Topical Tyranny: Round 1 - Battle 1 : Votes

Right....

4 good verses...verse 1 wa sokay, but the story didnt flow as much as I'd have liked and wasnt up to the others lyrically...the fingerprint of often mismatched multies leaves me in little doubt as to who wrote it...a good verse in itself, but it was against a strong field
2...mismatched rhyme to start off with...flowed well, good story...night in the cell was good...overall, pretty solid verse, no major stylistic issues...3...started great, really good opening bar...all of it flowed and rhymed well, seemed to capture the mindset of the drunk better than the others...my favourite verse out of the 4...verse 4, excellent flow and rhyming, although the mutlies got a bit crowded towards the end....closer was excellent, and the content was very good too...my 2nd favourite

Good battle

verses 3 and 4 gmv

Verse 1
Decent verse, Flow was very shaky to me tho, bunch of mismatch'd multi's made some lines terrible to read, At other times you'd have a line that was either far too short or far too long...

Story was cool tho, didn't really flow well, was very choppy imo.  Another thing was there wasn't any real emotion, I know you tried to use story elements to spark emotions in the reader but your not very good at it

Overall, just a decent verse
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Verse 2
Good Verse, Flow was much better than the first verse imo...Still not perfect, First 4 lines were nearly genius, but feel off fast after that, Multi's because forced and unnatural, which made me stop enjoying the read

Story was again cool, Flow of ideas was cool... Felt better wording could have made it much better flow wise tho... Honestly, I was really expecting a lot more emotion when it came to the alcohol topic but no one seems to bring it... Twist at the end was decent, Kinda didn't like how ya highlighted those words to show the twist tho... Key to a genius twist is to have the reader like wow or in awe, And yours didn't achieve that... Twist just gotta sorta come with the verse

Overall, Good enough verse, some flaws, some weaknesses
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Verse 3
Nicest verse so far, far as flow is concern'd, Multi's were consistently on point which made reading it really easy and I breeze'd through it with ease, Props to you for that... I will say, sometimes I felt the words were force'd to make the multi and the lines lost a bit of meaning a few times, nothing to bad tho

Story was nice in there... Immediately after reading it, I thought to myself, I could see a alcoholic thinking/doing alot of this... Really capture'd an alcoholic perspective in my opinion...No real twist to the story, just a nice plot... Like'd how the alcoholism drove everything u care'd about away, which eventually lead to your suicide...Good job. On a side note, this could have been an equally good topical about suicide, which says alot about ur writing

Overall, Pretty nice verse, Lyrically and Topically
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Fuckin dope verse, Wonder who wrote it? hmmmm, lol... Lyrically was the best of the group...Multis and flow were near flawless... Help'd progress the story alot... Nothing else to say about it lyrically

Story wise, It was very nice... Felt that you finally got that emotion I've been waiting for across, which made ur verse even doper to me cause I really wanted that emotion... Like'd the ending as well, Closer was fucking dope...As was everything else

Overall, Dope verse yo....
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I felt this battle was pretty cool overall, there definitely weren't any weak verses, But I felt two of em were just on another level and thus are my picks...I felt while verse 1 and 2 were good, verse 3 and 4 were superb, with 4 being my favorite by a slight margin...Those verses were just better lyrically and story-wise and so

3 and 4 are my picks

Verse 1

Props voters

Verse 1 - DressToKill is out
Verse 2 - McWoods is out
Verse 3 - Calibra advances
Verse 4 - Freeda5thDawg advances