Open Mic: Reading |
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Sammy 
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Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2223 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW |
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 Topic: ReadingPosted: 30 March 2019 at 3:56pm |
"Reading" By Sammy Bosom buddies, caricature convolve Picturesque; drawn in Brown, gold, purple sprawl, choking the edges of an otherwise grayish dissolve. Aging. It’s skin whittled; stained yellow bricks tucked between two meddling oaks Measuring heights, when the true “wuthering” lies in paperback tome Remember the time?Bundled up in front of the fire now kindling is needed. brush of dry tinder that burns with proper WiFi. I miss the papercuts; the pain’s enough proof I’m alive. The soothing tune of paper flaps, like babbling brooks telling lies. Fiction fantasma only stopping at a fall. Cliff hanging. Next chapter. Plot panders to the calls. Jack London, packed lunch before entering the wild. |
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Neek
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Super Mario Slaughterer Joined: 05 October 2004 Status: Offline Points: 3862 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-1-0 Form: LWWW |
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Posted: 30 March 2019 at 6:54pm |
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talk to'em Sam!
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#Bananas
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Cuba
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Legendary Assassin Joined: 14 June 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 12329  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-22-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Posted: 30 March 2019 at 7:34pm |
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#piccasshow #itsatriology #greeneggsandham
This was dope sir, great descriptions that go beyond just creating a visual image...like the papercuts bit, you throw those details in there, it's like you're creating a glimpse of a world you invite the reader into for a moment. Opener was wild, that's definitely something I picked up when I was writing mine, you don't really know if he intends there to be 1 or 2 faces, they kind of wrap into one. Weirdly it kind of helps me to look at the picture and break it down a bit more when I'm looking at it after reading your interpretation. I kind of dig the two artforms clashing, seems like it's kind of fitting in a way. |
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Dntplywelwitothers
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Joined: 30 November 2013 Status: Offline Points: 172 |
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Posted: 31 March 2019 at 4:34am |
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I echo what was said above...
I also thought the same about the opener, with the intent of the two faces, if I ever get around to part two, hopefully I can get my point across as well as you did, anyway... I definitely enjoyed the wordplay in this and the wording and description is phenomenal. Tons said in a short piece...."now kindling is needed. Brush of dry tinder that burns with proper WiFi" ... soooooooo nice then you follow up with "I miss the paper cuts...." you always place your wording right where it needs to be...I truly enjoy reading your pieces. Closer brings it full circle, "cliff hanging. Next chapter. Plot panders to the calls." I was always told a good writer always leaves you wanting more, edge of your seat, pages damn there turn themselves, as a reader...you definitely drive that point home... Dope drop Sammy |
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"My name has the most shout outs in the history of rap...."
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Absolute Abomination
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Joined: 15 May 2015 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 556 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-3-0 Form: LLWW |
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Posted: 02 April 2019 at 3:07am |
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change your name to imagery
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Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.
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