BG for me the verse was pretty solid overall stylistically and I liked the added touch of the carry over multi in most of the bars. That (A)bomb a nation bar was better the second time I read it and the triplicate packed multis in some of the bars like "The Goose is morbid rude and if i were you i'd of killed myself after dropping fortitude" were good for the flow. I'mma break it down.
Handle beef?? Na he's just trying to cook a slab of goose meat, Bitch please! BG never ducks I hunt and murder dudes absolutely!!
I mean it was a bit sloppy in the way the syllables felt slammed into the punchline at the end there and generic in that this bar could be said about anyone though there are 16 bars and while it's builds, it could've been more direct
We're Toe to toe now though, I bet you're ass is bit shaken within, Seeing me in a topical? Ha! You aint got enough length to your pen!
A line like 'now we're deucing' at the start coulda carried that multi over into this bar and had it run the course of the whole thing naamean and the lack of continuity between the setup and the punchline had this one fall a bit flat thematically. The missing a after the is and the lack of rhyme in the 'bit shaken within'/'nough length to your pen' was a bit meh. Also a bit generic
Battle with men? bet your into some weird shit like bottom domination, In conversation? Even God thinks your gay ass in an Abomination!
Aiit a bit of nameplay coming into it and kinda a funny and weird setup, I see the connection between the setup and the punch but the connection is lost for me in the calling him gay stuff idk that's pretty 90's
Goose is calm and patient, but letting Absolute drop on this site's up surd, If I needed to promote a book tomorrow I still wouldn't let him write the blurb!
I liked this bar it felt more clinical and was a good mix of being direct towards him but it felt like a light jab you know, it's a bit more like ooh burn. Calm and patient linked it aiit to Abomination at the end of the last bar
Bite the curb or pillow and I'll still bet you'll be getting a hysterectomy next, Trust you'll have to stitch your asshole like Edward Norton in American History X!
I had to break this bar down to try to figure out what was going on cos I've seen the movie and it turns out that a hysterectomy is getting ur womb taken out, the biting the curb thing is what happened in the movie and was pretty racist and biting a pillow was maybe a link back to the bottom domination line and while I liked the 'hysterectomy next'/'American History X' rhyme and found the setup and structure real nice, the connect with AA was missing for me
This Kid's visibly hexed! I'll check in like next, you should just forfeit dude, The Goose is morbid rude and if i were you i'd of killed myself after dropping fortitude.
Nice yeah, I liked this bar, the inners and the multisyllable opener linking the bar before, this was like a step up from the last bars
Watch me scorch a noob! My combinations be hitting him like body/head, Im John Gotti bred! You can look for help from Scotty, but my shotty says that Scotty's dead!
This was a nice bar too, I like that inner rhyme going on at the open linking it again. It was like u shook some rust off in the opening bars for a bit or something and then thrown a couple hooks. Could've been more personal still cos this could be said to anyone but fuck it was pretty funny
You couldn't free verse while handing Dobby threads! Stop this man like Kim Jong the King Kong of Asians, I don't sing songs but my Elton John's dropping Rockets Man and ill (A)bomb a nation! I mean structurally this bar could have been tidier, it hung over the bottom of my browser window that setup was so much longer than all the other lines lol but it connected and sat with a cool nameplay and a pretty effective haymaker style punchline on it. Overall it could have been tidier and that but it was effective for the job required. Multis and nameplay and connections abounded but could have been improved on with the use of other writing techniques to crank out some more villainous verse. AA on reading ur verse through the first time it fell flat for me. The second time it fell flat even though some parts were creative. Uv shown growth but I think u were outmatched in this point in the tournament. Rhymes were short and stretched and structure was loose as, I'll break it down for you too in the hopes that it'll help ur style keep improving. The matter-of-fact is I'd never duck-duck brotha goose I buck-buck shotty shoot spray his brain matter loose
The dashes in between matter, of and fact were unnecessary right? I tried to figure that out for a minute and gave up. The flip on what he said was a bit lame, the fact that only goose/loose and buck/duck rhymed was lame and it was a bit void of any original wordplay as an opener for me. While it was a bit graphic it could have been more creative.
What's it matter if you lose, hung up in the noose? blow off this birds roof, leave him slumped in the chicken coop
The setup didn't setup to anything here so the chicken and bird in your jab didn't connect u see cos birds and chickens aren't just out here hanging themselves. I want more multisyllabillic rhyming at this point cos it's a bit like reading a Dr Seuss with the lose/noose/roof/coop. Nothing else was really going on rhythmically so it felt a bit herp derp to read
I stay chin checkin' this fool, Don Royce time to meet the new King Krool but I ain't gonna let an ape beat his chest n shit
At this stage I'm like what do Don Royce and King Krool have to do with BG and apes beating their chests n shit. This lost me ae I get that chest n shit rhymes with emptiness in the next bar and that fool rhymes with Krool but it was just like all up in the air and what the fuck
I'ma bust a couple grapes, fill his head with lead and emptiness I will leave nothin' less, wonderin' if he's shameless droppin' excrement
Oh cos it's a goose and ur a hunter or something? Idk this was a whole lot of misguided, the setup to the punch was kind of wafting around what you were wondering about or something, it didn't connect as a rap battle bar on any kind of level for me
or is it confidence to record his shit, listen back and still be postin' it? Lord please deliver us, Exodus from his written diss, his audio miss, never even had a last hit
Rhyming shit, hit, it, diss and miss made me cringe then u prayed to god for help and that. This is a bit of a disappointing way to be rounding ur battle verse up against such a good battler. While ur stats are similar to BGs it really shows that his experience at this is a few worlds apart yet, you could learn a lot from even taking some of the advice in some of the votes on this battle seriously and from other battlers and their verse in this tournament though. When ur rhyming it and hit u got a way to go homie.
Washed up in this LA ghost town, and I ain't no exorcist, but I still wish you would fuckin' quit this is it, a shot you should not miss, opportunity knocks better answer it
In this bar you rhymed quit and it so it wasn't that far from the last bar really ae. You made a wish and told BG he had some opportunity if you look at what's happened here. Falling a bit flat.
I am not Kind to my son, throw this Kratos bitch into the River Styx leave AliceWondering where the Mad Hatter is, White Rabbit out the hat, magic trick
While the Kratos and River Styx knowledge was kinda cool and a bit more could have been done with that. U then brought Alice in Wonderland in and ur battling against someone called Brotha Goose. Wondering if ur just taking the actual piss at this point.
Wasn't enough, I had to make the Brotha's body disappear finally somethin' good comin' out this fuckin' year Bit of a wup wow moment. Yes 2020 was shit but like u didn't make any body disappear and you rhymed pear and year so ur closing punchline like the one that we all came out to see and vote on to see if u would get to the next round with was quite weak AA. Expected better but hey we're all elevating and here for the culture. In this battle though I think you got bodied even if it was an average win for BG, MVGT Brotha Goose
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