Spotlight: supercali [WD7]

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Sammy View Drop Down
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    Posted: 18 December 2016 at 2:42am
the mind moves in blazing speed. the greying creeps
innocence was the language of the young, now we speak Depravity
grip with sharp grading teeth abrasion like a tourniquet
 fractured psyche painting pulchritude with alluring scripts
my supercalifragilistic is but another onomatopoeia
on my way to see ya. but a mirage obstruct the seer
with pitiful placard. set to detonate hard on dumb nonbeliever
but i was taken by the sanguine sound of a siren in heat
i like my woman old and volumptuous
on my bed are relics of whales silver lining my sheets


I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promise it won't be boring. -David Bowie (RIP)
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote rhetorical Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 December 2016 at 4:40pm
hey sammy

i love that you use these intricately placed unique word choices to punctuate the lines. in fact, just realized that this is your word association piece. I was going to comment on the length, but im glad i stopped because it makes more sense now lol . . anyway

'grip the sharp grading teeth abrasion like a tourniquet' 

man. . loads of imagery packed in here. . . you worked some magic with those words 

job well done 
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote alicewonder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 December 2016 at 7:25pm
This was quite impressive considering the relevance of each word you employed here. I love the balance 'between' the word placements, there's a profound meaning and direct elaboration in the very same lines, like the 'onomatopoeia' one. The 'tourniquet' imagery is very original, too. The last line is nicely poetic, I appreciate the association with the 'silver lining' bit. Schemes were immaculate per usual. Thanks for sharing. 
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote S Dubb Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 December 2016 at 11:57am
This was a pretty good short little verse.... The layout and feel of this piece gives me a good vibe..... Your flow was back and forth, it would be great for a few lines then shake a little through a couple..... Your vocabulary and choice of words were great and you placed them nicely into your verse..... Keep posting verses homie, it's always interesting reading your drops..... Good work homie
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SELF ACTIVATE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 December 2016 at 3:48pm
Quote the mind moves in blazing speed. the greying creeps
innocence was the language of the young, now we speak Depravity


^Flawless execution and wording; as well as flow. Great opener.

Quote grip with sharp grading teeth abrasion like a tourniquet
fractured psyche painting pulchritude with alluring scripts


^You're a wiz with the poetic lingo. I love how your words create little flashes of images that swiftly fade away just as soon as they come.

Quote my supercalifragilistic is but another onomatopoeia


^How so?

Quote on my way to see ya. but a mirage obstruct the seer
with pitiful placard. set to detonate hard on dumb nonbeliever
but i was taken by the sanguine sound of a siren in heat


^"Sanguine sound" ... now that is intriguing. I don't even want to know what you meant by that. I would much rather mediate on it and discover my own interpretation. I do like that phrase tho.

Quote i like my woman old and volumptuous
on my bed are relics of whales silver lining my sheets


A pimp and a poet. lol.

Dope read ... as usual.

Peace...
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote -Que- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 January 2017 at 4:12am
the mind moves in blazing speed. the greying creeps
innocence was the language of the young, now we speak Depravity
grip with sharp grading teeth abrasion like a tourniquet
 fractured psyche painting pulchritude with alluring scripts
^^^ This set put me in the "Midevil Resonance-ish type mindset. I felt you goin in and taking advantage of the softer version of the words. Excellent. Execution was on point.
my supercalifragilistic is but another onomatopoeia<---lol , nice break yup and defining the word drop word.
on my way to see ya. but a mirage obstruct the seer
^^ Probably one of my most loved lines. Its the simplicity ,yet it says a lot. Plus the play on see yah and seer. Nice.
with pitiful placard. set to detonate hard on dumb nonbeliever
but i was taken by the sanguine sound of a siren in heat
i like my woman old and volumptuous
on my bed are relics of whales silver lining my sheets
lol...cool ...Nice Drop Sam!!!
Que Chapter 2
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Resurrection comming soon
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