Text Battle Archive: [Text-Compliment Battle] TRD Vs. Dizz(3-2)

I'm sorry I forgot about this. I've got a verse, I'll go back to it and post within 24 hours.

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Ok, I'm not gonna bar-by-bar this, cos it's not that kinda battle ... and it's too damn long. Let's just say 2 very different approaches here.

Subtle v Full homo
'Bars' v 'Jokes'
Too long v Too short


DAEMON
This was nicely done on the whole.
I see you treated it much like a normal battle - setup, punch, setup, punch, with your wordplay here and there - and some of this came off pretty well. But there was a tendency to 'set up' as though you were about to par him, then switch to a positive on the punch, and as a tactic I can see that that could work, but here I felt the overall 'punch' (or whatever the friendly equivalent is) came off as weaker for it.
Bar 3 for a random example :
"But why rape? That's something you misuse, it's becoming an issue"
That's a really dope setup for a regular battle, succinct, and with the inner rhyming that would have been good to have seen more of... but I feel it falls flat a bit on the next line.
I also detect some more of that awkward wording that you get when you twist your setup into submission, and end up with a phrase that jars because no one would say it like that ... examples ...
"you make us stir crazy in all ya fancy"
"this warm home be dormant"
"You give the saying 'actions speak louder than words the slip now'"
(In contrast, I'm pretty sure that the whole of Dizzle's verse is made of things he says in general conversation, lol).
I did like some of the plays though ... examples ...
The muscle tone bar, (also liked the inners in the setup)
Drinking habits bar,
And the closer too.
And I know it was unlimited as agreed, but I did feel this could've benefitted from being condensed into a shorter verse. That might be on me though, as I do struggle with long verses, as I have the attention span of a ....
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DIZZLE
Dizzle, dizzle, dizzle. This will no doubt be one of those things people either love or hate ... I know there's an analogy for that, what the fuck is it now? ... no not marmite ... Rape! ... that's it. Personally I enjoyed it, but I know there are folks out there who'll vote you down just for mentioning one anal raping. (I know, because it happened to me.) (Pause?)
First off, line count apart, it's clear you spent considerably less time on your verse than your opponent, and that is both a minus and a plus here ... though I am sure you could've done better with it, it does give it the air of nonchalance that makes it all the more enjoyable to read.
The opening was fairly meh, but the rewording concept worked OK
The rhyming on the next 2 lines was bad,
'nice as you' / 'cum blast you'
and that stands out to me particularly because all the rest was on point.
I liked that you kept the same Multi for the second half of your verse, I thought that worked really well, and flowed fairly nicely despite the line length and lack of inners.
token quote ...
"If thats rude, i beg your pardon cuz when you drop feed, i get a hard on"
This line was one of the least gross, but I found it the funniest ... connection?
Biggest minus here however is the brevity, cos it ends just as you started to hit your stride.
"I love you RD"
Cute little finish.


THE BIT AT THE END
I enjoy the compliment battle concept in general, (Shufflo's one being one of my favourite things ever), and in my non-subjective and correct opinion, it's all about the entertainment value, and needs humour to sell it, rather than just being battle bars that are polite.
It was a close battle though and I do feel that both did really well, producing diametrically opposed verses, best described with the following well-known analogy -

One porridge was ... too cold

One porridge was ... full of semen and faeces, and smeared round the walls

But for being the closest to "just right" ... MFVGT ... DayDizzle89

This vote has been accepted by a moderator.

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RD~

your opener was very clean lines with the backhanded compliment...I'm a fan of the set up punch. You used some obvious tactics, like the rape stuff...and you actually turned it into a compliment, oddly enough.. it worked. I think your flow suffered on this one tho...there is a lot of cramming (no pun)

You rapist prick, at least you're on top here like you are with your vic's!
I'm starting to think the reason your on the offenders list.
Is more from lyrical rape than your infatuation with having sex with kids.

I think the chain line had potential, but I think if fell a bit short. Some of your wording doesn't seem to fit ...

It's only when you can't get a name out of your mouth ,it rots away
But on the metal, I ain't bothered ey, at least your skills are off the Chain.

Your closer is nice, good wordplay, flow is there, so is the compliment (lol) all around a good way to close this.

DAY~

Uh...having to read this more than once makes me feel dirty. But here we go nonetheless. Your opener made me quite uncomfortable, unfortunately it was full of imagery...I don't really see that being a compliment, it more on the realm of sexual assault...you do follow up with some nice things about RD, * being the man, how nice he is, he gives you a smile* before going back to defilement.

*Your mom raised a gentleman thats filled with great looks and attitude
Your so polite, i bet you would even hold my dick while in the bathroom
a chat while i piss away about how great the weather is this afternoon
and give me a few shakes and pay for my cab, your that chap at that magnitude.*

This starts of sweet, its has a great flow, rhyming is on point and other the fact that its weird as fuck, you make it seem like he's a great guy for this...so yeah...you sell the compliment.

This one wasn't as easy as I thought it would be... I like RD's approach better, but I think he stumbled a little with some of the lines, as far as flow and selling the punch/compliment...I think Day used too much of one angle, a few lines were good for shock value, and funny...but I woulda liked to see what else you coulda done with this.

Vote Dizzle - more well rounded verse

This vote has been accepted by a moderator.

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Lol funny concept. Diz yours was funny as fuck. But rap's is conceptually more clever and much longer. He gets my vote because I think it's better quality given the word play and the advantage the extra bars bring.. even though yours made me laugh out loud.

My vote needs improvement so..

12 lines of diz
32 of rap

Rap has the line advantage, wordplay advantage, and technical advantage imo.

Did has the comedic advantage.

With the categories I look for in a verse rap wins it 3-1

Vote = rap

3-2 winner TRD...