Open Mic: Real As It Gets |
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Who-Is-You?
Groupie Joined: 03 October 2017 Status: Offline Points: 89 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-0-0 Form: WW |
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Posted: 18 November 2017 at 9:42pm |
listen fast,
every second I'm livin I seek progression confession there's a real obsession I'm havin and it's, with the cash. hit a blunt session, talkin plans with the fam. "make another dollar" that's the plan for everything ... that's the answer every time. flippin every dime. only real recognize real, so why tf 'ont you recognize? that's rhetorical but still dog, that's just horrible. sick it's deplorable some shit to make want war with you wave this 4-4 at you, stain up the floor with you and tho it's true, that might sound to be dramatic I aint out searching for drama like no movie fanatic but these mfkrs are like electricity, so full of the static so i move with such hazard, when I move and out here, i'm a street soldier my boy salute I came out shittin green, I was born for loot. wasn't you? any friend to me, I left them a memory to remember Cos i keep it real thru any weather, you can call me mid of winter mid December, I'll be the same mtfkr. No bitch pretender from when the, sun was shining and the steaks was grillin till the end of time I'll forever remain this real it's impossible, too much an obstacle for life's begotten soul to make me fake, real till the day of my wake real all the way to them pearly gates
Edited by Who-Is-You? - 18 November 2017 at 10:19pm |
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Goryo.
Groupie Joined: 28 June 2016 Status: Offline Points: 431 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-4-0 Form: LWLWLW |
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This was an alright drop. You have a lot of potential content-wise and a unique way of saying things but to get the most out of that you need to tighten up your flow, structure, rhymes, and avoid cliches (like the 'real recognise real' line). Punchlines fit well in verses like these so definitely use them as much as you can. Get some fucked up one-liners too. Good things about this were that it wasn't all jumbled like the beginning and end were in the right places etc and the 'dramatic/fanatic/static' section was cool. But yeah, tighten it up and work at it man.
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