Forum LockedText Battle Archive: [Text] Rutter knows best vs S Dubb (3-0)

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Direct Link To This Post Topic: [Text] Rutter knows best vs S Dubb (3-0)
    Posted: 20 December 2016 at 2:02pm
Alias Battle
Gambit (rkb) vs Wolverine (s dubb)

6 bars due in 1 week.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 December 2016 at 3:32pm
Check check....  good luck homie this should be fun and interesting.....
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 December 2016 at 2:25pm
I'll Damage your Worth, treat you like your family did when they left you Abandoned at Birth...
Damn It!  That Hurts!  Leave you slurrin' after I slice out ya tongue so you cant Manage ya Words...
Your Attacks don't Faze Me, I'll eat your punches then my healing Fast will Save Me...
Wolverine is Bashing Remy, bust out my claws slice, dice, and Slash like Crazy...
Use trickery in attacks because I'll use Rogue to Seduce this Coward...
I'll be like Sinister because Wolverine is about to Reduce his Power....
Titanium claws or a Deck of Cards?  Which weapon would you Select for Harm...
Wolverine is always Best to Start!  Destroying Gambit Aka Death by Far.....
Hell I've always been considered a Slight Rebel, known to Fight Several...
But none before was ever as easy when taking out the White Devil...
This trader can't decide Who he Is, X-Men or switching to a New Alias...
Choose to Win, although he cant, because Rogue wouldn't even be True with Him....


Expo's
Bar 1- Gambits family left him at birth
Bar 2- Remy is Gambits name, wolverines powers are healing and titanium claws..
Bar 3- Gambit had loved Rogue extremely, and Sinister was who helped gambit with his powers, he had control to reduce or inhance his powers
Bar 4- Gambit best power was using a deck of cards to throw
Bar 5- Wolverine don't like to listen to no one, and gambit's other alias was le diable blance which stands for the white devil
Bar 6- Gambit switched squads like 5 times and changed his name, with x-men was the only ime he ever won, yet Rogue didn't feel the same way for him as he felt for her



Ok there's my verse, good luck homie......
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 December 2016 at 10:55pm
Dealing with a boss, my shit'll fuckin murder fam
The staff'll hit Him harder than Scotty throwing out a perma ban
You don't know how i roll, i bring explosives up in the place
...cards on the table, this gone end up blowing up in ya face
You seen a lot friends die, trade hands with me ya next
I'll end Logans run, this cunt can find his sanctuary in death
With those things on ya face, i got no respect for you bitch
If anyone's feeling side burns i put a fuckin deck to ya ribs
My girl out of this world, so of course she gone wade in
You try touch Rogue One time n you'll feel the Force Awaken
Look at his love life n the girl you'd expect he treasures
Dude sliced up that Jean, like he tryna be an edgy dresser




Expo's - 
Gambit's trademark weapons are exploding Cards and a Staff/Pole
Wolverine has lived through generations.
His name is Logan
Logans Run is a film, the main character is looking for "the sanctuary"
Gambit goes out with Rogue,
one of her powers is she drains the life from you if you make skin contact.
Wolverine was in love with Jean Grae, he kills her with his claws at the end of x men 3

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 December 2016 at 12:42am

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S. Dubb: A 2 things I noticed straight out the gate.
1) Saying Wolverines power is to "heal fast" is technically correct, however, it sounds a little weird to phrase it that way or to not mention the specific name given to that power which is known as a "healing factor" and just not healing "fast".
2) I'm entirely certain that the primary (if not only) metal wolverine's claws are comprised of is adamantium and not titanium, which is probably the most well known and most heard of alloy in all of comics... sooooo, yeah.

Anyway, I liked your first line. It was a well worded diss that tied into the theme quite nicely and also worked as an effective battle bar on its own. The follow up line was cool. It wasn't really that hard of a shot, but it worked in terms of imagery. The 3rd line was decent. However, I personally I think had you figured out a way to including " healing factor" as oppose to "healing fast" it would have connected much better ... but that's just my opinion. Also, the wording at the end could have been somewhat better in general. The next two bars were cool. Again, not really hard hitting punches, but nice little ties to the premise. The wording and the common sense comparisons in lines 7&8 are really good, but "titanium" claws???? That kind of made the whole punch invalid for me. Ultimately, a bar like that, one that includes the character's most recognizable feature has to be accurate. I'm not expecting either of you to be comic-book fanboys or comicon geeks or anything, but if you're gonna agree to a battle like this there are a few things that have to be right about the subject-matter chosen. Because saying Wolverine has "titanium claws" is equivalent to saying "Colossus" is made out of aluminum just because his surface is a shiny metal. Feel me? The next two bars are pretty good. Nice flips/entendres. The ending feel flat tho. That is unless I missed something. Overall, this was a fairly consistent and solid verse (minus the two things I made note of above).


RKB: The first two bars were dope. I like the wordplay as it involves both Gambit's staff as well as the site's. In both instances getting hit by either makes perfect sense given the scenario presented. Clever shit, Rutt. In lines 3&4 your wording was dope and I like the imagery. The set-up in the proceeding line is cool and the flip in the bar that follows is pretty solid and has a double meaning. Okay, the next 2 bars were cool. Not really that impressive, but scrolling past those and getting to the Star Wars...and BAM! Best punch thrown in this battle thus far. Really clever and current stuff. Your closing bars were decent. I think they could have been worded better, but...still... pretty decent. Overall: this was a fun and mostly creative verse.

Vote -- RKB

To me he had the better of the two verse. I think his drop read more streamlined, not necessarily more creative punches, but definitely more polished and better executed overall. As for S. Dub ... well, he did have a few nice parts, but most of his stuff worked better in the context of actual X-Men theme as oppose to translating into solid/hard hitting battle bars at the same time...which I'm under the impression is the objective.

Still...entertaining battle. I like the idea of this kind of text/topical mix. Cool stuff. Peace.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 January 2017 at 3:36pm

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S Dubb - Verse had it's ups and downs. It definitely had some good concepts but a couple of those bars the first line which is technically supposed to be a jab/set up line into the punch came off as the punch and then the second line in the bar fell flat. There are also many wording issues, For example line 5, you said use trickery, 4 words later use rogue... First bar also, there is no need for long as lines, the bar would have sounded just as smooth, if not smoother without the filler multi's in the beginning. Generally, you'll notice the shorter 'dope bars' come off alot better than the long stretched out ones. So you definitely want to go through next time and polish up any things that could sound awkward to the voters and clean up and filler and unneeded words that could dent the flow or stretch the lines. 
An example of the first line being better than the actual punch, take the first bar for example. First line was a nice personal shot at gambit then the executed punch was just a generic what your gonna do to him bar. Go down a few to bar 4. The first line in that bar, "Titanium claws or a Deck of Cards?  Which weapon would you Select for Harm" comes across as both humorous and sarcastic. That line would have been nice set up and emphasized as the main punch. However, the line after was generic again. 
You also used a rogue concept twice. Be consistent and creative, not repetitive. We notice that when we read the verse. On the plus side, it flowed fairly well and although they weren't worded or executed to top level, you had some nice concepts brought into this battle to use against Gambit. 

Rutter - Much more battle like. The verse was consistent as far as attacking every bar with a punch, however, one did come off as light. The side burns bar could have had much more creativity with the subject but it came off more as a beans type of punch, the I'll "punch you in the face, kick you in the teeth" or in your case deck to your ribs. While these work for a little jab and keep the verse going aggressively, they never come off as a strong punch. The perma ban, logans run, and star wars punch integrated into the punches towards wolverine were dope and definitely made the battle. They were easily the best written punches of the battle and for me the most creative as well because you were able to use things outside of the theme and turn them into strong punches against your opponents alias. 

MVGT: Rutter - Overall, I enjoy reading these types of battles because they are a bit different and bring out some cool bars that you normally would never see in a regular battle unless the persons username relates. I think Rutter easily took this, his verse was solid, polished and really aside from the one bar that was pretty light was a strong outing for him. S dubb showed some potential in this battle and definitely should keep at it and improving. 

#BANANAS


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 January 2017 at 2:05pm

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OK let's see what you got here guys..


Dubb's I liked your opener here straight in with a diss no messing around,plus it was
worded nice I thought,and it showed some nice aggression too,the wordplay was
also good and had some sprite attached,your next couple of bars were much the
same accept the inaccuracies that's already been addressed,not worded as good
as your 1st couple of bars though,but they still kept in theme,you seem to be working
these angles well enough also,i'm liking the concepts to be honest,i liked also how you came with a choice for the reader,cards or claws? ,that was a good addition to this
piece,the attacking of his love life was also good,I feel you could of done better though
to be honest,but it still carried merit,even with its flaws I enjoyed this drop,and you did
have highlights too to be fair,an enjoyable read..



RKB this verse you came had a direct and purposeful approach to it,more in tune with
a battle piece than Dubb's,it was also consistent too,I was feeling the pinches near on
every line here,most were good some just heavy jabs also,but I liked your opening bars,
you showed some good wordplay there with the "cards on the table/blowing up in your
face" and the staff good shit,the only line that i wasn't feeling in this drop (by your standards) was the side burns part,seemed to be a reach really,and your closing bar was a nice mixture of Star Wars (with the force part) meets Marvel,on the whole this
was a good display of good wordplay and punching,also like Dubb an enjoyable read
with sparks of creative angles,well done..

Overall I thought Rut's verse came stronger and more consistent than Dubb's,but both did well even with their flaws,Dubb's again my man sorry for voting against you,it does
seems the norm just lately,but you inaccuracies cost you here really..

Vote...Rut's..peace.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 January 2017 at 7:38pm
Good battle Rut, 0-3 KO..... This is good to be closed and moved......
Topical Twist League= 1-0
1-2 Punch League= 0-3
Regular Text= 0-1
Alias= 0-1
Topical= 1-0
Horrorcore= 1-0

Overall= 3-5
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 January 2017 at 5:52pm
^ what he said. KO Rutts.
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