Open Mic: Cambridge [KOTM]

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Sammy View Drop Down
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    Posted: 15 October 2016 at 5:19pm
Amidst the taxes and two cents from vagabonds on their stoop steps
The morning dawn courses on; welcome to Cambridge, Massachusetts
The fuckin traffic, a nuisance. Pitter patter of news clip: today, our fall tradition, folks, it's our annual Stew Fest!
Enjoy A canteen of brew, fresh from the Colombian woods. Breath, exposed; autumn marks its arrival
The shard of summer dreams fractured, sharp edge afflicting high notes
Sanguine scenery. The saps of morning sighs define hope.
After the arrid intrigues of yesterday, i’ve witness a fine growth.
Whether the mind of Rembrandt or the trance that defines Poe
Every perspective is genius; that timely delicate slight stroke
New England scented cider. Pumpkin patches posing like light shows
October. Canobie Lake and Spooky World had the night lit in candles
I walk the cobblestone of Harvard Square.
Where logics roam.
Sauntering slow, I embrace the breeze of the Boston ocean
Salted sinews recalling summer solstice sin. Booze and bolstering beautes’
Trade facade for fall cottons and boisterous boots
Winter quickly approaching but Cambridge stays winking; her voice, it soothes
From fall to fall, it's evergreen features shall ensue.


Edited by Sammy - 15 October 2016 at 5:26pm


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alicewonder View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote alicewonder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 October 2016 at 11:59pm
Great to see you participating. 
This had a beautiful tone to it. I guess the picture's also contributing to that. I think you displayed an interesting and authentic "picture" of your area. I really enjoyed the "little" details, like Canobie Lake and the "cobblestone of Harvard Square" you provided here. Also probably because I've been there myself, and it kind of brought me back to that experience. I think the ending was the highlight - a really nice personification, concluding in a very harmonised tone (at least that's how I perceived it). I wish this would be a bit longer, though, but that's just preference. I thought the personal references you employed, like the "I witness a fine growth" contributed to that beautiful tone I mentioned in the beginning. A good read overall. 
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Sammy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Sammy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 October 2016 at 5:54am
you've been to Cambridge before? cool! Go Pats!!


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Crimson Juice View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2016 at 2:29pm
This was some well expressed poetry here,the vocab was tasty
as to the contents,with some nice references to ppl and places,i
found this piece to be a summery verse,with cider and the shard
of summer giving it a breezy overtone vibe,I also liked the small
things here like detail,that along with vocab made this piece lift
up and out,aswell as reppin your city you gave the reader a visual
aid via the details provided,the only real criticism I have is this,

1,it had the making to be longer..
2,i feel robbed for it not being longer..

lol..

thanks for the read,I believe you did well here,and I'll be looking
out for your alias from here on..peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Cuba View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Cuba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 October 2016 at 5:31pm
Clap Clap Clap

Real nice man, super slick rhyme scheme peppered with a whole bunch of references. Really solid effort. In some respects it's hard to get excited about a "repping" topic (at least for me personally) but you did a great job and made it very readable. Nice work and surely will be tough to top.
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Sammy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Sammy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 October 2016 at 4:28am
ha thanks for the read, guys! Just skimmed ur verse Cuba and damn you! I was aiming for KOTM this month! I got u on the feed tomorrow, boss.


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CHAIN View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote CHAIN Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 October 2016 at 8:42pm
Descriptive writing is an art form, and you nailed it.
You choose vivid details and colorful words to bring Cambrigde to life.
The alliteration towards the end was dope as hell.

Cuba's flow is more fluid than yours, some parts of your verse were a bit wordy, but I still think you'll take it this month.

+Sick-Witted+
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Lord Puente Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 October 2016 at 7:40pm
this si the only kotm left I think I got to feed, don't have time now, but ill try to get to this one tonight. haven't read this on yet so need more time to devote here. my b for the lateness.
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