Battlefield: [Text] SELF ACTIVATE vs S. Dubb (2-0)

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    Posted: 28 December 2016 at 11:36pm
Black Panter ( S.A.)vs Spiderman(S. Dubb)

24 line max.
48 hours to drop.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote S Dubb Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 January 2017 at 9:17pm
Think back, Your not Worth the gas For tha Hurse...
I'm a kill this kid quicker then your mother During Birth...
You'd get beat even if we were using Action Figures...
Smartest thing you've ever done was leaving the Advengers...
Your raps are sewage! Septic System...
Power punch and use my Web To Lift 'Em...
"Pop" this lame, like I was Turning up a Fanta...
Leave the states!  I'm a beat ya til you Return to Wakanda...
Bad guy?  Good Guy?  Make Up your Mind...
I've had Enough, it's Time to Rough Up this Guy...
You wanna be a villain, well you Fell in Terror...
Dudes retarted!  I mean his own name has Spelling Errors...
Rain, hail, sleet, or snow!  I'm a let you See the Storm...
Destroy your love for her just to Even the Score...
I bombed Carolina, just to Blow up a Panther...
Black activist, the only time you Show on a Banner...

I only done 16 homie.... do what you want..... 24 just too much.....

Expo's Black panthers mother died giving birth, he left the advengers to return to Wakanda, and he fell in love with Storm a member of X-Men....

Edited by The Law - 11 January 2017 at 3:39pm
Topical Twist League= 1-0
1-2 Punch League= 0-3
Regular Text= 0-1
Alias= 0-1
Topical= 1-0

Overall= 2-5
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SELF ACTIVATE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 January 2017 at 10:00pm
This shit is lunacy
Straight up buffoonery
Like who da fuck is foolin me?
I set this thread to crack the head
... Of Weapon X's "Wolverine"...
But I got Jubilee INSTEAD?!?!

This newbie's DEAD! Oh, my bad, Rutt already bodied this nigga!
But it's S. Scrubb so I hardly remembered! This slut mo butt ...
Than a party of strippers! Ayo ... I'm sorry ... I'm trippin ...
I came to scar em not diss em, arm-bar em and kick em ...
Til Peter Parker's in stitches from all the Carnage inflicted!
He wanna spar wit da "kitten"??? Well, Ragnarök is beginnin!
It's the start of his endin and his karma is pendin ...
As I'm carvin the kidneys and the heart from this victim ...
All the trauma he'll witness is kinda hard to envision ...
Like microscopic forensics or an optic of Hitler ...
Cos I can Nazi him winnin against Wakandan defenses!
My Krav Maga is relentless, his "spider-sense" is just senseless
Cos I B.Rock'n this nigga wit every shot that I give em ...
Yeah, Eddie Brock is a villian but I'm talkin bout Venom
That I can spit in his face! Look ain't no Shocker I'm frank ...
And I'm blunt wit the words like "Mary Jane is his dame
And she burns like an herb!"
... cos that bitch is a bird
He'll get kicked to the curb ... then prolly piss in his skirt
When my Vibranium paws leave em squished in da dirt!!!

*In a previous battle versus Rutter his alias was Wolverine*
*Ragnarok is the next apocalyptic level event in the MCU*
*Th Nazis failed in an invasion against Wakanda (The homeland of BP)
*Carnage, Venom(Eddie Brock/"B.Rock'n") & Shocker are all Spider-Man villians
* Mary Jane is self explanatory and to "burn" = STD
*Vibranium is the alloy/material BP's suit is made from

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote The Law Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 January 2017 at 4:03pm

This vote has been accepted by a moderator.

Verse and votes only, please refrain from free posting. Their are no bumps allowed in battles. 
Also, I edited the expo's under your verse as well. With that being said onto the voting. 

S Dubb - Much better than the last alias battle, I read from you, however, there was still it's up and downs. As for the overall verse, it was much smoother and flowed better. You need to work on your consistency and closely recognize the type of battle. For example, bar 6, did not work to well for me as an alias battle. In these types of battles, it should be entirely set against your opponents alias. If you were going to take that type of approach you need to link it more towards the alias as Rutter did against you in the last battle I voted on. In this case, you attacked Self for misspelling Black Panther rather than attacking the alias itself. Avengers was also spelled wrong. Doesn't effect the outcome of my vote at all, but it shows you don't polish verses which is more than just fixing spelling. Keep that in mind to read over your verse a couple times when you finish and make sure you touch everything up. In close battles, that could be the difference of winning or losing. Other bars, like it's time to rough up this guy, isn't a punch. Just a wasted filler bar that really could have been used in just about any type of battle, topical, or random open mic and worked. You don't have much to waste so stay away from filler and generics. Wakanda and storm bar both had potential but you really failed to utilize the creativity there and they just came off as cool concepts/light punch. On the plus side, the opener and closer worked well. 

Self - First thing I noticed, is you have to stick to the alias battle more. I thought it was a bit up and down in this approach. This is spiderman vs Black Panther so the wolverine/him battling rutter lines doesn't do much for me. It also seemed more like reading a topical for much of the battle. I may be missing something bars about his kidneys and trauma while were smooth and written well had nothing to do with spiderman and came off generic for me. Also Nazi/Not see does not work as a wordplay for me. I don't consider it, unless it works both ways. And I can nazi him winning, makes no sense. However, if it worked all the way through the concept using Wakanda was nice. From that point on I thought the creative use of the alias's and their world picked up utilizing the villians and spider mans love. However as I mentioned earlier they were written more like a topical than for a battle against an opponent. Towards the end it got very creative and had a several cool plays but the punches in themselves did not come off very strong because of the way the whole thing was constructed. 

MVGT: Self - Overall, I thought S Dubb's technical writing has improved since the last alias battle, but this was easily matched by an experienced Self. I thought Self easily had the better concepts of the battle from the last half of his verse. However, not many of his punches came off too strong for me as his verse seemed more topical based. He still gets my vote as for a better overall verse, well written and had the better concepts of the battle. 

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 January 2017 at 12:12pm

This vote has been accepted by a moderator.

I do like these alias battles,for me it shows creativity and makes a refreshing change..

S Dubb your verse was good on the whole,straight out the gate you was attacking here,
with the death of his mother via child birth,plus the inclusion of action figures was also
a nice touch,kind of demeaned his character I thought,like him quiting the Avengers n
going back to Wakanda with (pardon the pun) his tail between his legs,then his love for
Storm and the weather patterns,all nice details that helped this piece tick along,n you also went at SELF by mentioning the spelling mistake in the title,then you go and spell
Avengers wrong,no biggie really,but it does take some shine away overall,I
do however have some gripes though with your offering here dude,you only skimmed the surface really as details go,there was no mention of Spidey's abilitys ie,senses or agility,and you only just touched on his web slinging,no swinging between buildings or
shooting webs to tie up or snatch things from hands,the thing is I thought you had the
better character with the wealth of info to pool from here,but didn't make full use of
them on the whole,still a nice piece that I enjoyed and the wordplay at the end was a
nice parting shot I feel,good work fella..

SELF you came with a verse that was more battle orientated than Dubb's,mentioning
his past battle on Superhero's with Rut's and all,that was a nice angle i thought,and the
plays in this verse were nice also,Carnage n Parker/Nazi him aswell as the numerous
references to the Marvel world,i've also seen the episode where the war on Wakanda
with the Nazi's for their resources led by Klaw,which ties in the Nazi angle for me well,
I also liked the double meaning on words you displayed here too,"cos i B.Rock'n" just
to highlight 1 of many,and the outro was good i thought with the paws aspect too,
however your verse was also up and down really,I couldn't at times decipher if it was
a topical or battle piece,although you showed good knowledge of the Marvel Universe,
you only really showed us glimpses,you had me wanting more in the way of detail,like how his father was Black Panther and how he died,that kind of thing,still it's was a nice outing and enjoyable read from you..

Overall both did real well,but there has to be a winner right?,before I made this choice,
I read both verse twice,both as it happens had their moments also,but I'm going to go
with SELF here,here's why,just on the whole he showed creativity with the twisting of
words and plays,plus he gave more insight to his character,Dubb's although truthfully
a good drop you dished up,you didn't express your character or exploit as well as
SELF,but you did hold your own though,props to both here for the entertainment value..

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