"Awe"tistic
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Emcee Lounge
Forum Name: Open Mic
Forum Description: This isnt a Battle Board, this is for your Freestyle Verses to be Rated by other members.
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=37922
Printed Date: 19 April 2024 at 3:22pm
Topic: "Awe"tistic
Posted By: The Law
Subject: "Awe"tistic
Date Posted: 14 December 2014 at 12:28am
 "Awe"tistic I sit here, in the wonderful breeze dry, gray grass right under my knees I have my canvas for my next beautiful painting my utensils that make for useful creating So I paint what I see, what I see from my eyes From my eyes what I see is a life of surprise With each stroke, each touch I create a gift of youth An elegant lady with a heavenly smile and a skin silky smooth Pushing a pristine, vintage carriage with my newborn sister Background, white flowers that gleam and couldn't be no richer Red leaves, beautiful tree's designed from autumns solstice Producing what couldn't be a stronger moment and Evolving more detail than the author who wrote it Each color from my palette, instills my families joy and happiness The smile, pure white teeth, toned cheeks from gods craftiness She is always grateful for my flattery so I look at my mother, but see an angel in my masterpiece then I look at my sister, but see the best baby from gods gallery My family, they deserve the best and nothing less so what I gave them was a picture that showed their perfectness. I finished this gem, so striking, glowing from each strand that I ushered Showed my sister and she had her first smile, full of grand from the wonder and then I turned to my guardian angel, and put it in the hand of my mother.... "Awe"tistic.....  -------------  |
Replies:
Posted By: H4ZE
Date Posted: 14 December 2014 at 1:08am
|
Damn law, your topicals always wow me, the concept around this one was very touching. Flow was smooth for me throughout the piece, but the way you worded it and the use of the imagery within the verse really painted an image in my head of the characters views and thoughts. And the pictures you added with it just added more depth to the already amazing verse. Definitely a great read man. 5 stars imo. Great shit my man. ------------- 
|
Posted By: The Law
Date Posted: 14 December 2014 at 1:21am
|
Thanks man, I really appreciate. and yeah definitely the pictures are part of the art in this one, without them, it gives a lot less of understanding of the verse. ------------- |
Posted By: Point Blank
Date Posted: 14 December 2014 at 9:08am
|
LOL that last picture got me, did you draw it yourself? This was pretty nice, had that poetic aura about it which is one of your strengths when you get writing on a piece like this. I liked that 'see from my eyes' section. Nice work bro |
Posted By: nomedic
Date Posted: 14 December 2014 at 8:09pm
|
Wow This was a complex piece similar to your previous work on such a topic but this time you enhanced the imagery and threw in a twist at the end i thought this was super sick bro no doubt and hella entertaining good work |
Posted By: Nigma
Date Posted: 14 December 2014 at 8:19pm
|
This makes everything I've written in the past few months seem meaningless. Like I've just been writing for the sake of writing while you're here because you have something to say. Big ups on this, was such a refreshing read. Start to finish classic, dope title, don't know what else to say besides well done. -------------  |
Posted By: Titu
Date Posted: 15 December 2014 at 10:19pm
|
Whoah! The flow on this thing was fucking brilliant. And I loved the concept behind it lol this was comprehensive but yet an affective piece.. good to see you back, dawg. Propz Ps- I really wanna know if you draw that last pic yoself lol ------------- Fuck That Fat smelly cunt Donald Trump, a racist asshole who is fucked in the head. |
Posted By: CHAIN
Date Posted: 15 December 2014 at 10:22pm
|
I don't even know what to say. Perfect execution.The presentation was a work of art. Genius. The god gallery line? Loved the way you worded that. Great concept *slow clap* |
Posted By: IZIAH
Date Posted: 16 December 2014 at 2:43am
|
this was fucking dope, the topic was insane, and u did a great job of it dude, flow and words were stunning, keep it up. ------------- ~Insight The Inspired~ |
Posted By: daydizzle89
Date Posted: 16 December 2014 at 7:59pm
| the way your able to make this feel as if your talking with no force is amazing. The vividness of this piece is damn near realistic. The way you transition and grasp each line is awesome. Though it was short, u were able to be descriptive enough to pull grab hold of your protagonist. Good shit brothaman and welcome back |
Posted By: fiendishfriend
Date Posted: 17 December 2014 at 7:05pm
|
Autism has always fascinated me I've heard someone say that autism Is a result of a person not understanding That life is an act. A game of hide and go seek With itself. And more importantly this was awesome Thank you. Good work. |
Posted By: The Law
Date Posted: 19 December 2014 at 12:35pm
|
Thank you for all the feedback. ------------- |
Posted By: Exoduzt
Date Posted: 19 December 2014 at 4:25pm
|
Law glad to see you back my dude. This was dope man. I'm loving the concept. You always have had a way with words that always gave off this poetic vibe. Very very smooth. You painted a real detailed surrounding to the concept that really jumped out to me. It just makes it a much nicer read. I loved how you described certain things in this piece. I loved this drop because it was so creative and unique. How did you come up with a concept like this?. Very original and impressive. hopefully you stick around and drop more pieces like this -------------  |
Posted By: The Law
Date Posted: 19 December 2014 at 5:06pm
|
Thanks man I am glad to be back writing something at least Tbh it actually started where I wanted to write a piece with a bunch of descriptive imagery and j was just thinking and that popped in my head lol. I have another real dope concept that would be good in a two person collab but it'll take a bunch of work to make sure both pieces coincide perfectly. I just read one of your drops as well a little while ago but I can't leave proper feed until I get home from work. Thanks again ------------- |
Posted By: iLL ScriptureZ
Date Posted: 19 December 2014 at 6:12pm
| What a fantastic, fresh & original idea. How hard is it for any one of us to be able to honestly say that. The concept is just one of those that I wish was turned into a 3 verse audio with that last picture as the twist at the end. This was pure art Law.. The detail that you described the love for the family as well as the first picture was delivered in a way that you related to the kid. Then at the end you felt heartbroken bc of his disability but also warm bc the mom loved it regardless. "Awe"some work... |
Posted By: The Law
Date Posted: 21 December 2014 at 9:08am
|
Thank you for the feedback ILL, it's much appreciated. ------------- |
Posted By: Exoduzt
Date Posted: 21 December 2014 at 8:40pm
|
I would love to get on that collab law ------------- |
Posted By: The Law
Date Posted: 24 December 2014 at 10:20pm
|
I'll send you a pm a little bit later about it. ------------- |
Posted By: Kiki Spirez
Date Posted: 30 December 2014 at 12:00pm
|
A lot of writing gets drowned with boasting and negativity, to the point where its hard to make positive words stand along side them, unless the skill is there. And it was with this. You were talking about such a sensitive and beautiful situation, which by definition should've been 'soft', but if anyone can't appreciate your wording and imagery on this, they should log off now. Props my dude. Great images too, you're right, it does add to it. ------------- http://media.photobucket.com/user/Seinamies/media/Big-Dilla-Cover-web.jpg.html" rel="nofollow"> 
|
Posted By: The Law
Date Posted: 01 January 2015 at 3:40am
|
Thanks Keek's ------------- |
Posted By: levy420
Date Posted: 01 January 2015 at 3:57am
|
Laws steady putting in work the flow was spot on threw out Not much to say here I mean u killed the topic the imagery was on point made u feel like u was right in the person's shoes an that final picture just pieced everything together well props -------------  |
Posted By: Mitch.Wagwaan
Date Posted: 01 January 2015 at 1:37pm
| This was a dope concept that you executed impecably! Really enjoyed reading this.. The poetic feel was Awe-some.. The verse together with the images, was a work of art!.. My favourite bar was the 'my eyes see'.. That had a sick symetrical syllable count. Really nice drop man! |
Posted By: Ibesick
Date Posted: 04 January 2015 at 8:20am
|
This is one dope piece, it was a smooth read throughout, and very entertaining, the wording and rhymes are superb man, shine of skill right here Great Work |
Posted By: ricky_crux
Date Posted: 05 September 2015 at 6:20pm
| POETIC |
Posted By: JBrenn
Date Posted: 09 September 2015 at 5:29am
|
^^^^^ Shit HEAD! Law- you know your game is tight when you drag vets out of retirement homes to make them drop feed!! This was on another level as you have been for a while now... the whole piece just rolled together perfectly and the syllable measurements were off the hook bro!!! Very nice work! -------------  |
Posted By: The Law
Date Posted: 11 September 2015 at 1:18pm
|
Damn, I'm surprised this is still getting hit up with feed. I appreciate it, thanks for all the feedback . ------------- |
Posted By: Storm $hadow
Date Posted: 11 September 2015 at 3:15pm
| Really did create imagery in my head... Great work |
Posted By: The Law
Date Posted: 22 September 2015 at 7:47am
|
Thank you for the feedback storm. ------------- |