Forum LockedDisqualification Archive: [Text] Lord Puente vs ANNIHILATOR (2-3)

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Direct Link To This Post Topic: [Text] Lord Puente vs ANNIHILATOR (2-3)
    Posted: 12 July 2016 at 6:10pm
5 bars
48 hours




Edited by Endeavor - 17 July 2016 at 10:03am
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 July 2016 at 6:20pm
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 July 2016 at 9:41pm
EXPOS
says he's here to gain skill and knowledge.
LP, his initials/ when artists drop a record it's known as an LP. Debut record means first record.
Said his wife was in the hospital for a few days
he already got a ban warning
Stalemate is a chess position where the king has no moves left
Puente means "bridge" in Spanish/ Texas railway was one of the biggest bridge burnings
For the closer: prey/pray




You claim you came to LA, to "grow in skill and knowledge", and we praise true effort
but aye newb check it, I'ma drop an LP for the first time, like this my debut record!

Bet it! I will go hard! My skill so sharp, with a pen, I'm like a chef with a knife.
Punches hit fierce. Mess with your life. Have ya laying in the hospital bed next to your wife!

Understand it dude, You done managed to, fuck with a savage who, will damage you!
And it's true, You aint Lord to shit! That's why ya here for two, days and they already talkin bout banning you

dammit newb! This aint even fair play! .. LORD??! .. If you a king, this here's at best, a stalemate.
To murder chumps, bet, I can't wait! Lyrics flare straight, fire til Puente collapse like the Texas railway

And aye, though I murder so gracefully. I normally don't have much hate in me, but you're comin off fake and see
basically, it's apparent, you aint what you claim to be. Cos, how could YOU be a "Lord", when you, .. prey to ME?!!

I don't get it ...

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 July 2016 at 12:08am

i'll annihilate annihilator 'now and later',/
spit him out on a piece of paper cuz he out of flavor,/

your girl already seen my chambers, now ima take her,/
she your "unconditional love" but Lord her savior,/

individually bruh, you on some small shit, actually, long shit,/
my god, bitch, boy coughin' out pebbles while im vomiting rockets,/

you starting with soft shit, leave me living and breathing on a hospital bed? /
next time bring some rawness cuz I aint scared of a threat that aint leaving me dead,/

simply said, he a faux foe typing on his keyboard thinking he pull wins,/
Lord grab his fo' fo' for this homo, walks in when his screen loads emptying full clips./

 

Info:
Bar 1: now and later is a taffy type candy
Bar 2: he had OM called "unconditional love" about music
Bar 3: his bar is essentially 4 lines because they between 40-60 syllables per bar in order to land hard hits when I use less for same effect.
Bar 4: his threat was to lay me in a hospital bed...not kill me. half measure.
Bar 5: imagery

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 July 2016 at 12:23am

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Ann

You claim you came to LA, to "grow in skill and knowledge", and we praise true effort
but aye newb check it, I'ma drop an LP for the first time, like this my debut record!
Pretty dope opener nice wordplay with the nameplay nice

Bet it! I will go hard! My skill so sharp, with a pen, I'm like a chef with a knife.
Punches hit fierce. Mess with your life. Have ya laying in the hospital bed next to your wife!
Decent prrsonal angle but not really a hard punch more of a statement nice aggression in the set up but in my eyes u failed to bring that aggression in the punchline still a great concept an good play on his own om

Understand it dude, You done managed to, fuck with a savage who, will damage you!
And it's true, You aint Lord to shit! That's why ya here for two, days and they already talkin bout banning you
This made me chuckle

dammit newb! This aint even fair play! .. LORD??! .. If you a king, this here's at best, a stalemate.
To murder chumps, bet, I can't wait! Lyrics flare straight, fire til Puente collapse like the Texas railway
This was flames right here perfect play executed dam near flawlessly

And aye, though I murder so gracefully. I normally don't have much hate in me, but you're comin off fake and see
basically, it's apparent, you aint what you claim to be. Cos, how could YOU be a "Lord", when you, .. prey to ME?!!
Nice closer like the lord pray/prey word play its a bit lengthy but u came wit multues an internals to really bring it full circle good hit

Overall this was a good verse u brought some good angles an concepts with verry few flaws lets see what lord brings to the table

Vs

Lord


i'll annihilate annihilator 'now and later',/
spit him out on a piece of paper cuz he out of flavor,/
Eh not really feeling this

your girl already seen my chambers, now ima take her,/
she your "unconditional love" but Lord her savior,/
This was decent but ima fuck youre wife plays are kinda played out although it had a good flow to it not seeing much damage

individually bruh, you on some small shit, actually, long shit,/
my god, bitch, boy coughin' out pebbles while im vomiting rockets,/
This seemed more like self hype then anything
No real punch to be found

you starting with soft shit, leave me living and breathing on a hospital bed? /
next time bring some rawness cuz I aint scared of a threat that aint leaving me dead,/
Good flip on his bar


simply said, he a faux foe typing on his keyboard thinking he pull wins,/
Lord grab his fo' fo' for this homo, walks in when his screen loads emptying full clips./
Nice imagery here probably youre best bar

Overall a decent battle verse but you lacked aggression. You got the right idea for the most part but really have to work on building better punches an coming aggressive stay up


With that being said mvgt ann for having better punches an word play while keeping a solid flow with smooth transitions

Mvgt annihilater
I'll explode at the drop of a dime like proximity mines
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 July 2016 at 1:19am

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ok let's get it

ANNIHILATOR: thought this came in well enough but seemed to fiction add more of an announcement than having a legit punch...so essentially you've only given yourself 4 bars to defeat him. the next bar seeps I'll with a self hype I'm like a chef theme that goes into a punch that doesn't really relate directly...the punch does possess a personal, which I'm meh about.
so it's bar 3 that catches my interest. ignoring the overuse of commas i enjoyed the flow of it hoping it wouldn't get played out...the resultant punch was a decent personal...though it did feel similar to a punch you had in another battle...i also would like more concept link from setup to punch.

bar 4 had 2 different themes linked only by their target. the stalemate line was a bit of a miss because while it allows for the angle, the punch attached is weak. the second half had an interesting concept off the name but wasnt a crazy hard shot either.

the final bar was complete from setup to punch. ..but did come across a bit heavy handed in running that "8 an C' sounding scheme. ..you ended up stating 2 phrases with the identical point (coming off fake/ain't what you claim to be) before a solid final shot.

overall i think this wasn't bad, but it was as if it couldn't make up its mind about what kind of battle verse to be and threw too much in.

LP: so this verse did the opposite...it seemed quite clear that the flow and scheme was at the forefront...

the first bar was ok...without the expo i would've been at a loss as to understand.   this moved into a bar of the "i banged your girl,daughter, mom, grandma, wife" variety that i just find boring

the 3 bar started really well in a commentary on his massive lines and then showing their relatively small level of impact. ..but you decided to make it contrast with your apparently massive effect...i think it would have worked better just to stick with the "for all those words you're saying a whole lotta nothing" approach..

really liked your next bar, pointing an apparent lack of a killer instinct..thought you could've brought his stalemate play into this as well...

your final shot was something I'm used to seeing closer to the middle of a battle verse that's switching gears in that it was more flash than bang..don't get me wrong, it's not bad or anything...but it isn't the type line that has people (like me anyhow)going "ooooh!"

so i was back and forth on this as i read and reread...i could see it going either way. .but despite being annoyed that LP didn't bring harder-hitting flips than the ones he brought, i went with him for having what felt like complete bars that flowed smoothly.

vote: Lord Bridge


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 July 2016 at 3:59pm

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This was an okay battle here but i felt that both were very statement ish.

ANNILATOR: I liked your internal multi's which were plentiful and executed correctly structure wise but i felt your bars were a bit yo extended for my taste which kind of took away from a couple of your punches mommentum. Like here:

"

Understand it dude, You done managed to, fuck with a savage who, will damage you!
And it's true, You aint Lord to shit! That's why ya here for two, days and they already talkin bout banning you"

Not sure about the wife line, it is dope if there is a reason that would make it personal, if not it wouldnt be a diss to me in my opnion. 

However i felt that your closed out strong with a good metaphor in the fourth bar and you ended aggresivley which was good but most of the bars seemed a bit less punchy and more statementish but not by much. 

FAVORITE BAR:

"And aye, though I murder so gracefully. I normally don't have much hate in me, but you're comin off fake and see
basically, it's apparent, you aint what you claim to be. Cos, how could YOU be a "Lord", when you, .. prey to ME?!! "

I will not dock you for the lack of personal elements in your bars however because you did what you could with what you had which was pretty good given the noob status of your opponent. 

LORD PU3ENTE: Again, your bars also had a statementish feel to them however they leaned more on the punch side because the lines were not to elongated. Like here. 

"ou starting with soft shit, leave me living and breathing on a hospital bed? /
next time bring some rawness cuz I aint scared of a threat that aint leaving me dead,"

^^ your just stating he cant leave you dead with a bar, but you dont loose that concept in the words. 

I also took note of your name play in the opener which was okay to me, but your bars definatley lacked a personal quality more than your opponents bars and you are the battleler that if you did your research, has a bit more to work with. 

FAVORIT BAR: 

"i'll annihilate annihilator 'now and later',/

spit him out on a piece of paper cuz he out of flavor,/

"Punch wise this is your best shot that landed that was not a statementish feel. 

This one was really close but i am going to have to say, due to the better cohesive aspects of the bars with the punch that hit the most in the battle 

MVGT_ PUENTE
NUMBER 1 FEMALE MC TILL THE DEATH OF ME
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 July 2016 at 11:32pm

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A1: Cracking opener right here. Really nicely done. The nameplay to the punch works well. But if I had to be critical, which of course I do, it would be nice if the setup connected to the punch more.

A2: Decent again. Nice use of a personal. And I'm really nit-picking here, but the setup seems slightly cluttered due to the 'with a pen' so I'd have considered rewording slightly maybe "pen so sharp, I'm like a chef with a knife." Thought it landed Ok though.

A3: Love this, the rolling multis through the setup were great. The punch was funny, and good relevant personal, but it's a shame after the pace set in that setup that you couldn't place another multi in the middle of the punch, as it would seem more balanced.

A4: Creative punch, a little wordy, but reads well and lands well.

A5: And for me this is just too long. Of course the multis are nice, but all in all not working as well as previous multi laden bar. The pray/prey play was pretty well executed, and ultimately it did work well as a closer.

---------

L1: I liked the attempt here, cos it builds a good rhythm using stressed syllables, however it reads like it's trying to multi in places where it doesn't multi ... I'm sure 'piece of paper' was never meant be part of the multi but as it's quite close it sounds like it should, and just finding a synonym for 'piece' would improve this. Also I started thinking this was one of those bars that only had meaning in one direction ... then I realised "out-spit him on paper"... so this could have been a huge bar if worded differently.

L2: Nicely structured short bar. A bit old school though, like Levy said. And is referencing a title of his OM really a personal though? Just a bit self hypey and flipping your own name, no hit at all.

L3: Sorry not feeling this. I get what you're saying here, reasonable personal, but worded badly IMO. And the punch just comes across as more self hype.

L4: I know flips are allowed, but I personally don't agree with the concept of a spurious advantage to whoever posts second. But that aside, this was a decent flip. I thought that not much thought went into the wording of the setup. But the rhythm and aggression of the punch was really nice. (But again you have managed to make a half multi ... whereas just finding a synonym for 'scared' to fit the multi and it will be even nicer... 2 ideas just off the top 'I've no fear of a threat that ain't leaving me dead' or 'I don't believe in a threat that ain't leaving me dead' ... just thoughts.

L5: decent bar to finish, not the best as a closer but pretty well executed.


So....




MFVGT Ann "Big Game Al" Ihilator
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 July 2016 at 4:48am

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Game - Decent verse, had several cool concepts. Wife personal was decent, could have been used a bit more aggressively but it works. Liked the Texas railway bar as well. The playing off the 'lord' got repetitive when there were many different bars you could have constructed against him and you only got 5 bars to work with. Little bit of filler in your verse to keep rhyme schemes up and make it sound smooth. I realize you may be rusty if you weren't off writing elsewhere and just came back though. Just my observation, still decent verse but can use some work to shake off the rust. 

Lord Puente - TBH, not really sure how you received a vote in this battle. Just saying it like it is. Your verse was really lacking any true direction and execution for your punches. It was very basic concepts with simplistic schemes. You had a half ass attempt to flip his hospital bed bar, 2nd bar you attempted a personal but did nothing but use his OM name in the bar. Really had no creative reletivity to the name of the OM, let alone dissing him for it. 3rd bar, with the personal that he has long ass bars had no connection and was poorly worded. Without the expo no one would have any idea where you were going with it. And needless the say the opener and closer that I did not mention wasn't up to par either. I suggest you head over to elevation centre or drop some OM's and get feedback to improve. Stay up, keep battling as well. That's the only way your gonna get better. 

MVGT: Game
#BANANAS


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 July 2016 at 12:14pm
Originally posted by Lord Puente Lord Puente wrote:

Looks like there is an extra vote in here that doesn't exist. Should be 2-3 on votes so far
You are correct, but at 3-2 it is already Battle to Big Ann. (Site rules are best of 5)
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 July 2016 at 4:23am
changed to a DQ. as a big game alias.

Lord Puente to have his loss removed.
#Bananas
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