Forum LockedText Battle Archive: [Text] joffy428Vs DJFlame2

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joffy428 View Drop Down
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Joined: 11 January 2015
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Points: 93

Text Rank: #14
Stats: 0-12-0
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote joffy428 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: [Text] joffy428Vs DJFlame2
    Posted: 25 January 2020 at 11:55pm
What's up DJ here mr DJ keep playing that song for the backstreetboys    like u getting paid hourly to BJ them also every other week but it's good enough to feed someone right? so I salute you bum but dam that's weak son just sign up for adsense Create a content.website about yourself DJ Flame content is burning down but still earning now better than giving Bjs while being a DJ backstage shit lost tapes uncensored scenes of DJ flame
so u got game? Hot stuff? Ur gonna get your asskicked by the thugs asslicked by the Fags who's your idol hellboy or spawn your name says your death threat I'll make a big bet that your turn to ashes to ashes and back to dirt hit u where it hurts next time your scared go to church instead of changing ur name to something insane if ur a flame thrower I'm a snow blower if ur the twin tower I'm bin laden.

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DjFlame2 View Drop Down
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Joined: 16 August 2019
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote DjFlame2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 March 2020 at 7:39am
I didn't read your shit but you're taking a loss
Don't mean your tag when you need some space to J off
A lot of faggot shit, guess I have to flip it all then
Should join Syndicate if you're interested in pitching con tent
I turn to ashes, burning myself with verses I write
You turn to Ash's when you looking for words of advice
This isn't hot shit after all of this talk of destroying me
In one bar...... Maybe if this was Rap Royalty
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Crimson Juice View Drop Down
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Joined: 20 December 2015
Location: U.K.
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Points: 3133
Crew: Lyricist Inc.

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 March 2020 at 12:25pm

This vote has been accepted by a moderator.


WOW a battle to vote on finally...

Joffy, first let me just type you need to structure your verse, damn at
a glance all i saw was a wall of words, and to be honest this took a lot
away from your drop, as it resembled a hemorrhage, your lines just bled
into each other continuously hiding your disses and shit, in fact i had to
read it twice to catch what you were trying to say, and the plays on his
alias were weak to be truthful, i'm not here to piss on your steak let me
type now, you need to research your opponent, find damning post that
you could use to get personal and make a more gritty punch from...


DJ, although your verse was on the light side of things, you did in a lazy
fashion got at him with minimal effort it seemed, your drop came off as
more in the vein of back the fuck up and stay in your lane, you had a few
jabs that mattered and landed, still did enough to take this...


Vote..DJ....peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Goryo. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Goryo. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 March 2020 at 4:05pm

This vote has been accepted by a moderator.


Alright Joffy there are a lot of things that need addressed here. This is a text battle, on an online forum, where the aim of the game is to write your verse as clearly as possible while fitting as many hard-hitting and relevant punches in as you can without it being over saturated and messy. I'm not hating, or trying to get on a high horse, but these are the points you need to consider if you want to win battles. You have an audience to convince, and you don't want to leave doubt in anyone's mind.

I see you've had 10 battles so I'll give you your dues for going at it and being persistent but here is some resistance to encourage growth:

Write it in lines, the way DJ has
Set up and execute relevant punches instead of randomly scattering generic and unfocused disses all over the paragraph
Tighten up the rhymes and force the readers to feel how it flows

I hope to see you get better and bring good stuff man, any pointers needed just look at all the talented guys dropping here and either read up or reach out. 

Flame was obviously more structured, direct, had a couple name plays. All around just tighter and what little he chose to bring was obviously all that was needed in this case. Kinda just had the bare minimum for what you'd expect in a battle verse. Ticked some boxes, got the job done without really trying. That is also a put-down in itself to an opponent.

Flame gets my vote. Joffy, all the best to you. Let's see what you've got down the line.
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Crimson Juice View Drop Down
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Joined: 20 December 2015
Location: U.K.
Status: Offline
Points: 3133
Crew: Lyricist Inc.

Text Rank: Unranked
Stats: 6-11-0
Form: LLLWLW
Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 March 2020 at 5:56pm
3-0 KO awarded to DJ..
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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