Still Driving With The Brakes On
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Emcee Lounge
Forum Name: Open Mic
Forum Description: This isnt a Battle Board, this is for your Freestyle Verses to be Rated by other members.
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=46540
Printed Date: 18 April 2024 at 6:56pm
Topic: Still Driving With The Brakes On
Posted By: Slip
Subject: Still Driving With The Brakes On
Date Posted: 28 June 2019 at 2:49am
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It’s never the right time to write ,,, long days end fast Songs use to write them selves,,, now it’s just a task ain’t like it use to be ,so far from it Couldn’t reach it I tried to, remember the way I loved it Like the one who got away and kept on runnin Or a bunch of gambled cash that left me with nothin But a god sized hole emptied out soul Without the rhythm of a rhyme my minds not whole Without the light from the shine it’s dark and so cold Both feet to the floor, tires start to screech , lighting up the street that’s a figure of speech Smoke so thick like cheech n Chong Doin donuts on the blacktop Driving with the brakes on Spinning in the same spot singing the same song ------------- See no evil speak no evil silent echo alter ego inner demon violent beast so warn the mother fucking people |
Replies:
Posted By: Crimson Juice
Date Posted: 29 June 2019 at 2:43am
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Slip i would have liked to of gotten in on this, seens as we did the orginal some time back, anyways back to this joint here, the similes were coming thick and fast here, and i really liked the in and out switch from 1st person to 3rd person prospective throughout also, it was a nice reflection piece overall, it had a com- ing of age vibe etched in, like a grown up version of the TV series The Wonder Years but a darker version was what i was getting on reading, it flowed well too, shit i enjoyed it ripe read..peace. ------------- "You need to learn how to make an exit, before you can dare make an entrance". |
Posted By: Slip
Date Posted: 02 July 2019 at 12:48am
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Good to see you still around bro, feel free to drop the verse and shake of the rust ------------- See no evil speak no evil silent echo alter ego inner demon violent beast so warn the mother fucking people |
Posted By: Nigma
Date Posted: 02 July 2019 at 4:36pm
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I think the title was my fav part, really cool metaphor for the content of the verse. Something I'm sure most of the board can relate with. Would be cool to see a few deep and thoughtful metas like that dropped throughout the verse as well. You stuck to single syllable and two syllable rhymes for the most part as well so building on that would be nice to see as well. Cool little piece here tho -------------  |