General Board: #p15 mag and reveal...

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Crimson Juice View Drop Down
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    Posted: 08 October 2019 at 9:27pm
Well ppl it's been a while since I've last done a magazine, so bear with me here,
firstly i want to thank those who took part I hope you found it a challenge, if not
hang about as this is a challenge that doesn't stay static, from time to time it'll
take on a change so stay tuned, so as we all know, it's been pretty quite here at
LA of late, so quite in fact that even the crickets fucked off at one point, still
from rock bottom the only way now is up right?, i know i'm a legend, but shit at
times i felt like Will Smith, anyways enough of that i just want to give a
shout out to a couple of ppl, Doom Abomination DJ Flame Slip Mitch & Neek
for being around through the bleakest era i've ever known, and some serious
props going to DJ Flame for his Murder my Beat tourney, which may i add looks
set to be a cracker!, so make sure ya'll kop that and vote, so on to our newest
member Noumenon, this guy has come from nowhere and lite a small fire here
at LA, and to be honest i now want to take this opportunity to thank him for that,
the guy although a hand full is for me a breath of fresh air, i like him strangely, so
to Noumenon i'll say, ride out the storm learn the etiquettes and things will even-
tually feel like home, we also had a couple of older heads join us again so a quick
shout to Concrete and Trizzy, welcome back fella's, now on to the verses...


Loved the direction of your story you fashioned here, of a sect/
cult and the young adult being the offering, because she strayed,
pretty icy to get that out in 15 lines and still make it fill a complete
verse, and this bar here was solid,

"I take her to the church, Lay her where the voices say,
Portray her in a way that entices disciples to prey" ,

it really did come off as edgy and morbid, for some reason it
reminded me of that film Silence Of The Lambs on reading, it
was in that realm of darkness to me, i also feel your verse did
related to the image/picture real well too, nice work and a cool
take on the image..


Your verse here came off like an old wives tale, a caution to kids
not to wander off scenario, it felt on reading like it had an age about
it as folklore's often do, like it was deep set within the locals residents
psyche, as it has a breezy vibe that made it feel disposable at ones
peril, it came off as quaint and mild when reading also, the flow was
simple but worked as it gave it a layer of authenticity (as rhyme were
basic , Ring a Ring Of Roses/Humpity Dumpity) that when delved have
deeper meanings, i liked it cool verse..


Well straight off the bat the assonance kicks in here, and although simp-
listic in its approach, you do have what i like to call pool lines, meaning
you have to dive in and break the surface to get the deeper tones, or as
others would call it, reading between the, (it's also refreshing
not reading you adding CHAINS alias within a verse too), you painted a
picture of a child who is either disfigured/disabled or gifted in some
way, and as the time frame suggests ppl are unable to comprehend or
grasp it, like the child is either a prodigy or omen, and that's what i
mean there more to this drop than meets the eye, nice verse..


The poetic slant here was a cool inclusion, set the tone up nicely for the
details thats to follow, which i could see and picture on reading quite
clearly, the concept was nice too, (woods/trees) and it read pacy also,
the highlight for me besides what i've stated already was the latter half
of this piece, it was creative and cleverly done, i started to get the gist
when i approached the golden locks part, and the ending was well,
just pure class, i got a kick from this piece, i just wish you'd drop more
OM's in general, Ripe verse..


Your take on the picture was one of a sadistic serial killer lurking in the
woods, waiting in a predorty fashion for a victim to stray by, i liked the
fact you brought a horror core angle here, in fact i'd put money on it being
Dizzle to drop a horror piece, so imagine my surprise, the line about mixing
brains to make porridge felt dark and morbid and dare i say gruesome, the
"hotdog/ketchup" one although cold skated near to the bone for me, made
me cringe, overall though it was cool verse..

So i think we can all agree on who the winner is this month, (if not that's
too bad) whilst everyone came with a cool take on the picture, it's this
guys concept that took it for me, other than that detail it was a close run
race, so ppl give it up for "drum roll please", tatatatatatatatatatatatata

Next challenge will be up on the 13th of this month, and guys thanks for all
your efforts here, yet again LA surprises me, in truth i was expecting only
a couple of entries, you've done me proud boys......peace.

Props to Cuba, that man management course you did a while back seems to have
resonated your talent...your a Legend...

Edited by Crimson Juice - 08 October 2019 at 10:24pm
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Mitch.Wagwaan View Drop Down

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Mitch.Wagwaan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 October 2019 at 7:48am
Nice Write up Crim! Enjoyed taking part and look forward to the next one. Respect for taking the time to set it up and take the time with your analysis.
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daydizzle89 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote daydizzle89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 October 2019 at 1:45pm
Cool read Crim. I am a fan
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Dntplywelwitothers View Drop Down

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Dntplywelwitothers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2019 at 6:05am
Enjoyed your take on each verse Crim. Dope read. Appreciate your tyme and words.
"My name has the most shout outs in the history of rap...."
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