Forum LockedText Battle Archive: [Text] iLL ScriptureZ vs DJFlame [3-0]

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iLL ScriptureZ View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: [Text] iLL ScriptureZ vs DJFlame [3-0]
    Posted: 17 July 2017 at 5:08pm
Rules as agreed upon in call out thread are as follows:

Bars - Unlimited
Due Date - 48 Hours - 7/19/2017


Edited by Endeavor - 21 July 2017 at 10:52am
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 July 2017 at 4:01pm
I ain’t even spittin’ I’m just gonna talk to'em…Look

You’re about to be a martyr when I slaughter rounds first
That Shady record you hold doesn’t seem like a slaughterhouse perk
There’s no weight to your bars barely a quarter pounds’ worth
Battle of the elements when Flame drops a watered down verse
[Your battle with Dizz is “real tight” - I’m serious it feels like… “mysterious” 
To the point I realized you’re speakin’ from real life experience
Elite tried saving your audios, you claimed your mic is shit when
It didn’t write the shit lyrics you were spittin’ 
 So it got me thinkin’… of your character traits & image
Maximal effort was given, reality hit you with a ragin’ quickness
Deflected your failures on everything but yourself to be waived forgiveness 
Then entitled yourself as fire - but you bein’ Flame’s a gimmick!
Now you have to deal with that reflection of your faces of fiction
Cuz deep down inside it seems you have created a vision
Of somethin’ you are not, tied to greatness & wisdom
Not understandin’ that in the real world you earn to make a livin’
I’m sayin’ this cuz as a father I get see the way its scripted 
Your walkin’ aimless in a world without a dad to stay & listen 
Turnin’ to rap as a way to distance yourself from the rage & friction
That do or die time is suicide so let me save you minutes!!!
Only time I’m a bitch is when murderin’ this teen through text 
Your only good critique was from Rap Daemons frequent sexts 
Then you went & dissed the weakest writer since Rapper T’s has left
Guess you’re the type to chew off the only hands that feed you best
I'll leave you stretched like Nigmas old schemes he flexed 
Call me a biter But I have more respect then you'd ever seem to get
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 July 2017 at 9:07pm

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This was nice scap in a desolate battlefiled.

Ill, I like the more freestyle aspect of your verse, adding more variety than the standard filler\punch x 5 format. I would like to see more verses like these. You mixed punches, jabs, personals and general dissing pretty well. Could perhaps benefit with a couple of more killers just to seal the deal, but overall pretty good.


Flame, a more standard verse, a decent one at that. The "Ill you straight" line was pretty dope from punch perspective. The rest was aight tho playing on his name got old after the second bar. With a little tweaking and some diverse angling you could have some good stuff in the making.

As for vote, Ill utilised the unlimited bars rule and came in with all sorts of badgering, meanwhile flame had the punch of the battle but otherwize came up short in comparison. This would been more interesting and close if Flame had dropped the same amount of lines, but he didn't so vote Ill here for doing the most damage.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 July 2017 at 10:11pm

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So Ill you already have the fundamentals down I don't feel like critiquing your verse line by line is provide any value. The only thing I will say, is I feel like you could have done an equal amount of damage with half as many lines. I know it was blind and unlimited and you were going for a middle ground in case he dropped a novel, but as it is, it just seems like overkill.



DJ I feel like you would benefit most from a line by line breakdown so here goes...


Your guys'll come shady as fuck, not to mention your text is boring
Only time you heard "ILL you straight" was coloring someone else's stories

- so the "shady as fuck" part, i had to scratch my head a little and ponder  A.) was this really a blind drop? I know it wasn't set as part of the rules specifically which brings me to B.) if this was an attempt at feeding to rebuttle the line, then I kind of feel like you wasted an opportunity. Not to mention "your guys'll" it's not a group battle and thus you have all this wasted space in a line that could be connecting the dots to a punch. Now onto the "Ill You Straight" the concept is dope, as far as I know I have not seen anyone use it, BUT i have a quarrel with the fact you said "ill YOU straight" when a simple change-up of words could have made the actual wordplay on "Illustrate" way more potent than it really was due to the misuse of  the first bar and the wording on Ill you straight instead of ill is straight. 


And your audios only have gangster appeal, but you haven't struggled in life dude
Got the wrong Mac users when you heard they were the ones bumping them I-tunes

I see where you were going with this and this landed a hell of a lot harder than the previous set-up/punch combo so props on this one.


You've yet to land a hit in your battles, I bet you're still counting your rhymes
Cuz iLL-power comes from copying shit that was dope in 2005

I feel like Ill pre-rebuttled this and took some steam out of it. It was a fairly simple line to start with and to lose what effect it held just killed any hopes of this sticking. In the future I would be more meticulous about how you word a biter line they're so over-used (on anyone, anywhere) it's kind of got the same taboo as a defeat/da feet bar does anymore unless you word it cleverly.


Talks like he has a Des, but I doubt that this battle's a closer
Cuz weve learned Ill-Eagle Ammo can always be traced back to it's owner

This was a much better hit, like how you carried the theme Des(ert) to Eagle and Ammo... just all around better concept and execution here.


Your top Open Mics are all collabs, by now my target is blackened
And we only see I-ball when everything's harder around it

I see where you were going with this and it was an ok concept. But I will say unless someone goes by just their first letter of their name anymore, lines like this just hold no value. It's become a way of forcing a nameplay out of just the first letter. That'd be like someone using an R/Arrgh line on me (please put your keyboard away if you actually thought of this before)


I'm not going to give point values to the lines here I just feel like overall out of DJ's verse I got 2 hits and Ill's verse was full of jabs, and as I see it, did more damage that DJ's

Vote - Ill Scripturez
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 July 2017 at 8:05pm

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Ill - To start this definitely seemed more like an Open Mic diss than a battle verse. Kinda the same thing with audio, at least for me there is a distinction between a battle verse and a diss. A battle verse seems to have more aggression and single out each bar for a heavy punch. Hard to really put it in words, but I can see a difference. 

As far as the content goes you had a couple clever nameplays, couple decent personals. It was pretty solid all around and flowed well. Nothing really standoutish or to knock your opponent out with but I thought it was consistent in throwing little shots at him and you had plenty of bars aimed his way you did it with. 

Flame - You had the right ideas for the most part and failed execution. The Ill you straight bar had dope concept, dope personal punch. But Ill you straight is forced for me as that is not the way it is pronounced. I really liked the idea but the wordplay was a stretch. The Ill Eagle ammo bar was the best one of your verse in terms of the whole bar working and seeming fluent. The I-Tunes, I-Ball bars are more suited with someone with the name of eye or like I-Kontinue. But For example, thats like using 'Concrete' and writing a C nameplay. That can be used on Cuba, Concrete, Crimson Juice, Ch3k, Chain. It's just too open, not the most creative of ideas. 

MVGT: Ill - Both had the right ideas and didn't executed them to the best of their ability for different reasons. DJ was wording and Ill was because the approach he took the battle was more of a lighthearted OM diss rather than battle insults. Overall, Ill just brought more to the table here, more lines obviously = more punches and his verse was just a smoother read throughout.
Go my Minions!


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 July 2017 at 8:06pm
With that said, this ends at 3-0KO
Go my Minions!


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