin' sex - drunk and poor, bustin' techs- - clutchin' swords, cuttin' flesh - must i sort up the rest?- - what i warn must progress - throughout this land- - even if i threw out my plan and blew out the chance- - ... |
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SpellBound
Standard Member Joined: 20 August 2007 Location: US Status: Offline Points: 195 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-6-0 Form: LWLLLW |
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This was ill man, flow was dope as usual. I liked how you tied the title into the beginning of each verse, and how each one had a different direction. You gonna record this by any chance?
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Freeda5thDawg
Standard Member Joined: 19 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1324 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-1-0 Form: WWWLWW |
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it was written to a beat...so it's 99.9 possibility...but recording is tough for me cause i get lil opportunities at the moment...thanks for the feed man...
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SageOne
Standard Member Joined: 12 June 2006 Location: At Your House Status: Offline Points: 2976 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 34-13-2 Form: WLWLLL |
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Freeda...record this shit! I'll buy you a mic and mail it to you, shit.
This was dope...Not too many opens I see ever have a flow like yours...I can appreciate a good flow when I see one, and this...my dude...was ill. I tend to obsess over multies in my shit, and it looks like I'm not the only one. Big ups Freeda....Big ups.
i rather hit it and blaze than stay grippin' a gauge- -" "this isn't the way - but shit, if it fades a bit of the pain- -
Probably one of my favorite bars...you're always comin correct freeda.
Each little "chunk" of this was dope...I tend to knod off with some of these open mics, but I actually enjoyed this one from the first to the last word. Keep em comin, and I'll be watchin for the audio. 1 Edited by SageOne - 25 February 2008 at 11:42pm |
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Freeda5thDawg
Standard Member Joined: 19 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1324 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-1-0 Form: WWWLWW |
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haha, send it now man...thanks alot for the feedback...yup, multis is a big obsession for me, glad you liked it...
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teken8996
Standard Member Joined: 16 February 2007 Location: CA Status: Offline Points: 390 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-7-2 Form: LLNLLN |
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Hey Freeda 5th where do you live?
if US.. whats ur address |
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Fatal
Superior Member ...Wicked Wit Wordplay... Joined: 08 March 2005 Location: Chicago Status: Offline Points: 6441 Crew: The Dynasty Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-4-2 Form: WNNWWW |
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^Wtf?....
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Rameez
Superior Member Joined: 31 July 2007 Location: Brampton, CDN Status: Offline Points: 3922 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 22-40-4 Form: NWWWWW |
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LOL ??? shake head..
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teken8996
Standard Member Joined: 16 February 2007 Location: CA Status: Offline Points: 390 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-7-2 Form: LLNLLN |
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y u hatin i want to hear him on the mic....
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Rameez
Superior Member Joined: 31 July 2007 Location: Brampton, CDN Status: Offline Points: 3922 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 22-40-4 Form: NWWWWW |
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lol its not hate, it's really weird askin someone's address like this..
Edited by Rameez - 09 March 2008 at 6:04pm |
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teken8996
Standard Member Joined: 16 February 2007 Location: CA Status: Offline Points: 390 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-7-2 Form: LLNLLN |
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haha yea i guess but yea my intention is to buy a mic and send it to him if he needs it and hear him on a track
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Freeda5thDawg
Standard Member Joined: 19 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1324 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-1-0 Form: WWWLWW |
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i got a track out in the audio section...it was my first recorded and first try recordin...and i'm in jersey, but lmao, i dont think i'll give my address...
Edited by Freeda5thDawg - 09 March 2008 at 8:45pm |
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U.N.L.M.
Standard Member Joined: 19 December 2006 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 1955 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 23-15-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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lol, Tekken ya can send me that mic if ya want :)
Flow was dope, thought this was a cool idea as you start off each verse with the same line.. Added a section i favored in each verse..Either had great flow or good message that i interpreted from it praying might soothe the spirit - others use the liquid... in liquor or choose to mix it with two more spliffs and... this isn't the way - but shit, if it fades a bit of the pain- - i rather hit it and blaze than stay grippin' a gauge- - we are crumbs who will link to fill this crust- - they've killed enough - i spill this skill to build a trust- - real enough to heal the lust drilled in us- - cause we revealed the dust - but concealed the brush the pardon Lord invites with has spiked kids with a mind- - they'll always be forgiven so they get in the rivet of crime- - their vision is blind - the men and women who tried... to fix it were tied in gimmicks for riches grippin' their lives- |
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I-kontinue
Veteran The Sovereign Joined: 14 July 2004 Status: Offline Points: 4961 Crew: The Dynasty Text Rank: #3 Stats: 46-9-0 Form: WWWWWL |
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It's good. I don't know if people will be appreciative of it audio though because through text you have a chance to read it and analyze it, but in audio, the pace is much quicker. I know everyone has their styles, but it's mine to make lines simpler with heavy load behind 'em... If you can keep this flow and make things easier to pick up by the average listener, that would be Don shit. Flow should be secondary to content. Remember dat! I'm dropping a piece called Flow soon so you can see what I mean... The flow is still bananas, but the content will be easier to understand... Not necessarily dumbed down, but put into conversational terms where it's easier to pick up. Good read though. Stay up..
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Freeda5thDawg
Standard Member Joined: 19 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1324 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-1-0 Form: WWWLWW |
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i see watchu sayin...yea i agree, but doin so much text, it became a habit to jus write how i feel...but this particular piece wasnt meant to be audio actually...thanks for the feedback, i'll keep that in mind for the audio shits...hopin to be consistent wit them...
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Smoothtung
Standard Member Joined: 09 December 2012 Status: Offline Points: 2222 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 25-8-3 Form: WWWLWN |
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Yo I know it's been a couple of years man but I sooooo fuck with this script man.. that ENTIRE stanza is so on point is crazy.. absolutely love this shit.
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Though you never even had the chance to witness it |
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AshleyKaos
Standard Member Joined: 11 October 2013 Status: Offline Points: 2511 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 28-63-3 Form: LWLLNQ |
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This shit wSas off the fukin hook freeda rhymin wad fukin insane..... mad fukin skills and the topic was still deep that shit hit home....
Like right here is isn't the way - but shit, if it fades a bit of the pain- - i rather hit it and blaze than stay grippin' a gauge- - wishin' a day will trip in my way - where i'm hittin' a stage- - liftin' the praise for the lyrics i state - spitten with grace- - And here trying to bind the crying for life - to literature- - a sinner who's cured by the purest scripture he turned... to when he written a verse - used to listen and learn... from niggas who worked to fit in the worst position in earth- - fishin' for words in addition to descriptions of dirt... they lived in, it hurt - to vision a victim hit with a bird Nice piece not a day goes by - without me smilin' for somethin'- - though the while i'm just frontin' when this style is for nothin'- - pilin' my junk in a sheet - sunk in a beat- - touchin' on deep subjects that mean somethin' to me- - 'fore i stumble between a tunnel that gleams- - my tongue will concieve a lung full of dreams the sun couldn't cease- - it's for the rumble in streets - leave'em humble in peace- - |
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NUMBER 1 FEMALE MC TILL THE DEATH OF ME
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Excel
Banned Joined: 02 April 2014 Status: Offline Points: 64 |
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Dude i can think of mass beats this could go to, this was a really good verse, need help with beats let me know i will send you the links to some good ones this could go to, but overal nice verse, especially flow and lyrical
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