Open Mic: thanks anyways... |
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HI-Z
Groupie Joined: 27 June 2016 Status: Offline Points: 196 Crew: Alter Egos |
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Posted: 24 August 2016 at 8:46am |
I had personal questions about my
Sexuality Saw what i thought was a hot chick But in reality She had a clitoris that dwarfed my Shit phallically Stacked tits and red lips hide the Obvious anatomy Had an ass that must have lead many Men to tragedy We were 5 shots deep when she asked Sporadically "Have you ever thought about fuckin me, Honestly?" Shit if I was gay I would tare that ass Up periodically "So you think I'm hot, or you just replying Mockingly?" "I dont know" I say much to my surprise, Shockingly You identify as a women and fuck men is that Homosexuality? Is penetration the point at which It's considered A travesty? "If we're born with sin than its a part of our Personality" She didn't mutilate her self to adapt a new Identity She accepted her self and I respect that Emphatically Look at Bruce Jenner who had to change himself Radically "Didn't help" She replied and we laughed Sarcastically Exasperated the bottle half evaporated I Contemplated If she ejaculated would I feel emasculated or Appreciated I hesitated than simply stated the facts she Congratulated And said relax than left, I hit cinemax than Masturbated To lesbians that seemed jaded Preconceived and overrated ------------------------------------------------------------------------- LOOK My point is you don't know till your tested I think most gay people were molested And they can't trust the opposite sexes Ain't killed themselves that's a blessin Except them for who they are, correction Who their trying to be ain't a impression Any one have the balls to offer direction On this post or is it my turn for rejection I could coast and feed off the suspension I fucking love awkwardness and tension Topic less and offensive misconceptions Offering half hearted passive aggression Passes as answers to rhetorical questions Spoken like their joking hiding depression That's eroding your vocal cords choking Your message, until it's broken invoking Rights as a writer who writes provoking Thoughts is what we do inciting fights Riots at night fires for light ignite smoking Embers bring em to life sharpen your knife Than use it, got a gift I bet you abuse it Confuse it for a talent used for amusement Until you End up like Bruce Consumed by Improvement. |
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HI-Z
Groupie Joined: 27 June 2016 Status: Offline Points: 196 Crew: Alter Egos |
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I feel like this post needs some context lol, I spoke with a close family friend last night and I mentioned that I write. I said and I quote "I can rap about anything" lol. To witch he replied than write about meeting a tranny at a bar, so i did lol. And when I finished the verse he said "I bet you don't have the balls to post that shit". Lmao challenge accepted.
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Konflict
Groupie Joined: 12 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 48 |
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I liked it. The structure really helped the flow of the read and the honesty made it much more interesting. I liked the switch in the middle all the way to how you wrapped it up at the end. Good work!
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HI-Z
Groupie Joined: 27 June 2016 Status: Offline Points: 196 Crew: Alter Egos |
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Thank you konflict I don't think most ppl made it past the first few bars, I'm glad you took time to read the full drop.
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iLL ScriptureZ
Standard Member Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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this is weird... lets dig into it. You're subject matter is current however I think some of the execution could have been better. I think just touching on the sexual side of transgender people did this piece an injustice. I know as the character, the contemplation comes from self-questioning. I liked HOW you wrote this thought. The one word in the next bar gave it a pretty dope delivery. I think you could've done without the second verse and just had a better ending to 1st. Again, that would be changing the ideal of the sexual side since you left it with jerking off.
It was a weird joint, the idea was there like I said, but the execution lacked to me. I appreciate the outside of the box thinking tho
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HI-Z
Groupie Joined: 27 June 2016 Status: Offline Points: 196 Crew: Alter Egos |
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Thank you scripturez for the feed I disagree with some of your coments though. I don't feel as though simply touching on the sexual side of transgender individuals did this piece any injustice. As most drops contain a sexual reference normally heterosexual in nature though. And I felt as though I ended the first verse with my personal views on homosexuality and porn by stating I felt as though it was "preconceived and overrated".
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