Urban Legends: [R1-B3] The Law vs Nigma |
Post Reply |
Author | |
Scotty32
Site Owner Speaker of Wisdom & Truth Joined: 18 October 2003 Location: North West, UK Status: Offline Points: 10489 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-4-0 Form: WLLWLL |
Topic: [R1-B3] The Law vs Nigma Posted: 22 May 2014 at 8:15pm |
Rules 16 - 24 Lines Deadline: 29th May 2014 at 8:00pm BST (GMT + 1) No extensions will be given - Late Entry = DQ Verses to be posted in this thread Crew Votes Allowed Participant Voting Allowed Topic The US government admits Area 51 and Roswell are real Edited by Scotty32 - 24 May 2014 at 12:04pm |
|
|
|
Nigma
Site Moderator Joined: 25 March 2013 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 4077 Crew: Elision |
Posted: 28 May 2014 at 1:43am |
I lead a veteran crew of messengers, our beings tri-dimensional We moved into their heavens from the Jupiter direction And the scene beneath, it’s evidence for funeral endeavors See, their leaders have consumed them, destined doomed to debts, they’re tethered And the noose is creeping, but thats being seen by new competitors The youth will band together, deep and in pursuit to purge the pestilence FREE!, and it’s FOREVERdome, to be immune from Exodus Reveal the evil, move it deep, then tomb it, teach it betterment Soon we reached a hemisphere thats dormant, bore no sign of growth It was 25 below. So the night was cold, and the sky was golden Striking lightning bolts flying violent through both the ice and snow Brightness is confined amidst the dry mist, drifting lightless glow Fires from the lightning climb the pine trees, settled, it is final Benevolent in essence, bent the climate to perfection, we are flying Now the elements combined signifies arrival, our tribe approaches It’s a sign, they have a right to know and it’s time we told them So I mind control the pope, lift his giant soul with a violent pull Beamed it higher, going from sky to globe in a timeless motion I speak inside the minds of every life form, spanned circumference Begin the transmit: This your government, we’ve lied to you. It’s public, they have come again 51 and Roswell hold the knowledge and amazement of the ancient races who summoned ‘Men’ And they made the Big Bang, gave our planets ‘apes’. We’re what's become of them- They’ll believe our speech indeed because we speak in somber frequencies And we’ll share technology as they evolve to be a calmer species. Preach it. |
|
|
|
The Law
Site Moderator God of the Minions Joined: 15 June 2013 Status: Offline Points: 5504 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 64-8-8 Form: LNWWWW |
Posted: 29 May 2014 at 10:31pm |
Conspiracy Expired. …. Breaking news today…. Area 51 and Roswell conspiracies are revealed. due to the fact, this alien attack could not be concealed During the events of roswell, we captured a spacecraft The people of this country all thought we staged that… But the truth is we experimented, on what was inside Aliens and the earth's moon is where they reside Apollo 11 was just a hoax to make people believe, and hide things from what they're minds couldn't conceive Area 51 become a meeting ground… We didn't have aliens, or spaceships… we 'greeted out' Communicated, shared and traded our knowledge. They gave the US the edge that put other countries in solace We became dependent, addicted to the things they distributed Technology, literally out of this world, power, energy, fuel… was unlimited. But we were too greedy, we had to keep it concealed from the world And the us citizens paid the price, even those little boys and girls Those terrorist attacks were a set up, to get the fuel from the east So we could hoard our own, and the energy they gave us wasn't released. It was all a gimmick, a fraud, we had a plan agreed to take over earth The cities, the plains, deserts, forests.. the last drop of rain, or grain of dirt But that deal went sour, we began growing in dept to other countries. Lazy ass people with the munches, drunkies, junkies, our culture turned ugly We apologize, for putting our citizens in jeopardy, to possibly the worst enemy … "Where is my bible, where is god and his legacy"? (Or was that the false entity)? |
|
|
|
Kiki Spirez
Superior Member Joined: 30 December 2008 Location: Chesterfield Status: Offline Points: 4374 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 68-26-0 Form: WWWWLW |
Posted: 30 May 2014 at 12:13am |
MVGT- Nigma.
Nigma pro's: Great vocab as per usual, approached the topic in a more abstract and out of the box way. The last 5 lines in particular were brilliant for imagery, but really, they were just an indicator of what the whole verse was like. Nigma negatives: There was a narrative, but it was a bit vague, like, it touched on the announcement, and a bit in to the aliens involvement in the history of the Earth, but it was a bit scattered. Law pro's: Good flow, easy to follow. Narrative was slightly more specific and detailed, therefore more stimulating than Nig's. Law negatives: Simplistic with the vocab and multi's, seemed rushed (which it was). Bit of a shame, as if you'd spent a bit of time on the writing, with the narrative you had created, you might've got this. But that's in no way taking away from Nig, cos his shit was dope, and showed what a consistent creative writer he is. Props. |
|
Cuba
Senior Moderator Legendary Assassin Joined: 14 June 2004 Location: England Status: Online Points: 12327 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-22-0 Form: WWWWLW |
Posted: 30 May 2014 at 6:59pm |
Nigs
What I liked...epic approach in terms of just machine gunning the rhymes. I like how you're able to go that abstract to be like "I'm in the mentality of an alien invading earth". There's something about your references that's like elemental, it really adds to that epic feel...like you don't ever really see you making a popular culture reference like Chain would,for example. What I think could've been better...if I was being harsh, I would say your narrative effectively was "aliens invade earth" and you had a whole boat load of filler around that main narrative. Which in itself is actually pretty cool to an extent, but add that together with you just not being on topic and you're struggling in this battle in my eyes. The topic isn't about an alien invasion, it's about the government admitting there is alien life forms out there and they covered it up. For me, you were in the same family as the topic but a brother in law isn't blood if you get me. The Roswell shit was really just an afterthought for you, an appendage you put on the end because you basically wrote the verse you wanted to write & not on the topic you were given. From a verse point of view, I dug it, but from a "how well did he stay on topic" point of view I think you didn't do a great job of that at all. Law What I liked...you were on topic!!! I felt you had a clear idea of where you wanted to take the topic...short sighted power structures in USA meant they hoarded the technology etc. aliens provided, but same mentality / behaviour lead them to do the same with other countries and when the alien threat came the world wasn't prepared. I get it, clear, on topic, good interpretation of topic. I think you did potentially wander a little too far into government conspiracy but given you vey clearly laid the context I think that was fine. Verse wise I didn't think it was as clean and crisp as you normally deliver but equally I think some of your imagery (in the sense of creating an image rather than a literary technique) was nice, some good details in there. What I think could've been better...a whole bunch, like I said before it was nowhere near as crisp as you normally drop. I don't know whether that's down to rushing it or whether because you had a complex topic that you felt you had to try and compensate by packaging more into your lines. Regardless, I think it shows that you maybe compromised your regular approach to deliver on topic whereas Nigma compromised on the topic to deliver his preferred verse. And, even though I understood your narrative I don't think you progressed it that well, it wasn't that compelling and you didn't really bring it to life that much in all honesty...it was more of a "good idea" rather than an immersive, detailed, subtle verse that you usually bring. Which is a real shame. Overall I think you had a good take on the topic, a solid enough verse without really dazzling. So when it comes down to it, I think Nigma had a better verse but Law was on topic was a good verse. In the end, my philosophy is that the whole point of a topical battle is that you battle on the same topic & the best man wins. If someone doesn't write on the topic then they lose. If the game is scheduled at Wembley stadium and one team shows up and plays decent football and the other team stays on the training pitch but plays like Brazil, it's he performance at Wembley that's the official one, regardless of the quality of football on the training pitch. On that basis I think Nigma lost the battle as much as Law winning it. So on that basis I have to vote for Law... Vote = Law |
|
|
|
Notez
Groupie Joined: 21 May 2014 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 220 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-3-2 Form: WWNWLN |
Posted: 30 May 2014 at 7:47pm |
Nigma........Very Creative! i liked this piece for the most part...it just felt off to me somewhere...i cant really pin point it but I thought your flow and rhyme scheme in this were dead on.......I enjoyed going from line to line reading the creative imagery....U have a very vivid imagination, to be able to think shit like that, props to you....
Law......I think i might have read only like 1-2 of your others drops pryor to this one....and now im like why havent I read more.....although your wording was simple....it still had a flow to it almost poetic... You stayed on Topic the whole way through, and I felt Ur take on it was a good way to go with it... i couldnt really visualize yours as well as Nigs but, It still was a very enjoyable read.... This is really hard one to judge cuz on One hand Nigs had the Vocab and IMagery.... But Law and Flow and stayed on subject imo better........ Let me reread them real quick................ Im gonna Vote For Law on this one......on the grounds his Verse felt more real (as in it could actually happen that way). Great Battle U 2
|
|
levy420
Superior Member Joined: 22 May 2013 Location: San Antonio TX Status: Offline Points: 3443 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 39-33-4 Form: LWWLLN |
Posted: 31 May 2014 at 2:15am |
Nigma I liked your verse but it seemed u tried to cram to much into it the inners made it a real enjoyable read transitions chopped it up an threw it all I didn't see that build up on the story I dunno maybe it's just me but the detail in how u attacked the middle of the verse just threw it off for me with the lightning an snow an ice section but all an all it defiantly was an enjoyable read I just didn't see that wow factor or twist I'm used to seeing from you but good job I know ur used to more lines so it prolly threw u off a bit
Law Don't think I've read a topical from u yet but this was dope nice imagery an story line here easy to read an flowed smoothly also pretty good concept on the U.S. working with aliens for technology that was a good angle an you worked it well for that reason Mvgt law But this was a good showing from both good luck fellas |
|
|
|
Scotty32
Site Owner Speaker of Wisdom & Truth Joined: 18 October 2003 Location: North West, UK Status: Offline Points: 10489 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-4-0 Form: WLLWLL |
Posted: 02 June 2014 at 11:32am |
3-1 to Law
|
|
|
|
Trizzy Tre
Superior Member Joined: 28 March 2013 Status: Offline Points: 5101 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 30-7-1 Form: WLWLWW |
Posted: 03 June 2014 at 5:12pm |
First off I wanna say this was outstanding on both sides....this was a tough call between two dope verses.....
Law - You verse was very impressive....you hit the nail on the head topic wise. The way you started it out was a nice intro to the piece and really read like a movie would drawing out each part systematically. Each bar tied each part together and your interpretation of the topic was spot on. You paid attention to details which in topicals in a big part of the overall feel of the story. Really well done.
Nigma - Your vocab and rhyme schemes were fresh as always, you seem to attack that part of your verse so fuckin well. But as in topic if just didnt pop off the screen to me, just seemed like I was trying to figure out what was goin on. I struggled to really picture where you were going, which suprised me. I thought you were able to come with an original angle to this topic which I give you credit for....but dont get me wrong as a bad topical verse from you is a dope verse for probably 90 percent of the dudes in this torney.
But Law you brought a lot to this first round....
MVGT - Law
|
|
SwordedStylez
Superior Member Joined: 16 August 2007 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 4921 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-0-1 Form: WWWN |
Posted: 04 June 2014 at 9:23am |
Nigma - I really enjoyed this verse. You had some nice ideas and developed them well, my only issue is I'm not sure how well it relates to the topic. There's a definite "sci-fi" edge to it but I dunno, somewhere there's a missed connection. Flow was ok, I've read a lot better from you so I was a little dissapointed and some of your schemes were out of synch a little. All in all I think if this was an open mic I probably would be a little more favourable but I expected a bit more from you in this battle if I'm honest. You came correct, but I expected you to kill it.
TheLaw - First thing that stands out is this flows for days, really nicely done. Your schemes aren;t the most intricate of things I've ever seen but the way you constructed this keeps the flow moving regardless. Again I loved your concept and how you developed it, you were on topic throughout and I really enjoyed the piece. I have no massive criticisms at all in fact, so nice job. This battle had good verses at good lengths from good members. I'm gonna have to give it to TheLaw for being more on topic and flowing better. Nice job though y'all. |
|
Scotty32
Site Owner Speaker of Wisdom & Truth Joined: 18 October 2003 Location: North West, UK Status: Offline Points: 10489 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-4-0 Form: WLLWLL |
Posted: 04 June 2014 at 9:39am |
Thanks to all the voters, that's round 1 over with. Law joins the others for round 2 which will be up tonight.
|
|
|
|
Post Reply | |
Tweet
|
Forum Jump | Forum Permissions You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot create polls in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum |
|