Check Me Out
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Emcee Lounge
Forum Name: Open Mic
Forum Description: This isnt a Battle Board, this is for your Freestyle Verses to be Rated by other members.
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=45466
Printed Date: 20 April 2024 at 12:13am
Topic: Check Me Out
Posted By: Who-Is-You?
Subject: Check Me Out
Date Posted: 23 October 2017 at 3:18am
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What up the name is WhoIsYou? in case you’ve never heard of me Okay Been away but skill still proper like my currency Precision cuts like a doctor when it’s surgery rippin rappers like e’ry day I celebrate the birth of me no courtesy, servin’m sentences for they perjury And any fan that cosigned, convict that man of forgery welcome to my murder spree, the rebirth of me currently got weak rappers is in the state of an emergency Aint ja rule, but certainly, got that murder ink I’m the real deal, so fck what ya heard or think If your weak ass swung at me, i wouldn’t turn or blink Lames on’t worry me. Seen my notepad ya claim it was a sorcery shine light on you like Sun it’s time to learn from me Like ISIS wanna kill Christians, I just wanna murda any, rapper who isn’t worthy why he still livin got bars for any fake welcome to my lyricill prison And when I say kill, know I mean that hypothetically. Yes you keep your soul, aint here for your life just your dignity As I Brilliantly paint the imagery so plain and vividly And call you out on every inconsistency And every sentence be another hit from me viciously chip in at you mentally a different typa empathy cos brother man, I feel you suffering but it bring a thrill to me I don’t call you fake rapper I call you enemy now face the penalty You all suffer, the whole entity of your fuckin peasantry If you know I’m talkin to you, bitch you’re already dead to me After I fuck up your brain gonna need help medically I told ya these lyrics are a complete weaponry Nothin better than - God and these skills God blessing me My match made in heaven is the melody You’re helpless in the face of destiny Always rappin bout your money, Well bitch ya just lost your equity And now you in debt to me got bars for any fake welcome to my lyricill prison |
Replies:
Posted By: Absolute Abomination
Date Posted: 23 October 2017 at 9:43am
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Cool drop. Flow was pretty consistent but a few spots where the multies stopped or were lacking and only the end syllable was clearly rhymed (the "ee" sound). E.g. no courtesy, servin’m sentences for they perjury And any fan that cosigned, convict that man of forgery Only the "forgery" rhymes in the second line. It's nice to see multiple words in the scheme but when one line has 5/6 rhymes and the second, which is longer, has only 1 it hurts the flow. Nothing really wowed me, just a decent braggadocio piece. Which is the general way to introduce yourself. Keep at it. ------------- Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin. |
Posted By: spume corrupt
Date Posted: 24 October 2017 at 8:40pm
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It's decent man.....but decent is were it hits its ceiling...... I can see you becoming a lyrical force with more exposure and practice I don't want you to think I'm being a big shot here, rather you recognise I offering you some constructive criticism for you to use in your endeavours to elevate.. So this is what I noticed you done that made the work seem underdeveloped..... How many end rhymes ended with the letter Y?.....Too many! Imagine rhyming destruction obliteration motivation determination...Constipation...trust me I'm not full off shit That kind of rhyming would get me called out if I relied to heavily on it..., That's what you done homie... You feel me Otherwise keep up brother I like a lot of what you seem to be about -------------  |
Posted By: Lord Puente
Date Posted: 28 October 2017 at 4:48pm
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you got nice rhymes throughout it. nothing jaw dropping. im surprised you haven't dropped any audios yet, I thought that was what you mainly did. -------------  |