Text Battle Archive: [text] The_Guy Vs. The Rap Daemon [0-3] |
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The Rap Daemon
Standard Member Joined: 05 August 2015 Location: Purgatory Status: Offline Points: 1108 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-14-0 Form: LWLWWL |
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Posted: 16 May 2017 at 8:53pm |
5 Bars
1 Week House Rules |
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Faggot
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The_Guy
Standard Member Joined: 18 May 2013 Status: Offline Points: 1014 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 16-12-0 Form: WLWWLL |
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cool...check
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The_Guy
Standard Member Joined: 18 May 2013 Status: Offline Points: 1014 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 16-12-0 Form: WLWWLL |
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Delete the first one mod...i made it larger to read
Daemon nothing you write is devilish, all your verses are terrible Read each one of your open mics, bro them shits were unbearable Your record explains it all, everything you key is lethargic Your shots off, aiming for perfection but stay missing the target Him throwing fast ones?! I dodge’em and crumble his knuckles to stew You struck out, and won’t win again, best you retire with two You’ve been here for multiple years, and can’t formulate winning tactics And your punches, I ‘brush em off’ like a Jay Z classic Return of the Mac?…im more like a virus to your computer Cause your tracks aren’t ‘moving me’ like a broken commuter |
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The Rap Daemon
Standard Member Joined: 05 August 2015 Location: Purgatory Status: Offline Points: 1108 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-14-0 Form: LWLWWL |
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Ok... This guy...
You said we can have 1 week deadline if needed, but if what you meant when you said that Was we'd need 1 weak dead line you might stand a chance 'coz you have plenty of them man But really though ain't no way you can win bro, you have never been dope The definition of you is shit and I ain't talking 'bout your skin tone While me? When I 'open mics' I rip it hard so step and you'll be stopped 'Coz I'll have to 'Double Down' and it won't be 'Friendly Fire'... No 'Cuba drops' You even said you're rusty so when it comes to pressing the metal you should pipe down 'Coz I bring the fight like a fresh bullet, no 'light rounds' so for you it's lights out Leave him red and purple -- bloody and bruised -- should fix him screws Not quoting members when I say I broke this guy down into crimson juice. |
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Faggot
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Neek
Site Moderator Super Mario Slaughterer Joined: 05 October 2004 Status: Offline Points: 3862 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-1-0 Form: LWWW |
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This vote has been accepted by a moderator. Dr. Flavor Town: Daemon nothing you write is devilish, all your verses are terrible technically speaking.. isnt terrible a synonym for bad? bad being a synomym for sin.. sin being.. well you get the point. Read each one of your open mics, bro them shits were unbearable how do you really feel? dont be coy. Your record explains it all, everything you key is lethargic slow.. as in retarded? Your shots off, aiming for perfection but stay missing the target if his shots off.. nevermind. Him throwing fast ones?! I dodge’em and crumble his knuckles to stew I definitely know a guy you could ghostwrite for. 100% You struck out, and won’t win again, best you retire with two You’ve been here for multiple years, and can’t formulate winning tactics And your punches, I ‘brush em off’ like a Jay Z classic is you feeling like a pimp? Return of the Mac?…im more like a virus to your computer Cause your tracks aren’t ‘moving me’ like a broken commuter a broken commuter? wtf.. ok, this one I wanna actually breakdown.. so tracks.. a play on songs or recordings.. and tracks as in a means of public transportation.. either train or trolly carts im imagining.. ok.. so.. tracks.. arent.. moving you.. like broken commuters. are you the broken commuter? that the tracks dont move? or is he a broken commuter thats depressed infront of the railway thats waiting to die and hes just so wack nobody moves him out the way..but then it gets jumbled cause you said move you..and im just feeling like I have no wtf youre on about.. at all. -------- Sing Angelica: Ok... This guy... You said we can have 1 week deadline if needed, but if what you meant when you said that Was we'd need 1 weak dead line you might stand a chance 'coz you have plenty of them man I think you knew what you meant. but nobody else does. But really though ain't no way you can win bro, you have never been dope this actually flows nice. The definition of you is shit and I ain't talking 'bout your skin tone racist or ??.. either way.. never again. While me? When I 'open mics' I rip it hard so step and you'll be stopped 'Coz I'll have to 'Double Down' and it won't be 'Friendly Fire'... No 'Cuba drops' line of the battle imo You even said you're rusty so when it comes to pressing the metal you should pipe down 'Coz I bring the fight like a fresh bullet, no 'light rounds' so for you it's lights out I like that you didnt fucking overdo the light shit. kept it subtle and it worked. good job. the rusty/pipe down/metal wasnt as lucky. maybe a "rainy day" play to go with rusty. not so much pipe down. Leave him red and purple -- bloody and bruised -- should fix him screws Not quoting members when I say I broke this guy down into crimson juice. you know...worded oddly.. but atleast it made sense and wasnt entirely stretched. it was coherent. I like it.. not a haymaker, but a nice nod and im sure everyone appreciates a "Hi Crimson" line. well fellas.. this wasnt exactly battle of the year, but it also wasnt the worst one ive seen either. Guy - I know you took daemon light.. but theres a fine line between not trying and not showing up at all. Daemon - I see the improvements. I like them. keep working towards them, dont feel like youve hit the mark. more of this tho. please. overall, I think guy just tossed together words that rhymed and figured it was that much of a walk in the park that who gives a fuck. daemon started off and I felt like…god damnit. not this shit again.. but he turned it around and had a couple lines that definitely took this home. vote = daemon |
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#Bananas
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Goryo.
Groupie Joined: 28 June 2016 Status: Offline Points: 431 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 4-4-0 Form: LWLWLW |
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This vote has been accepted by a moderator. Guy: Bar 1: Started off on a good note and I get that devilish can mean dope but the punch could've been taken in a better direction instead of the statement. It was an anti-climax, good as a blunt insult if you were just talking shit but definitely out of place. Bar 2: This wasn't bad. Bit of a stretch describing someone's writing style as lethargic. I get what you mean and most others will but it just came across as a bit odd for the sake of making a rhyme. The punch itself was quite decent with the tie in to his OM. Bar 3: Decent use of the number 2, and I dunno if I'm just putting things together in my head but the bar seemed to have a few baseball references in it. Bar 4: Not bad, I thought the punch was simple and somewhat effective but I personally ain't a fan of using song titles to base them off of unless there is some form of wordplay or double entendre involved. It's like when Fabolous said 'Delirious like Eddie Murphy' etc, just a bit tacky to me. Bar 5: Mac/virus bit was cool. Wording was bad for the final punch though it was a fairly good concept until the commuter bit cause it would only make sense if you referred to it as a commuter train. Maybe if you said 'a late commuter' referring to the commuter himself or something. Daemon: Bar 1: That was actually quite good. Really needs to be worded differently especially with the 'you might stand a chance' thrown in there but I got what you meant. Was quite original but the wording did lessen the impact. Bar 2: Nah not feeling this. Was too simple and didn't come off in the funny way you intended it to. Bar 3: This was cool. Not a personal but as a stand alone line it was pretty dope. Could have been used against anyone though. Bar 4: Pretty generic gun play however with the personals tied in you made it work. Bar 5: Again this could've been used against anyone but the double entendre was decent. The rhyme from the first line was pretty forced though which took away from the overall bar. Overall: Guy you did come quite personal and you poked fun at him. The second and third bars were your strong points, and the rest either didn't hit or were quite forced. Judging by your record you can come a lot harder than this. Daemon you really tried to come with creativity but the universal lines and stretched bars softened the verse up. The personals you used did hit a little harder imo. Rhyme wise you were about even but my vote goes to Daemon for being slightly more focused and making better use of the personals he had. Very close battle though. Vote - Daemon |
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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This vote has been accepted by a moderator. The Guy your verse was steady enough here,your punches were decent and landing too,although they were no heavy blows as such,you seemed to come more from a personal angle,which to be honest worked but became dull as you seemed to carry that one concept throughout,(his record/losses),for me your last bar was your best bar,plus with the double play (mac/computer and the broken commuter) was good, even the multi syllables of 3 were a good inclusion also,for me it was the bar of the battle,overall you dropped a good verse,besides the last bar the piece read a little flat because you stayed in the same vein,but in your defence you have stated your rusty, i can see a couple more battles and your swagger will be popping off,and kicking butt.. RD your opening bar was good really,although I had to reread it due to your wording, which still seemed strange on the 2nd attempt,but the personal/punch was present, although not a haymaker it worked still,and to be honest this pretty much sums up your verse on the whole,but what you did have,and worked in your favour was creativity,i feel you tried to come off as fresh with the slants taken throughout this drop,you also seemed to be more directed & better aimed overall,your personals was the key for you i feel here,you did have some good display of them within,the vibe from the off was one of wanting this,that's the impression i got from your drop.. Overall this was close in my opinion,TG had a cleaner verse with his offering,and to be honest it was good,but RD brought some spark to this battle,he did have the better creativity and slightly better personals because they varied,then for me TG had the best bar,hmm not an easy call this,I'm going to go with RD here,simply because his effort stood out more for me,and TG I know that's kind of a lame way to call a winner here,but it is all I could use to separate you both.. Vote...Rap Daemon..(just)..peace. |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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Nigma
Site Moderator Joined: 25 March 2013 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 4077 Crew: Elision |
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Rap Daemon wins via 3-0 KO
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