Forum LockedText Battle Archive: T2T Round 1: Brotha Goose vs Absolute Abomination

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    Posted: 07 November 2020 at 3:59am
The 2020 Tournament
Round One: Text (standard rules)

Brotha Goose vs Absolute Abomination

Verses are to be 8 bars or 16 lines in length.

Battlers have 14 days from now to write their bars.

If there are no decisive votes on the battle after 7 days once the verse is posted, then I will vote in an unbiased manner and decide on the winner to continue to the next round.

If a battler ducks, due to timeframes being accurately adhered to, if it quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, I'll be calling it a duck. 

If you don't both check in then your battle will be discontinued and parties that check-in will progress to successive rounds but parties that fail to check-in will be disqualified.

Battlers must check-in to the battle in order to proceed.

GO
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Absolute Abomination Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 November 2020 at 6:33am
aight guess the tourny is on?
check 1.

(expect a drop within a week)
Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Absolute Abomination Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 November 2020 at 6:34am
~cant edit first reply~

goose was only in if it was topical...is this gonna be topical? i dont mind
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Rapper T Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 November 2020 at 6:38am
Na he said "throw in a topical and I'm in". A later round will likely be a topical round. This round is standard rules and text applicable. You've checked in so we wait for Brotha Goose to check in and rather than spamming up your battle anymore, save it for the battle and the check from the opponent and spam up the roster thread if you have any other questions. Look forward to your drop! Esskettit!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Brotha Goose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 November 2020 at 5:44pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Brotha Goose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 November 2020 at 12:33am
Handle beef?? Na he's just trying to cook a slab of goose meat,
Bitch please! BG never ducks I hunt and murder dudes absolutely!!

We're Toe to toe now though, I bet you're ass is bit shaken within,
Seeing me in a topical? Ha! You aint got enough length to your pen!

Battle with men? bet your into some weird shit like bottom domination,
In conversation? Even God thinks your gay ass in an Abomination!

Goose is calm and patient, but letting Absolute drop on this site's up surd,
If I needed to promote a book tomorrow I still wouldn't let him write the blurb!

Bite the curb or pillow and I'll still bet you'll be getting a hysterectomy next,
Trust you'll have to stitch your asshole like Edward Norton in American History X!

This Kid's visibly hexed! I'll check in like next, you should just forfeit dude,
The Goose is morbid rude and if i were you i'd of killed myself after dropping fortitude.

Watch me scorch a noob! My combinations be hitting him like body/head,
Im John Gotti bred! You can look for help from Scotty, but my shotty says that Scotty's dead!

You couldn't free verse while handing Dobby threads! Stop this man like Kim Jong the King Kong of Asians,
I don't sing songs but my Elton John'sĀ  dropping Rockets Man and ill (A)bomb a nation!


*Has an OM called blurb
*Has an OM called fortitude

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Absolute Abomination Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 November 2020 at 10:37am
The matter-of-fact is I'd never duck-duck brotha goose
I buck-buck shotty shoot spray his brain matter loose
What's it matter if you lose, hung up in the noose?
blow off this birds roof, leave him slumped in the chicken coop
I stay chin checkin' this fool, Don Royce time to meet the new King Krool
but I ain't gonna let an ape beat his chest n shit
I'ma bust a couple grapes, fill his head with lead and emptiness
I will leave nothin' less, wonderin' if he's shameless droppin' excrement
or is it confidence to record his shit, listen back and still be postin' it?
Lord please deliver us, Exodus from his written diss, his audio miss, never even had a last hit
Washed up in this LA ghost town, and I ain't no exorcist, but I still wish you would fuckin' quit
this is it, a shot you should not miss, opportunity knocks better answer it
I am not Kind to my son, throw this Kratos bitch into the River Styx
leave AliceWondering where the Mad Hatter is, White Rabbit out the hat, magic trick
Wasn't enough, I had to make the Brotha's body disappear
finally somethin' good comin' out this fuckin' year


*i aint gotta explain shit
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 November 2020 at 10:29am

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BG

Ok i'll start with the opening bar, came off as direct, it had a very loose personal
though, seems like you just tagged it to the end to show it was aimed, but it was
kind of cool how you made it rhyme, it was forced and stressed but it worked, so
good start, you then went down the clowning/schooling route there after, your 3rd
bar was in essence forced and light as punches/personals go, seemed to lack sub-
stance for me, just didn't have enough within to make me think yep that was cool,
you then went with attacking him via his OM's , which worked but it read light as far
as effect goes, and that's the deal with your offering, you had a good mix of ideas
and angles, but the majority of them seemed forced and blunted, but overall the
verse had merit, it just seemed on the light side and stuck in one lane, I would've
got at him through acronyms as well, I mean AA,that alone opens no ends of poss-
ibilities..


AA

So I was in liking your verse from start to end, you had a creative flair popping off
I thought, your similies were humourous and relatable which added strength to your
punches/personals, not as blunted as BG's verse but in not being blunt you had more
room to go on the attack, which you did, there were a few moments within that made
me smirk for real, like the chicken coop bar and the attack on his crew, especially with
the Alice Wonder/white rabbit inclusion to hash out just a couple, I'd go as far as to
type you were up for this one, (do you guys have history prior this tourney?), because
it seemed like your settling a score of sorts, and how comes you don't battle more?,
anyways overall a solid drop..


For me this battle boils down to witt v's blunt, both came and did their thing here, but I
do have a winner in mind, and before I get there I just want to type cool tussle guys I
enjoyed this..

Vote....AA...peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote levy420 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 November 2020 at 6:54pm

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Goose

Handle beef?? Na he's just trying to cook a slab of goose meat,
Bitch please! BG never ducks I hunt and murder dudes absolutely!!
Nice lil opener/nameplay 6/10

We're Toe to toe now though, I bet you're ass is bit shaken within,
Seeing me in a topical? Ha! You aint got enough length to your pen!
I like this swagish punch might of hit better with is bit cut out the set up still pretty effective with him stating he thought u only agreed to do topicals in the Turney 5/10

Battle with men? bet your into some weird shit like bottom domination,
In conversation? Even God thinks your gay ass in an Abomination!
This was clever an funny as hell gotta love a good nameplay flow was solid as fuck to 7/10



Goose is calm and patient, but letting Absolute drop on this site's up surd,
If I needed to promote a book tomorrow I still wouldn't let him write the blurb!
Nice lil personal a bit stretched but still effective 5/10


Bite the curb or pillow and I'll still bet you'll be getting a hysterectomy next,
Trust you'll have to stitch your asshole like Edward Norton in American History X!
First off this is nasty you fucking dirt bag hahaha but does it really punch AA directly I think u could a left this out an saved it for a om or something of that sort kind of a waste of a bar in my eyes 3/10

This Kid's visibly hexed! I'll check in like next, you should just forfeit dude,
The Goose is morbid rude and if i were you i'd of killed myself after dropping fortitude.
This was a kill shot by far your best bar 9/10

Watch me scorch a noob! My combinations be hitting him like body/head,
Im John Gotti bred! You can look for help from Scotty, but my shotty says that Scotty's dead!
Dam it was u that killed scotty u fucker šŸ¤£ that being said this was kinda meh for me kinda falls under a jab or general statement I like the tie in to scotty though 4/10

You couldn't free verse while handing Dobby threads! Stop this man like Kim Jong the King Kong of Asians,
I don't sing songs but my Elton John's dropping Rockets Man and ill (A)bomb a nation!
Great nameplay on the closer a bit stretched so it took away from the potency still a solid way to close 6/10

45/80 overall a solid verse enjoyable read the cohesiveness was nice smooth read had a lil bit of everything







AA


The matter-of-fact is I'd never duck-duck brotha goose
I buck-buck shotty shoot spray his brain matter loose
This was a decent flip name play but the flow is choppy as fuck to me if u woulda cut the brotha an just went with goose it would have been more cohesive love the concept to me it just didn't hit hard an fell short 4/10 openers are important to set the tone



What's it matter if you lose, hung up in the noose?
blow off this birds roof, leave him slumped in the chicken coop
Flows way better here but what are u really saying seems to be more of a general statement over all love the flow though 4/10


I stay chin checkin' this fool, Don Royce time to meet the new King Krool

Did u forget a line?? Am I missing something ?? Was this tied into the last bar either way it seems ur structure is off 2 lines to a bar clearly the structure is off

but I ain't gonna let an ape beat his chest n shit
I'ma bust a couple grapes, fill his head with lead and emptiness
šŸ§šŸ§šŸ§ Fillerish no real punch here
2/10

I will leave nothin' less, wonderin' if he's shameless droppin' excrement
or is it confidence to record his shit, listen back and still be postin' it?
I couldn't follow the flow or catch the punch here at all excrement/ postin it?? Where's the ryhmes an connection I get the concept execution was poor imo 2/10

Lord please deliver us, Exodus from his written diss, his audio miss, never even had a last hit
Washed up in this LA ghost town, and I ain't no exorcist, but I still wish you would fuckin' quit
This is by far your strongest bar pretty much perfection here u need more of this type shit threw out ur verse this is dope 9/10

this is it, a shot you should not miss, opportunity knocks better answer it
I am not Kind to my son, throw this Kratos bitch into the River Styx
Ok I see u u r rolling now great crew flip loves the tie ins 8/10

leave AliceWondering where the Mad Hatter is, White Rabbit out the hat, magic trick

Filler no real punch here 2/10

Wasn't enough, I had to make the Brotha's body disappear
finally somethin' good comin' out this fuckin' year
This was a funny read but again no real punch concept could have worked if worded different closers should be one of if not ur strongest bar gotta end on something the people will remember 4/10

35/80 overall this verse had alot of potential though I though it was structured poorly

Overall decent battle but mvgt the guy with the higher score an better structure
Mvgt goose
I'll explode at the drop of a dime like proximity mines
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BG for me the verse was pretty solid overall stylistically and I liked the added touch of the carry over multi in most of the bars. That (A)bomb a nation bar was better the second time I read it and the triplicate packed multis in some of the bars like "The Goose is morbid rude and if i were you i'd of killed myself after dropping fortitude" were good for the flow. I'mma break it down.

Handle beef?? Na he's just trying to cook a slab of goose meat,
Bitch please! BG never ducks I hunt and murder dudes absolutely!!

I mean it was a bit sloppy in the way the syllables felt slammed into the punchline at the end there and generic in that this bar could be said about anyone though there are 16 bars and while it's builds, it could've been more direct

We're Toe to toe now though, I bet you're ass is bit shaken within,
Seeing me in a topical? Ha! You aint got enough length to your pen!

A line like 'now we're deucing' at the start coulda carried that multi over into this bar and had it run the course of the whole thing naamean and the lack of continuity between the setup and the punchline had this one fall a bit flat thematically. The missing a after the is and the lack of rhyme in the 'bit shaken within'/'nough length to your pen' was a bit meh. Also a bit generic

Battle with men? bet your into some weird shit like bottom domination,
In conversation? Even God thinks your gay ass in an Abomination!

Aiit a bit of nameplay coming into it and kinda a funny and weird setup, I see the connection between the setup and the punch but the connection is lost for me in the calling him gay stuff idk that's pretty 90's

Goose is calm and patient, but letting Absolute drop on this site's up surd,
If I needed to promote a book tomorrow I still wouldn't let him write the blurb!

I liked this bar it felt more clinical and was a good mix of being direct towards him but it felt like a light jab you know, it's a bit more like ooh burn. Calm and patient linked it aiit to Abomination at the end of the last bar

Bite the curb or pillow and I'll still bet you'll be getting a hysterectomy next,
Trust you'll have to stitch your asshole like Edward Norton in American History X!

I had to break this bar down to try to figure out what was going on cos I've seen the movie and it turns out that a hysterectomy is getting ur womb taken out, the biting the curb thing is what happened in the movie and was pretty racist and biting a pillow was maybe a link back to the bottom domination line and while I liked the 'hysterectomy next'/'American History X' rhyme and found the setup and structure real nice, the connect with AA was missing for me

This Kid's visibly hexed! I'll check in like next, you should just forfeit dude,
The Goose is morbid rude and if i were you i'd of killed myself after dropping fortitude.

Nice yeah, I liked this bar, the inners and the multisyllable opener linking the bar before, this was like a step up from the last bars

Watch me scorch a noob! My combinations be hitting him like body/head,
Im John Gotti bred! You can look for help from Scotty, but my shotty says that Scotty's dead!

This was a nice bar too, I like that inner rhyme going on at the open linking it again. It was like u shook some rust off in the opening bars for a bit or something and then thrown a couple hooks. Could've been more personal still cos this could be said to anyone but fuck it was pretty funny

You couldn't free verse while handing Dobby threads! Stop this man like Kim Jong the King Kong of Asians,
I don't sing songs but my Elton John's  dropping Rockets Man and ill (A)bomb a nation!

I mean structurally this bar could have been tidier, it hung over the bottom of my browser window that setup was so much longer than all the other lines lol but it connected and sat with a cool nameplay and a pretty effective haymaker style punchline on it. Overall it could have been tidier and that but it was effective for the job required. Multis and nameplay and connections abounded but could have been improved on with the use of other writing techniques to crank out some more villainous verse.

AA on reading ur verse through the first time it fell flat for me. The second time it fell flat even though some parts were creative. Uv shown growth but I think u were outmatched in this point in the tournament. Rhymes were short and stretched and structure was loose as, I'll break it down for you too in the hopes that it'll help ur style keep improving.

The matter-of-fact is I'd never duck-duck brotha goose
I buck-buck shotty shoot spray his brain matter loose

The dashes in between matter, of and fact were unnecessary right? I tried to figure that out for a minute and gave up. The flip on what he said was a bit lame, the fact that only goose/loose and buck/duck rhymed was lame and it was a bit void of any original wordplay as an opener for me. While it was a bit graphic it could have been more creative.

What's it matter if you lose, hung up in the noose?
blow off this birds roof, leave him slumped in the chicken coop

The setup didn't setup to anything here so the chicken and bird in your jab didn't connect u see cos birds and chickens aren't just out here hanging themselves. I want more multisyllabillic rhyming at this point cos it's a bit like reading a Dr Seuss with the lose/noose/roof/coop. Nothing else was really going on rhythmically so it felt a bit herp derp to read

I stay chin checkin' this fool, Don Royce time to meet the new King Krool
but I ain't gonna let an ape beat his chest n shit

At this stage I'm like what do Don Royce and King Krool have to do with BG and apes beating their chests n shit. This lost me ae I get that chest n shit rhymes with emptiness in the next bar and that fool rhymes with Krool but it was just like all up in the air and what the fuck

I'ma bust a couple grapes, fill his head with lead and emptiness
I will leave nothin' less, wonderin' if he's shameless droppin' excrement

Oh cos it's a goose and ur a hunter or something? Idk this was a whole lot of misguided, the setup to the punch was kind of wafting around what you were wondering about or something, it didn't connect as a rap battle bar on any kind of level for me

or is it confidence to record his shit, listen back and still be postin' it?
Lord please deliver us, Exodus from his written diss, his audio miss, never even had a last hit

Rhyming shit, hit, it, diss and miss made me cringe then u prayed to god for help and that. This is a bit of a disappointing way to be rounding ur battle verse up against such a good battler. While ur stats are similar to BGs it really shows that his experience at this is a few worlds apart yet, you could learn a lot from even taking some of the advice in some of the votes on this battle seriously and from other battlers and their verse in this tournament though. When ur rhyming it and hit u got a way to go homie.

Washed up in this LA ghost town, and I ain't no exorcist, but I still wish you would fuckin' quit
this is it, a shot you should not miss, opportunity knocks better answer it

In this bar you rhymed quit and it so it wasn't that far from the last bar really ae. You made a wish and told BG he had some opportunity if you look at what's happened here. Falling a bit flat.

I am not Kind to my son, throw this Kratos bitch into the River Styx
leave AliceWondering where the Mad Hatter is, White Rabbit out the hat, magic trick

While the Kratos and River Styx knowledge was kinda cool and a bit more could have been done with that. U then brought Alice in Wonderland in and ur battling against someone called Brotha Goose. Wondering if ur just taking the actual piss at this point.

Wasn't enough, I had to make the Brotha's body disappear
finally somethin' good comin' out this fuckin' year

Bit of a wup wow moment. Yes 2020 was shit but like u didn't make any body disappear and you rhymed pear and year so ur closing punchline like the one that we all came out to see and vote on to see if u would get to the next round with was quite weak AA. Expected better but hey we're all elevating and here for the culture. In this battle though I think you got bodied even if it was an average win for BG,

MVGT Brotha Goose
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this was a really good battle. Good job guys but this one was kinda str8 forward for a clear winner for me.


Both versus had really good rhyme scheme that were on point and the multis and metas were there. Brotha goose i thought that your shit was good and you had some heav personals in there. The fortiude bar was a direct hit and your closing bar was also a direct hit with excellent wordplay.

AA - what i likd about your verse the most was the aggression u braught with it. Your opener reewlly set the tone for the whole versee. However i think you used a little too many multis and yohr concepts ki da got over powered by your multis and word play. I also think that yohr personals just hit a little less hard.

For heavier hitting punches and slightly better personals 

MVGT- GOOSE
NUMBER 1 FEMALE MC TILL THE DEATH OF ME
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 November 2020 at 7:34pm
3-0 Brother Goose.

Well i can't close this battle yet for some reason, but i'll be back..peace
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote levy420 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 November 2020 at 7:59pm
It's actually 3 1 whilst is why u can't close it first to 5 votes wins (yikes an ur a moderator an don't know how to count votes even when u have a vote šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£šŸ¤£)
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 November 2020 at 8:13pm
Cough..normally it's the best out of 5 votes,hence why ko's exist, and seens
it doesn't state in the rules dropped by T on the voting structure, then surely
house rules apply..peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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