Text Battle Archive: [Text] E.V.P. vs Nigma (5-3)

It’s too late.

Tbh these little statements seemed like unnecessary afterthoughts. They didn't add much to your rap for me.

In an instant, I realized time is precious.. I’m fine but my family’s infected, vanity’s a blessing.
And I love them no less so it won’t be a slow death.. No cure, it’s the man in me confessing.

Looks more like long bar style to your drop at first impression, flow was aiit, some of the complexity in your multis had them seem stretched. First drop I've read from you but your style is aiit

Take stock of days lost, I wonder if I’ll change.. Wife n kids are going through my brain a lot.
Misread all the signs that I came across.. N now my heart so heavy, it’s almost a pain to walk.

Liked this bar, related to it aiit, feels like a scene is being set. Only indication of it being aligned with the topic so far is the word 'infected' in the 1st bar but keeps the reader interested cos of the concept developing, idk if this was intentional or not. 'heart so heavy' could have been like laden heart to fit in with the multis of the inners but 2nd bar was aiit

But I can’t stop, lost n exhausted.. Tears flow with fear, a lil reflection mirrors how I felt today.
They say LA’s overrun.. Riot of braindead biters but it’s quiet as the sun begins to melt away..

1st and second bars were more thought out it seems looking at this bar, you've got felt today/melt away but the rest of the bar looks to be fairly void of inner rhymes. Keeping with the topic in knowing what it is with the 'braindead' word otherwise it still seems to be setting a scene and it might have been a good idea to have delved more into the topic by this bar

Still, everyday’s a battle to stay fresh.. Zombies try to take flesh, sucks how easily it happens.
Remain calm despite the death that awaits us.. We wake up n see what we can scavenge.

Inner and outer rhymes were ok, some more complexity with your rhyme scheme would be good to see in that it would link the lines of the bar with more flow

Food n water, medicine n ammo, collect weapons like Rambo.. Are we forgetting anything?
Transportation to greener pastures.. This could be the Rapture, I’m not embellishing a thing.

Your rhymes here are ammo/rambo, anything/ing a ing and pasture/rapture which seemed forced/stretched although it rhymes in a poetic sense. Again more complexity would help your style evolve and would have been good to see. Knowing what the topic is I see how this fits but to a reader that didn't it still could be seen that the topic/concept is being developed halfway into the stanza

The next day.

I staggered forth from the tree-line n b-lined to an overturned bus in the middle of the road..
But little did I know a hooded figure lingered.. Zoomed in, his movements deliberate n slow.

Would have liked to see a 'didda didda doh' rhyme in the start of the first line, I guess the tree-line/b-line thing rhymed and made up for it. I still have to look at the topic of the verse when reading this bar, still hasn't connected with the topic by the 6th bar to me

“Stop!” ..By chance met Nigma, he posted up.. Sniper in hand for those that get close enough.
Before I knew it a horde came into view, forced to do it.. “Work together n there’s hope for us.”

A 'doh dih duh' rhyme in the start of the second line would have added flow to this bar rather than the fore I knew it/forced to do it. There seems to be a lack of clarity in the writing of the second line like was the horde forced to do it or were you forced to say 'work together...'? Feels like it is still building up to be on topic in this bar

Reluctantly, he let his guard down.. They weren’t far now.. Could hear the moaning n shuffling.
He laid his gun on the ground, knew I had to take-arms ..Know he didn’t notice me chuckling.

I see it's somewhat a style you use in that you go rhyme a, rhyme a, rhyme b, rhyme c, rhyme c, rhyme b in these bars, the second inner rhyme of the second bar didn't quite fit for me. Otherwise this bar was ok, still feels like it's building up to the topic though and it's quite late in the verse to be doing that

As I feel cold steel, I uppercut the gun butt to his throat.. Stunned, he did nothing but choke.
Befuddled he bumbled about, we struggled but his comeuppance provoked, enough of this joke.

An opinion thing only but the cold steel part of the first line didn't quite fit for me in the flow though it's a good descriptor, rhythmically it didn't fit. Still not quite on topic, I'm not sure really as a reader what is happening at this point of the stanza tbh

Lifted instead.. Let him roll off my back, kicks to the head to crush those dreams of making it.
Push him over the edge.. They start to rip him to shreds cause there’s no getting away from it.

On topic in the last bar where you say: 'Push him over the edge.. They start to rip him to shreds' but I really only know that by knowing what the topic is. Similar to Nigmas, you used a predictable ending. It would be a good idea to try to write the piece on topic earlier in the verse maybe and to be on topic throughout more vividly so that even in not knowing what the topic is it's evident right the rhyme through. You have a really cool style that seems random in parts of your verse and although you seem fairly new to topical battling you told an aiit story and weren't completely off topic. Multis could use some elongating in some places but an aiit read.

It’s still survival of the fittest.

Yep.

For being closer to the topic and a match with flow and other elements MVGT Nigma.