Open Mic: Still Driving With The Brakes On

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Slip View Drop Down
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    Posted: 28 June 2019 at 2:49am
It’s never the right time to write ,,, long days end fast
Songs use to write them selves,,, now it’s just a task
ain’t like it use to be ,so far from it
Couldn’t reach it I tried to, remember the way I loved it
Like the one who got away and kept on runnin
Or a bunch of gambled cash that left me with nothin
But a god sized hole emptied out soul
Without the rhythm of a rhyme my minds not whole
Without the light from the shine it’s dark and so cold
Both feet to the floor, tires start to screech ,
lighting up the street that’s a figure of speech
Smoke so thick like cheech n Chong
Doin donuts on the blacktop
Driving with the brakes on
Spinning in the same spot singing the same song
See no evil speak no evil silent echo alter ego
inner demon violent beast so
warn the mother fucking people
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 June 2019 at 2:43am
Slip i would have liked to of gotten in on this, seens as we did the orginal some
time back, anyways back to this joint here, the similes were coming thick and
fast here, and i really liked the in and out switch from 1st person to 3rd person
prospective throughout also, it was a nice reflection piece overall, it had a com-
ing of age vibe etched in, like a grown up version of the TV series The Wonder
Years but a darker version was what i was getting on reading, it flowed well too,
shit i enjoyed it ripe read..peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Slip Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 July 2019 at 12:48am
Good to see you still around bro, feel free to drop the verse and shake of the rust
See no evil speak no evil silent echo alter ego
inner demon violent beast so
warn the mother fucking people
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Topical ChampOpen Mic of the Month
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Nigma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 July 2019 at 4:36pm
I think the title was my fav part, really cool metaphor for the content of the verse. Something I'm sure most of the board can relate with. Would be cool to see a few deep and thoughtful metas like that dropped throughout the verse as well. You stuck to single syllable and two syllable rhymes for the most part as well so building on that would be nice to see as well. Cool little piece here tho
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