supercali [WD7]
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Emcee Lounge
Forum Name: Open Mic
Forum Description: This isnt a Battle Board, this is for your Freestyle Verses to be Rated by other members.
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=44251
Printed Date: 20 April 2024 at 9:55am
Topic: supercali [WD7]
Posted By: Sammy
Subject: supercali [WD7]
Date Posted: 18 December 2016 at 2:42am
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the mind moves in blazing speed. the greying creeps innocence was the language of the young, now we speak Depravity grip with sharp grading teeth abrasion like a tourniquet fractured psyche painting pulchritude with alluring scripts my supercalifragilistic is but another onomatopoeia on my way to see ya. but a mirage obstruct the seer with pitiful placard. set to detonate hard on dumb nonbeliever but i was taken by the sanguine sound of a siren in heat i like my woman old and volumptuous on my bed are relics of whales silver lining my sheets -------------  |
Replies:
Posted By: rhetorical
Date Posted: 18 December 2016 at 4:40pm
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hey sammy i love that you use these intricately placed unique word choices to punctuate the lines. in fact, just realized that this is your word association piece. I was going to comment on the length, but im glad i stopped because it makes more sense now lol . . anyway 'grip the sharp grading teeth abrasion like a tourniquet' man. . loads of imagery packed in here. . . you worked some magic with those words job well done
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Posted By: alicewonder
Date Posted: 18 December 2016 at 7:25pm
| This was quite impressive considering the relevance of each word you employed here. I love the balance 'between' the word placements, there's a profound meaning and direct elaboration in the very same lines, like the 'onomatopoeia' one. The 'tourniquet' imagery is very original, too. The last line is nicely poetic, I appreciate the association with the 'silver lining' bit. Schemes were immaculate per usual. Thanks for sharing. |
Posted By: S Dubb
Date Posted: 19 December 2016 at 11:57am
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This was a pretty good short little verse.... The layout and feel of this piece gives me a good vibe..... Your flow was back and forth, it would be great for a few lines then shake a little through a couple..... Your vocabulary and choice of words were great and you placed them nicely into your verse..... Keep posting verses homie, it's always interesting reading your drops..... Good work homie |
Posted By: SELF ACTIVATE
Date Posted: 20 December 2016 at 3:48pm
^Flawless execution and wording; as well as flow. Great opener.
^You're a wiz with the poetic lingo. I love how your words create little flashes of images that swiftly fade away just as soon as they come.
^How so?
^"Sanguine sound" ... now that is intriguing. I don't even want to know what you meant by that. I would much rather mediate on it and discover my own interpretation. I do like that phrase tho.
A pimp and a poet. lol. Dope read ... as usual. Peace... |
the mind moves in blazing speed. the greying creepsPosted By: -Que-
Date Posted: 02 January 2017 at 4:12am
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the mind moves in blazing speed. the greying creeps innocence was the language of the young, now we speak Depravity grip with sharp grading teeth abrasion like a tourniquet fractured psyche painting pulchritude with alluring scripts ^^^ This set put me in the "Midevil Resonance-ish type mindset. I felt you goin in and taking advantage of the softer version of the words. Excellent. Execution was on point. my supercalifragilistic is but another onomatopoeia<---lol , nice break yup and defining the word drop word. on my way to see ya. but a mirage obstruct the seer ^^ Probably one of my most loved lines. Its the simplicity ,yet it says a lot. Plus the play on see yah and seer. Nice. with pitiful placard. set to detonate hard on dumb nonbeliever but i was taken by the sanguine sound of a siren in heat i like my woman old and volumptuous on my bed are relics of whales silver lining my sheets lol...cool ...Nice Drop Sam!!! ------------- |