Open Mic: Nothing breaks like a heart (girl in the mirror)

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    Posted: 29 March 2019 at 10:36pm

That green is envy, it’s cost me plenty, like my future past
Left to reflect on image of myself whose truth is cast
Orange tear secretes from my hollow eyes
Dead sober, the exact opposite of volatile
Horrified, when I learned the news at last
That tumour, big as a lime, terminal as Dulles port
Like a warped reality when I learned it would cut me short
Callously, like a homicide, left my whole view aghast
What of my child though? She better flower fast
Sands of time slipping down my figure as an hour glass
Felt like I was in a casket and they were tryna close the lid
Powerless to stop it like watching a sadist grope your kid
How’d I get exposed to this? Like watching the sky fall
Trust it’s an eyesore when cancer gets in your eyeballs
All I see is colours and patterns, sunken and flattened
Like they’d succumbed to a magnet, pulled from the planet
Trippy as hell, disfigured, dishevelled, it’s bleak and sullen
Transformed like Guernica to a real life Weeping Woman


Edited by Cuba - 30 March 2019 at 7:17pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Dntplywelwitothers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 March 2019 at 12:26am
Yes! Nothing like reading something fresh from one of my favorite pen slingers!!!! An absolute treat and, you sir...do not disappoint.

Starting off, you re shaped the whole view of this painting and turned it into art within art, molding it into something completely different, absolutely amazing. You gave abstract a form and did it wildly..."that green is envy" ...sets the tone...the reflection intermingles, at first I think the narrative is coming from the perspective of the first image, but it's really the reflective image. The description in this is cohesive with the picture and it actually gives more details to the pic than just looking at it. It seems as if the story belongs to this image..."what of my child? She better flower fast. Sands of tyme slipping down my figure as an hour glass" ... whooo! Delima! Perfect... imagery! Perfect...definitely pulls on the heart strings.

The Whole ending was definitely a highlight the mention of the cancer and then go back into the detail of the picture describing it "colors and patterns, sunken and flattened... like they succumbed to a magnet" all that shit is DOPE! Then you compare to two other paintings at the end... the real life "Weeping Woman"...you pulled this whole piece together. So glad to see you still do this. And you still do it so well
"My name has the most shout outs in the history of rap...."
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Sammy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 March 2019 at 12:40am
im usually not a fan of similes but it was nicely played here. reminds me of kabal from mortal kombat. weird and strange but effective. 

That green is envy, it’s cost me plenty, like my future past
Left to reflect on image of myself whose truth is cast
Orange tear secretes from my hollow eyes
Dead sober, the exact opposite of volatile

hollow eyes and volatile was dope. 

What of my child though? She better flower fast
Sands of time slipping down my figure as an hour glass

also wicked! dope imagery.

Powerless to stop it like watching a sadist grope your kid

wasnt so thrill about thi line lol

All I see is colours and patterns, sunken and flattened

that was nasty! great multies

this verse is reminsicent of Scorpion as well. there's an underlying potency hidden in a veil of trans-mutative  lexicon that was well out of view of the common thread of convention. in other words, its one of the illest piece i've read since the trailer of Mortal Kombat 11. i don't understand how you can take this long hiatus but still not rust. well done, sensei.


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